Love for my step-daughter.

I write this now as my feelings have become too strong to ignore or suppress. Do not mistake that I am somehow confused over my feelings only deeply saddened. I am tormented by them. I lie awake at night reliving small moments of time with her. I wake ridden with anxiety over the possibility of not seeing her. I linger over pictures of her for periods of time that seem infinite. I am lost and in pain. My adult step-daughter has become a young woman with striking beauty, gentle grace, intelligence and all of the things I desire in one I wish to spend my life with. My thoughts are consumed by her and I am helplessly captivated by her smile, her words, her smell…her. Even as I write this, tears overwhelm me. I long to hold her and kiss her as I would the love of my life, as I am sure she is. We share more together than I can honestly admit to sharing with anyone else. Simply having her close to me fills me with warmth and I honestly bask in her sweet and gentle nature. I watch over and protect her as a parent should but the selfishness of my love for her consumes me and blurs my role. There are flickers of a passionate love in return but I can’t bring myself to capture those moments. I recognize something different in her love for me; shy and nervous but a consuming knowledge that something else is between us. I hear in her words small hints of loneliness and longing. I see jealousy in her eyes when with her mother. I feel desperation in her hugs. Something about her manner towards me is destroying my sanity. I tread in dangerous waters as I admit to these feelings but I fear the thought of dying and never expressing my love or dancing with her again. I love her with all my heart and perhaps this forum will prove to be the only link to the feelings I have. Perhaps her search for her own answers will bring her to this passage.



106 Responses to “ “Love for my step-daughter.”

  1. marie says:

    YOUR HER “FATHER” KNOCK IT OFF!!!! Get a hobby, get something…. Friggin men that pull this krap really **** me off! I’ve been on the recieving end of this “love” and trust me when push comes to shove ITS NOT LOVE! She’s your child and its doesnt matter her age… SHE”S YOUR CHILD! If only more “mothers” would pay attention NONE of these “feelings” would happen! now Im annoyed! I hate when I see these kind of postings… being a woman of this kinda life as a child.. sucked LARGE.. think of HER feelings for once! and how this is going to affect her.. because trust me IT WILL!

    • WolfChild says:

      I suggest you keep your opinions that can offend people to yourself.
      This site is to not judge others, It’s why this site was made for people to confess and speak the truth.
      Respect that and get over it.

      Don’t judge the man,
      You wouldn’t want to be judged for your confession.
      I suggest you respect and know that this man is aware that it is wrong and he struggles through it.

      I could never see what he means for falling for my step dad or mom
      but it doesn’t make it right to go off and tell him what love is.
      He’s a grown man, and he confessed this.

      • disgusted says:

        I disagree. If you don’t want to hear peoples opinions then you may as well write your confessions in a diary and keep them to yourself. That’s why this site is anonymous. Only God can judge you but I would want to hear readers opinions on my confession. Some people need to hear how rediculous they are but don’t want to hear it from people they have to see.

        • Brittany says:

          I completely agree. I wrote my own confession. Alot of people were very angry with me, and it hurt what people said but I still read it, some people (the people that were kind and understanding) helped me get through it, and made me feel not like an animal, like a person with feelings, and mistakes (stupid nonetheless) happen.

          • Shell says:

            I agree with the above – the poster needs to knock off this silly behavior – it’s asking for trouble.

    • Anonymous says:

      I agree. You should watch Opera’s episode on Pedophiles. Honestly. They think they’re in love with their victims as well.
      The best thing for you to do is to **** off and get out of their lives. Divorce the mother, and move far enough away that you will never see that poor girl again. NO she is not jealous, and NO you cannot have a relationship with her and it’s disgusting that you’re having these thoughts much less considerations. Go talk to a professional. You have issues.

      • IndyRacer57 says:

        Better re-read the letter. He said he adult step daughter. How is he a Pedophiles?? It has nothing to do with children.

    • A Step-daughter says:

      marie it actually depends on the person and what you go through i am only 16 and same as you the stepdad love thing has happenedbut this started as soon as i started to develope and as time goes on i realized i love him and theres no other man for me, and he loves me as well but for you you could of not liked the attentin as many don’t and to the writer unless she tells you try to hold back the urges to be with her because she could just be confused

  2. Anonymous says:

    thank-you for your honesty this is really a place were we should not judge or be judged ^ .. it would be natural to have a attraction to your partners daughter she well is half of your partners gens ,, in saying this , what ever you do i recommend you never act upon it . you are her father no mater what . do not mistake her loneliness as a opening to intimacy between you two . you have to be the adult here and put your feelings of sexuality about her aside . for every ones sake .

  3. Anonymous says:

    i wouldnt do it, your lusting for her more then the loving

  4. Anon says:

    Hey, Woody Allen got away with it. Best of luck.

