my pastor sends mixed signals
Posted by proverbs31woman in Love on Feb 15th, 2011 | 8 commentsI been going to a church for the last 7 months. I enjoy the pastor he is a young good looking single man that is on fire when it comes to ministering. ALL the thing i love.When I started going there we would meet reguarly. I tried to not fall for him which made it hard cause i started working with him closely and we started calling and texting. Sometimes he would call late at night and if i didnt return the call or text he would ask if i had company.I didnt know how to respond to this cause i felt like thats none of his buiness. Sometimes its all about church than others its just personal conversation.He tells me he is lonely too and he wants a wife.Next thing i know im making doctors appointments i have his social security date of birth all his personal information. He always talk to me about things first before telling others in the church. He have asked to me my outake on marraige and life. He have even self invited his self to dinner at my house twice. But i always find an excuse for him not to come. The other single women in the church are starting to dislike me even comparing my relationship with him is not like theirs.Im confused because i think i am falling in love with him and i dont want to. I mean one day our “friendship” is blooming and than its calms down (primarily cause me cause i dont want to read into him more than it might be). I have asked friends and family about this situation and some stated that this is not healthy and it is going to far.People say i should just ask him.I dont feel comfortable doing so because it would create an akwardness. i have already stepped down from a position with him and he was not to thrill.I have stopped going to church reguarly and I dont call him as much mainly text. i need help!!!!!!!
8 Responses to “ “my pastor sends mixed signals”
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nothing wrong with being in love with a pastor…especially if the feeling is mutual….as you said that people have told you to approach him about it. you both are capable adults and should be able to handle that talk…if he doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do him no harm done….and if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay too. you’ll both learn to cope with your differences as adults (hopefully) don’t be shy you never know what you might miss…as for the people passing judgement on you for your form of relationship to the pastor….let them get over it…they need to spend more time working on there own lives and stop trying to butt in on yours. what you do and who you have relations with is none of their business regardless of the situation. i personally think that one of the hardest things to learn is not to care what people think. you are there for your god and family. and that pastor becomes part of your family then so be it ^_^
just be happy…and if being around him is it…let it be so…don’t let others jealousy get in YOUR way ^_^ i don’t know you at all….but don’t ever sell yourself short because of what someone else thinks or says…you deserve greatness ^_^
Hey didn’t you say he is single. Whats wrong with you? God sends you a good husband and you run for cover. Wow, you women kill me. I guess you want a bad boy. Now he has shown interest in you, he is single and he is lonely. Get it. Forget what anybody else thinks. Did you pray about it?
I understand that. I am in love with my minister. I know he feels the same. We both had broken engagements in the last year. I’ve known him for six years and helped me thru abusive relationships. We finally kissed recently and have been spending time with one another and now its strong. It’s not like we have different beliefs. We both single I’m 32 he’s 37 both never been married and no kids. Even though I’m not a minister of the church I minister to people. I don’t see any harm if you are working for God. We both desire love and to be loved. It’s hard because love is a gift and I want to share that with him. This is something that’s hard I don’t see anything wrong if he’s single and I’m single.
Decide first if you actually like him or you like his position as your hero. Its common for ladies to like powerful men.
I would look up info on Pastors wives for helpful advice – eek not a happy existence if you ask me!
Then flat out, ask him is he interested in courting/ dating you. If he is a man of God, he should just spit it out. If he is wolf, he will continue playing. Thats when you RUN.
Ignore the above posts. They don’t know what they’re talking about.Your pastor is being inappropriate with you. He’s asking you for favors that he shouldn’t be… Who makes appointments for their pastors?? That’s ridiculious!
He’s making you uncomfortable. Know your boundaries and lay them out for him and for anyone who tries to take advantage of you, don’t let them!
God did not tell us to live for him and just with him. he said live for him and grow, have children, fall in love. God created man and women to live and prosper. to have children and multiple. If he is who you are falling for don’t be afraid. just don’t let temptation get the best of you.
you sure it’s the pastor sending mixed signals?
why do do i know these kind of relationships.they are full of unpleasant stepping on the gas and stepping on the breaks the next second.
from personal experience you are having power imbalance (minister and ministered).
Its the same dynamic and confusion between boss and secretary, teacher and student when both persons are in a matured age.
wish you luck.