Love Letter to a Lost Southern Belle #1

I miss you, Keerin. I’m not supposed to. We were never supposed to be anything, not only according to law but apparently also according to fate.

Even though I don’t think of you in quite the depraved way as I used to I still desire you intensely, enough to wake up early in the morning to murmur out a love letter to you into my pillow while clinging to it as though I were embracing you. Knowing full well that I’m mostly forgotten and what remembrance remains is likely tainted with repugnance and maybe some self-reproach.

Fool’s errand this may be, this is the only way I’ll be corresponding to you, until I give up or get over you or I or the Internet die. I’m very sorry that I was such a condescending verbal bully who refused to accept you and sought to mold you after the pattern of my deviant appetites but not appreciate you as a person and a companion. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.

I don’t know if I ever loved you or if I love you know, but you’re in my heart somewhere in some way. In a way I can’t shake.

I hope all is going well for you.