  5. Dazed says:

    That’s one of the most truly romantically tragic stories I have ever read. I don’t see anything wrong with what has happened to you. But it must be kept locked away forever. You have the kind of love for her that one could never develop for anyone else by meeting and dating tomorrow. If only every one of us could experience that kind of bond with someone before it becomes a romantic and then true companionship. We just don’t do it that way in our society. Go with the bittersweet memories. You must find a way to be content with only the thoughts of what IS and not what can never be. You have her heart and she has yours in almost every way but one. That’s not so bad. You must be content with that. Cherish it. If you need to … fantasize about the rest. While your years and wisdom may tell you that the kind of bond you share with this younger woman would give fruit to something truly special and lasting between you both, you have to realize that she does not have the same life experience, nor could ever understand it the same way you do. And even you can’t be sure about that. So you must let it go. I believe that in a perfect world where two people could make it work, it would truly be the best kind of love both physical and emotional we all only wish for in our dreams. The chemistry and intimacy would be epic. I feel for you. But take and accept the next best thing in your love. That’s having a loving step daughter.

  6. I'm a stepdaughter, too. says:

    I’m 22 years old and my stepfather started making comments to me a couple years ago about the way I look, and who I am, and whatnot. At first, I tried to just say thank you or brush him off. I think he may have gotten the wrong idea at this point, but it got worse and more provocative. I eventually just ignored him and he went away, angry, but I haven’t heard from him in months. I don’t live anywhere near him and my mother but I elected not to tell my mom about it, to avoid conflict. A few months ago, I found out the my mother had known about this all along – she knew he’d been IMing and texting me, and she never even approached me about it – AND she didn’t consider leaving. This whole thing has destroyed our relationship. I no longer respect my mother or my stepfather, and I feel estranged from my youngest brother because I want nothing to do with them; I think they’re disgusting. What you need to do is get help. I can pretty much assure you she is not interested and you will only hurt her and her mother, and probably cause a problem with THEIR relationship if you act on these feelings. It is unhealthy and unnatural. I’m not judging you, I just think you should seek help before you act on something that will not make her feel loved, but trapped and hurt.

  7. realz says:

    to the person who wrote this you are a great writing, im not even gonna judge u cause u words were sooo moving- im writing a novel about something simialr to ur situation and i wann use bites of your passage

  8. Jordie says:

    I too am a stepfather who loves his stepdaughter very much but the thing is I’m not sure if it’s not just the natural love a man should have for a daughter anyway.
    I always look forward to seeing her and feel great inside when I do. These feelings didn’t just happen overnight. It’s not lust and I’m not a pervert. Have to say I’m a bit confused as to why I feel this way but what the hell it stays locked up.

    We are both very mature people.
    Never will I approach her with my feelings. I respect her far too much to do that.
    I fully understand how that man feels and feel sure from the way he compiled his letter he has the intelligence to keep it under his hat.
    I have a loving wife, son and a good family life.

  9. Role Reversal says:

    I truly feel for you from the bottom of my heart.
    I am a step daughter and i’m in love with my step father.
    I never knew my biological father as he died before i was born. My mother remarried when i was 9 and over time, i got really close to my step father. Emotionally.
    We were, and are best of friends and are able to share anything and everything with each other. We also have similar interests which means we genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
    However, just before christmas last year, we became more intimate and slowly engaged into a sexual relationship. He confessed that he might be in love with me romantically.
    Now i’m a girl that does not believe in love and the illusion it creates but without me even knowing, i fell in love with him too.
    My mother has always been a very jealous woman so she tried everything in her power to sabotage me and my step father’s relationship. She did not know what was going on between us of course.
    She… well, succeeded and my step father no longer loves me and is becoming more and more distant.
    There’s nothing i can do about it but like you, lie in bed every night dwelling on the past and asking myself what could of happened. perhaps in another universe we’d be together.
    Sadly the reality is that he still loves my mother, too much to realise her mind games and malice. I on the other hand am suffering more than anyone can imagine.

    So i’m asking you to look in your heart and ask yourself if it is worth the risk. I risked my family, my step father’s reputation and eventually my relationship with him for those memorable days i spent with him when we were in love. I’d do it all again even though i have to endure this pain i have possibly for the rest of my life.

    Just be careful, love is about making your step daughter happy. If she is, i’m sure you can sacrifice your urge and desire for her happiness.

    • anom says:

      I too am in a similar situation. I believe that against all logic and reason that I have also fallen in love with my step daughter. I am not with her mother anymore but she is so much younger than I. I realize there is no way she feels the same. Like you and your step dad, we are the best of friends and are able to share anything with one another. Despite the age difference I have never known any woman like I know her and the pain this causes me is very real. I can’t expect her know how special what we have is and what it could lead to. She would just have to learn that in her own time and most likely with someone else. My secret desire will never be worth the risk of destroying the bond and true love we share as a dad and his daughter. Thats not a bad thing to have. The rest I must leave alone. At least you were able to have that kind of love for a time. I say treasure it no matter how much pain the memory brings.

  10. Lady J says:

    If you were not in a relationship with her mother I would tell you to go for it. Age difference isn’t important if you really love someone.
    However you need to look at your current relationship instead of wishing for a new one. If you were truly happy with your wife, you wouldn’t be looking elsewhere. Is it possible your step daughter represents all the good things which attracted you to your wife? She is probably a lot like your wife, just younger and gentler.
    Sort out your marriage first.
    Good luck x

  11. iris says:

    omg thats sooo sweet i had that problem once… now im feel realy heavy in my heart.

  12. Xenophobic says:

    Your supposed to be in love with the woman you married. This is probably your punishment for not marrying for love. Probably married her just for sex.

  13. october says:

    OMFG!!!thats so sweeet,sensitive,and loving… *sniffles* and im emo

  14. IndyRacer57 says:

    Well make that another step Father and Step daughter in love with each other. We are moving in together by Aug 1st we hope.

    • annona says:

      ewwwwm that’s so wrong.. i hope you know that this isn’t going to last unless she is really stupid. if she was an intelligent woman, it wouldn’t have gone this far.
      i pray to God that you don’t have children together.. how do you think they’re going to feel, knowing your history..
      i’m guessing that your girlfriend/daughter has sexual abuse issues in her past and that you are a sociopath, narcissist or both. you were in a position of power and control over your daughter and you took advantage of both her and her mother and any other family members that may be involved.. how about their mother/daughter relationship?? in my opinion, you should be arrested, your in incest-or!

      • IndyRacer57 says:

        you are wrong on most bases. We have always been very close relationship. You say girlfriend/father. No it is step daughter, not a real daughter even though we had that kind of relationship. We were seperated for some 13 years and we have decided it is time show each other our real love. Her mother (my x ) has seen how we love each other and has not one problem with it. Most family members knows how we fell and is excepting it.
        Why must most people put sexual abuse in every relationship or problem? There has been no sexaul abuse. Bad relationships? Yes for both of us and it is time to stop and now smell the roses.

        • anonna says:

          look up incest on wiki, dumbh*t.. it’s called intrafamilal abuse and it’s the most common kind.. even between “steps” be a man and get the poor girl some help, you are so beyond being effed up, you don’t even know it..

          • anonna says:

            not to mention completely illiterate.. i shouldn’t even be surprised that you’re shacking up with your stepdaughter..

          • IndyRacer says:

            ha yes we must always bring abuse into it. This is not my step daughter, it is my x step daughter so no incest. Besides, how do you “abuse” someone that is 28 years old and has her on mind and feelings? I bet you are one of those spell checkers also.

          • shush...:-/ says:

            Okay. You really have no right to go about judging someone you don’t know. Grow up. People don’t get on this site just to have some idiot like you insult them and their situation.

  15. annona says:

    Okay Einstein/IndieRacer.. Why don’t try couples therapy and see how that goes.
    If you care so much about your stepdaughter, why not try that? You”ll soon find out how “healthy” your relationship is.

  16. IndyRacer57 says:

    Sorry to bust you bubble again but we have been in therapy for a couple of weeks. They are all for the move not only for her but for her kids. See she has two children ages 7 and 9. The girl who is 9 can’t wait to get down here.
    Yes we plan on continuing therapy because of some of the problems the kids has to deal with.

  17. A stepdaughter says:

    This is so sweet. I am also in love with my stepfather. We became very intimate with each other about a year ago. It’s not just a sexual attraction, but we understand each other very well and we’re best friends for each other. But we both know this relationship won’t go anywhere, instead we see our relationship as special,even though not as lovers but we promise we’re gonna be in each other’s life forever.

    • dude says:

      This almost seems like my own situation with my step daughter. There is no sexual attraction. I’m glad because that might make it all very strange. Still, I have gorwn to love her deeply. Maybe more than anyone else I have ever known. I can’t imagine not being a part of her life or her not being apart of mine. We have a special connection that almost can’t be described.

  18. IndyRacer57 says:

    I can tell you I do understand. We are really in love with each other. Love that most people will never have. We are best friends and know each other inside and out. Like I said, if you choose to further the relationship it can be hard. But you can not let what other people think or say about the relationship. I wish you the best in the future.

    • Steph says:

      I bet you’re really ugly, even her kids

      • IndyRacer57 says:

        I bet your are ugly. Why would you say someting like that unless you have no life and have nothing left to do? Btw time is getting closer, six more days and she is moving in with me. She is the true love of my life and I hers. Most people have excepted the fact that we are going to be together, not matter what.

  19. JCM81 says:

    well it is realy scary how this cases have ben goin more and more unfortunaly is the result of uor father and grandfather bac in 60-80 the ravolution realy have not idea the efect there are hapening now and realy it is hare to judge you dut becouse like you say youall both adult and can take of youself if u let me with all my respect will like to tall you to look after god he will not judge you open you hart to hem and this ladie you relation bouth togeter and god will give you the best uwnser kep going after all you are not with her mom and you relation star after you split of her right? we all have a dark side in and sometimes peaple only see they side like some one above wish you the best in life but remember don’t forget !!!!GOD JESUSCHRIST!!!!!!HE THE THAT CAN BRING PACE TO YOU 2 LIFE

  20. Kait Sawrey says:

    Hi,

    I’m a radio journalist with triple j (www.triplej.net.au) and I’m putting together a piece on family secrets.

    I think this is a really interesting topic, and certainly there’s a lot of ethical grey area but I’m not about judging people.

    If you’re interested in contributing to the show (anonymously) I’d love to hear from you: sawrey.kaitlyn@abc.net.au

    Best wishes,

    Kait

  21. IndyRacer57 says:

    Well she has been here for six days now and everything is going great. We are working together on the house that my x left a mess in. It is great to have someone that will work with you instead of working against you all the time. Everyday is just like the first, even with two kids to get under foot.

    • annonnnn says:

      bet you any money…. if one of the kids is a girl that when she gets into her teens you’ll be lusting after her too. get a life grampa

  22. shauna says:

    you can love her without bein like that think of her not urself because she is ur daughter in life an u will regert that u done this so injoy her as ur lil daughter not the way u are know but i would knock it of.

  23. IndyRacer57 says:

    uh sorry but she is now living with me and we are getting along great. Love to spend every minute of the day and night together. Making plans for the future together even marriage when the time comes.

    • Xiz says:

      I have to say I am very concerned for you ex and your stepkids/grandkids. I am truly a very openminded person, but this gives me the creeps.

  24. JealousOfIndy says:

    I am very happy for you Indy. My step-daughter & I fell in love about a year ago but she left me when I suggested we move in together about 3 months ago. She’s now dating another guy and keeps saying to me I’m her best friend, we may get back together, she holds my hand with every chance she gets but it’s so hard watching her go out with him. I’m tearing up inside and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this pain.

    I sincerely congratulate you and wish you all the best for the future

  25. IndyRacer57 says:

    I know, it can be painful but there is only one thing you can do at this time. Be there for her and just maybe you will get her back. I too went though this and I was there at the right time. There was a time that I refused to even contact her because of my feelings. Those were the longest 13 years I have ever spent. My problem was I could not get her out of my head while I was in other relationships. We are still hanging in there and so far, we are happy together.
    Best of luck to you

    • missberryC says:

      I’m very happy for you. My stepfather and I are so in love with each other. No guy ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. We’re best friend for each other. The problem is he’s still married with my mother. My mother never makes him happy, she’s very selfish and never understand him. I don’t understand at all why she would treat him like crap when he’s like the most amazing person I’ve ever met. We became more intimate about a year ago. Last week we decided to stop this relationship, cause we think my mom’s being suspicious. She doesn’t deserve the pain if she finds out whats going on between us. It hurts me really bad knowing that I cant be with the man I love. I can’t even be close to him anymore, cause my mom told her family about how it looks like I love my stepdad than my own mother, so it makes me look bad. No one in the worl dwould understand what I feel, I’d give up anything if I could be with him without hurting anyone, but I know it’s impossible. I cry everynight and can’t stop thinking about him. THe hardest part is I still see him a lot, it’s not like I can try to avoid him.
      Knowing that you’re happily living together with your stepdaughter brings a smile to my face. I wish I could have the life that you have right now :)
      I wish all the best for you two!

  26. Krysz says:

    I’m glad to learn that some stories of the kind, like yours, may have a happy ending. I can understand you so well as the so called stepdad curse has stricken me too. I was fool enough to tell my SD what I felt for her, but she didn´t accept it and told it to a lot of people – my wife, her boyfriend, a nephew of mine and some other family members included. She began to avoid me, treating me like dung whenever she could and was considering moving away. I was nearly destroyed by all that, but had my vengeance: as I was spying on her MSN, mail and Skype, I had lots to tell and show her BF and a lot of family members about the big

    • Anonymous says:

      uh so you’re saying you ruined your step daughter’s life because she was freaked out that her older “father” wanted her sexually?

      way to go, you’re sick.

  27. anthony says:

    she hates me. she has left. i am now totally alone. don’t feel like going on. guess i’ll just have to wait on death. i’m sorry to her and angry and hurt and i just don’t care about anything any longer.

  28. Doll Face says:

    I am eighteen and becoming aware of the world of romance. My father warned me that men would be attracted to me because of my looks, my age… And that some men would cheat. That men are not the most devoted of creatures. Men cannot be monogamous.
    I didn’t want to believe him, because I believe human beings are basically good, but little by little, I have been realizing the truth of his words. You fell in love with a woman, married her, then became attracted to her daughter (who is probably much younger than you, pretty and interesting because of her age). If I were her, I would be thinking only of the pain my mother must be going through- of seeing her husband fall for her daughter. I would also lose hope for my own future. How am I to ever find true love, if the man I choose will eventually pine after somebody younger? Somebody more innocent and believing?
    You sound very romantic. I believe you when you say you are in love. But you will fall in love with somebody else, then another, and another. Men are such fickle creatures. I have lost all hope of finding unending love, because of these types of situations.
    You are a human being. Control your emotions and leave your wife. You are in an impossible situation. Yes, one life to live and no regrets- but living life to its fullest does not entitle you to ruin other lives. I believe women can fall truly in love, but men live only under a temporary illusion.
    I will never marry.
    Sorry for the long post.
    (By the way- I love your writing style. You sound just like Humbert Humbert from Lolita- no offence, of course. I just mean to say you write with the same passion as Nabokov).

  29. IndyRacer57 says:

    You bring out some interesting points. But, you are wrong on a couple. I will never fall out of love for her. That has been one of the problems, I never have. I will Never cheat on her because I care to much for her. I believe that there is still tension between her, her mother and myself. But again, Her mother knows how we feel for each other and says that we should be together. We have not had one disagreement since she moved back in. Oh yes she has gotten disturbed with me but I was 100% my fault. We work together on projects. It does not take money to make us happy together. For the people we know, we are very open about our relationship. Some approve, some don’t. Other people does not come between us.

  30. simple says:

    eh. watch out. the power dynamic is unbalanced here.

    just my honest opinion, if I were your stepdaughter I would be creeped out by reading this post.

  31. IndyRacer57 says:

    Your not and she agrees with everything I have posted here. There is not a day goes by that we do two thing together, laugh and say I love you.

  32. Anonymous says:

    I suggest you leave your family…because you could hurt your wife so deeply…and I’m sure your daughter doesn’t feel the same way…How old is she? 15 or something??? Believe me I know how

  33. Anonymous says:

    if you truly sense all this deep crap in her voice that longs for you, why not try making a move and see what happens? It sounds like this is what you want right? just divorce your wife, and if you are so sure she wants you, then you two can get married, it’s obviously worth it since you are tormented by the thought of never seeing her right? you’re reduced to tears and all that? The fact that you’re even thinking about her says to me that your relationship with your wife isn’t good and if you are any kind of man you will divorce her immediately and spend the rest of your life with a super hot 18 year old girl…..oh please tell me she’s hot..

  34. Indyracer57 says:

    Yes I think she is hot. And she is 28, almost 29. Marry? Not for awhile yet because we want to make sure that it is right. Divorce should be final next April. We are doing fine in our relationship and have been living with each other and her two kids for some five months now. We have not had a real argument since we have been together. She has become a little disturb with me a few time but what do you expect, she is female.

  35. leo says:

    My story: im in my middle 20s, i started living together with this woman that has a daughter, she is 35 years old, i have lived with them since 5 years ago, i met her doughter when she was 12 years old, she has been my step daughter since that time, now that she is 18, and also that she looks cute and has nice feelings, i feel confused with my feeling toward her, since some time ago i have felt that i love her as a woman and not as a daughter, we are really good friends and we can talk about anything including sex with no problem, sometimes i feel like she tease me, she touches me like teasing me, i know she feel something too but she scared of shiwing it or i dont know, i have dreamed of her lots of time, i dont want to sound like a pevert but i really like her as a woman. what should i do, i know i dont love her mom anymore and im still with her mom for just being nice and dont want to hurt her. please respond, thanks

    • disgusted says:

      I think u should get on your knees and pray everytime u get to having these feelings. That is nothing but the devil trying to tempt you. And if u do not want her mother you should leave. You may think of it as being nice but in reality you are stopping the mother from finding someone who does want to be with her. Also I think you should limit your contact with the daughter. You should also read KJV Bible if you don’t already. Study Gods word and pray and you will overcome this situation.

      • SumYunGuy says:

        The bible is as much of a distraction as watching TV or playing video games. It’s a guidebook to how people should live their lives in good values. Not everyone can buy into that. Why do so many people think that is the solution to every problem?? I’ve been there & tried that personally, but only feel like it’s a pathetic attempt to brainwash what a person truly feels inside. It’s one thing to believe something yet uncontrollably feel another. Nobody can tell you what to do or make any decisions for you. I’m putting myself in the same predicament, only by the time my step-daughter is 18; I will have spent 14 years caring for, raising and loving her. I know how uncontrollable the desires can be. I also know how if feels to somewhat be lead on by comments and suggestions from her. However, I was 18 once and even as a male I was vulnerable and irrational in thinking I knew what I wanted. She may look up to you now and think she wants something more, but when she matures and really ages, she will regret making that decision as a mistake. You know deep down it is wrong, that is why you are asking and seeking approval here… she’ll feel the same when she gets older and in turn will look back & realize that you as the adult should have been responsible and mature enough not to let anything wrong happen. Again, it’s your choice and you can do what you want but realize what the consequences may be after the fact. What is the worst that can happen because it most likely will…

  36. Perhaps says:

    Perhaps it is the devil… However, I haven’t seen mention from anyone who has lived or visited outside the US. You see this is quite common in other parts of the world ~ and much more. It seems as though those who are able to so deeply criticize are quite narrow minded and unaware.
    We are human. Love is the most powerful emotions we possess. Through the dynamics of humanity, we have continued to exist. We are as diverse as there are leaves on a tree. Every man does what he believes is true & righteous in his heart. If he is incorrect in his beliefs, he will pay the price… no matter what the cost. Each situation is as unique as the individuals involved. The truth will be found…

  37. don'tbelieveit says:

    Read the bible, you say? That’s a great idea. Read the bit about Lot and his daughters. The part where Lot’s daughters get him drunk and have their way with him so they can conceive and carry on the family. I can’t stand these religious fanatics who believe the lie and tell others they need to pray. They are forcing their own will that way. Religion was invented by man to enslave his fellow man. The bible is a work of fiction. It is a very sexist book. Right from Adam and Eve the authors always blamed Women. How about Job’s wife? and Lot’s wife? and all the other parts in the bible where women were treated subservient to men. Makes me wonder how any woman can fall for the fallacy that is religion. I say that, and I am a man myself. I was fooled once by religion but I won’t be fooled again, ever. Religion is the number one reason for all the misery and suffering of people throughout history and it never stops. There are many stories in the bible about rape, incest, slavery, torture and murder. And what did God say? Well, he said that Lot was a very righteous man. Then Lot offered up his own daughters to the evil men of Sodom so they wouldn’t rape him. Yes, read the bible. Find out the truth about the big lie that religion is based upon. As for this “forbidden love” hey, as long as two consenting adults love each other, then more power to you. I wish I had what you have, Indyracer57. Please enjoy what you have. Don’t listen to anyone they are just jealous and would do the same thing if given the chance.

    • Ronald says:

      I will pray for you.

    • Anonymous says:

      That’s because they are dummy. Don’t get mad because God made a women from a mans rib and said this is women flesh of your flesh . She is mans helper. After all God never spoke to Eve. Women were made to keep men from being alone and nothing else sorry bout your luck. You have no power. If you do keep yourself from dying and going to Hell for rejection God and His word.

  38. Broken says:

    I am in love with my 24 year old ex step-daughter. I know it is wrong and a betrayal of her trust and have been trying to suppress these feelings but they are on my mind constantly. I am starting to believe that the love that I feel is a mixture of fatherly love and an addiction to oxytocin.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin

    My ex wife has no real capacity to show affection and over the past few years my step-daughter and I have been filling the void left by this. I rub her feet and back and get a great deal of pleasure from this (emotional) not sexual.

    The other night I was partying with a friend and my step-daughter skyped me and my friend saw her and was saying that she was hot. I got extremely ill rational and jealous. I thought I had ended the skype call and told my friend how I loved and am in love with my step-daughter as a woman. Well evidently I had ended the video part of the call but not the audio and my step-daughter and her husband over heard me.
    Now I believe I may have destroyed my relationship with my step-daughter , her husband and my Grand daughter.
    I can’t stop crying and this is weighing so heavily on my mind. Can I ever get them back?

  39. There is no such thing as love.

    • SumYunGuy says:

      This is true. We only think and tell ourselves that we love somebody or something. We are purely born to live and survive… not love. Love is a matter of choice and thought, just as believing in god. Love is about as psychological as lust or sexual desire.

  40. Dosnet matter says:

    That was amazing. I am in lve with my stepdad to hes 34 and im…. 14 yes its bad but you no what, if its love age doesnt have to mean a thing. My situition is harder though, my mom found out and went to the police. So its being a hard time for me right now I dont have the love of my life anymore I feel like my family hates me but wont say anything. If you feel like you really want to spend your whole life with her, tell her!

    • Indyracer57 says:

      The ball is in your court dear. If you say nothing happen, then their hands are tied. Unless there is some evidence on tape or pictures, they only have your word on it. Just because you lived with him does not mean that anything happen between the two of you. Hang in there

      • missberryC says:

        Hi Indyracer57, just want to know how is it going for you and your stepdaughter. I hope everything is going well for you!

        • Indyracer57 says:

          Thanks. It has been six months now that she moved in. Everything is going great. We have settled in with the kids (and her mother). Planning a week-end this week end for that special day in Feb. Agian thanks for asking.

          • missberry says:

            Thanks for replying! Knowing that u guys are doing great is such a fresh air to me. My stepdad n I love each other but there’s no way that we can be together without hurting people. It gives me some kind of hope for me, never know what could happen in the future :)
            I’m looking forward to hear more from u, n just ignore what people say! It’s your life and you should pursue your own happiness.

    • Amy says:

      If you can wait until you are 18 then it won’t be a problem. Right now it’s a he said, she said, and they have no evidence without you. So try to reconcile your thoughts and live with them without acting until you are legal …

    • annonnnn says:

      ever heard the saying ” age is just a number. so is 999 pedo” yeh that applies to you!

      you are a child. you don’t know what love is. most adults don’t even understand it.

      you’ve got a simple crush. it’s natural at your age.

      it’s probably best you aren’t near him tho. it will only lead to a sick, twisted and awkward relationship. get over it!

  41. If you love your family member and you think it’s wrong than get a hobby and quit checking them out. If you want to pursue this relationship than look past the rules and express your thoughts. Just love.
    I have a question to any of you who are in love with a family member… Do any of you have kind of um an incest fetish? I feel like I kind of do and I wish I had a step father I could love unconditionally even though it’s taboo.

  42. Amy says:

    Well, she is not a blood relative and is an adult, so it’s not illegal or wrong.

    However, she might not share the feeling. What I would do is sit down with her in a neutral location, and have an honest conversation. You can tell her the truth about your feelings, but it needs to be done without touching or lovey-dovey language that might make her uncomfortable. Then you ask her about her feelings, in a non-confrontational way. What you interpret as one thing may be quite another, and I’d hate for that to get confused.

    If you are still married, you really need to resolve that relationship first. It’s not healthy or fair to leave someone hanging.

  43. Another Step Father... says:

    So I’ve come across this website from a Google search. I too am becoming a part of the predicament in which my feelings and desire for my step-daughter is deepening. I’m worried. It’s not something that I can control and I don’t know what to do about it. This apparently is something more common than I realized. I tell myself that it is not right and I know it is not okay. I realize how innocent and unfair to her it would be to pursue or act upon anything, but psychologically I cannot control the thoughts that fill my mind. I know that I would never touch or harm her in anyway. I just want the thoughts to stop and go away. I’m too scared to seek help for fear that I may be exposed and lose everything that I have. I do love her mother very much and we have a great relationship, however I have feelings towards her daughter that just aren’t normal. After reading some of the comments here, those with such harsh words and blame are helping nothing and nobody. We cannot control what we think or feel. It is almost as instinctual as breathing and it comes down to how we act upon those feelings or ensuring that we DO NOT act upon any thoughts or feelings. I know that posting this leaves yet another subject for negative comments and objection, but for those who actually understand… you are not alone. I’m looking for any anonymous support groups in hopes that talking about this issue will help. Good luck to any other step-father with the same situation.

    • ghost says:

      I hope you found what you are looking for.
      If you need to talk…if any of you need to talk…reply to my post and I’ll give an e-mail address. It is nice to know I’m not alone. I geuss misery loves company, eh?

    • some dude says:

      it’s ok to go to a psychotherapist for help. Go ahead. It will be a relief to tell someone.

  44. ricky says:

    I understand what he is going threw cause I’m in the same situation. I also have a stepdaughter and I’m deeply in love with her. We been having a sex relationship for about 2 yrs. I love her dearly. People will never understand cause they are not in our shoes. All I have to say is follow your heart. If she wants to stay with u go for it I don’t see a problem. Good luck.

    • Shell says:

      how old are you and how old is your stepdaughter? do you realize how many people will be HURT and how you will be hated if this gets found out? and it WILL get found out if you continue.

      • Indyracer57 says:

        Shell, we are not hiding. There were a few that was upset at first.Who is this going to hurt? Some think that it is unusual with the age different. I am 65 in April and she is now 29. Her mother, (my ex) is living with us. Unusual? yes but unheard of. No there is no contact between her mother and me so don’t even go there.
        And there are those who says she is just there for the money. My reply to them is she has always been in my will. I am in a shape that no one HAS to work if they do not want to. But I keep reminding them that I will be gone someday.

    • Indyracer57 says:

      You just might be suprised at who will except your relationship. We have had no one say a thing to us. I am 65 she is 30.

  45. ghost says:

    I know only too well this story. I fell in love with my step-daughter long ago. I was 21, married to an older woman and her daughter tried so hard to reach out to her but she could not.

    I know the pain. 15 years have passed us by and I still feel…so much pain.

    There were times it seemed so blatant that she felt for me too. Times when she went out of her way to arouse me, tease me…seek comfort from me. Always though just a step out of reach. I could never be sure and it caused great distress. I could not in the end, continue that life of torment. The mother who was addicted and cold and the daughter who was so completely opposite and yet we all were damaged.

    So many years ago. The wounds I still bare, wounds that will never heal. I love her, still. Only her do I love so completely. And I am damned for that love. She haunts me.

    We spoke over e-mail for the last time after I had resettled. I told how much better my life was and how I was sorry, but I never could tell her…how much I love her. I ran so far away I could never be found and she did too. And we have never spoken again, and ….I fear if I saw her today, it would crush me. Crush me beneath the weight of guilt, of desire, of love and a what feels a thousand years of suffering.

    • IndyRacer57 says:

      There are some things that one can not run from. Love is one of them. We too, kept apart for some years. I was never able to get her out of my mind or heart. But the main thing is we are happy once in our life. I would change nothing.

  46. some dude says:

    look at it realistically. It’s just an infatuation. She is young and beautiful and you are a man so you are naturally attracted to her beauty. BUT…she is your wifes daughter…your step daughter your role is as a Dad and Father…no more. Do not linger in the fantasy of making love to her. It will eat you up and consume you and destroy life as you know it.
    It’s tough…believe me I know. But controlling your demons and passions is a big part of overcoming you emotions.
    It’s all about control. Control yourself and distract yourself. STOP giving her the eye. THAT eye you feel she’s giving you back is the illusion of what you feel for her. She looks up to you..like a daughter loves a Dad…do not ruin it. Ok?

  47. I feel for the man, I too have these feeling that no one understands. But my feelings did not surface till recently.
    I have been divorced from her mother for 14 years she was 15 now she is 29 and a very remarkable woman her inner beauty takes my breath away. My problem is I feel consumed by my feelings for her all of a sudden. She keeps flirting with me sexually and I try to ignore it, but it is very difficult. I have been by myself an my 2 kids for the last 14 years. I have not had any relationships to speak of and my stepdaughter knows this. She tells me that we have a special bond that no one can take away. I have never toucher in any way whats so ever except a hug or a peck on the cheek. She rubs her self on me and I am trying to ignore it. She also sits provocitively so that I see things I shouldn’t. I am beside myself and afraid of what might happen between her and I. She has now been around for the last 2 years and still nothing has happened yet but I know it is about to, and I will except it and run with it. I love her so very much. Lost in love

  48. some dude says:

    I too have extremely attarctive step daughters.20 and 25 , It’s like living with the girls next door. One looks like Kendra and the other like Holly. BUT guess what?!
    Control your urges. PERIOD! Never let up for an instant. Do not say or do anything dumb.
    Keep your eyes on their eyes and don’t look them over. NEVER say anyhthing inappropriate. Once you’ve mastered these tough skills…everything will become easier. Good thing for me they moved out.

  49. So this weekend I found the courage to tell my ex-stepdaughter how I felt. She welcomed it news with open arms, and told me she knew already. She was wondering how come it took me so long to tell her. I explained myself and she said everything will be okay. She said she loves me even more for being honest with her and not trying anything with her when she was young and while I was married to her mother. She said we can work through this and not to worry as long as I do not act weird about it. Am happy I told her what a relief.

  50. IndyRacer57 says:

    One year anniversary is coming up July 18. We are getting along great. Still in love as we were to start with years ago. Some of these relationships can and will work out. Doing great.

  51. That girl says:

    I’ve been reading all of this to figure out how to deal with a step dad being attached to you (I’m pretty young). The only thing that I found here is good reasons why when I have children I should become a lesbian or just never date a guy again. >.> shiiiiiiit

  52. some dude says:

    Don’t worry that girl. Statistically the ratio of this happening is relatively low. Don’t become a man hater because of a few bad apples.

  53. step dad says:

    I married my step daughters mother when sd was 23 and married. Over time and with great determination I have fought the urge to flirt back with her when she flirts with me. Now that she is in her mid 30′s she has moved back in with her mother and I. Mother and I have not had an intimate relationship in almost 5 yrs, the flirting now is getting harder to ignore, she is a very sexy woman and she will flirt with me every chance she gets, even to the point of walking out of her room when I am getting ready for work in a robe that is partially open and I can see she has nothing on under neath it. I am really fighting the urge to take her up on what she is offering, it would sure be nice to hold a woman in my arms again and have real sex instead of masterbation all the time. what should I do????

  54. horrified says:

    You are sick and in need of counseling. Your thoughts and behavior are completely inappropriate, and this is a traitorous route you are comtemplating. Of COURSE a young girl is beautiful, and now when she is a beautiful woman, you can’t control yourself? Get over it, get to a doctor, get help before you ruin your life and the life of others.

  55. sputnik sweetheart says:

    Okay … I am now officially creeped out.

  56. Dear Step Dad says:

    She is not flirting nor was she ever flirting. It is a product of your imagination. The young woman is merely comfortable and trusts you. You should seek therapy or counseling. Ok….please do yourself a favor before you ruin your life and everyone regards you as a freak or weirdo…you’ve already opened your self up to the above two posters…just go get help.

  57. Some Dude says:

    Dear step Dad..don’t ruin your life. The girl is not flirting with you. She is merely comfortable around do not creep her out with advances. I suggest therapy. You …need it.

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