RSSLost without her
I haven’t seen her, not really, not more than a passing glimpse or work-related conversation, in two weeks. We’ve only had a few short telephone conversations and exchanged some hurried text messages. I tried to arrange a meeting sometime in the last two days, but it hasn’t worked out. Our spouses have gotten in the way.
It’s probably best that we didn’t meet, that she didn’t call. Ultimately, this is my problem. I’ve got to figure it out myself somehow.
They separated us at work, said we were spending too much time together. Since then, I haven’t been sleeping well. Nothing seems right. She said in a text that she finds work to be a lonely place without me. I find my entire life lonely without her, completely devoid of anything good or right or worthwhile–it’s meaningless. I love her. I miss her. It’s as simple and as complicated at that. I haven’t gotten over her, though I’ve been trying for years. I’ve only fallen harder, deeper. Not realizing it, I had been living for those few scattered minutes with her throughout the work day, when I could look into her eyes, touch her hand, kiss her cheek, hear her voice, her laugh. I’ve died a little bit every time she said that she loved me too, knowing that she didn’t mean it in the same way that I do, and that she’d never say it first.
Now they’ve taken what little bit of her I had in my life away from me, and I’m lost. I don’t know what to do or how to get beyond it. Every day without her is more painful than the one before. If I say anything to her, as I almost did–that’s why I wanted to meet her yesterday and today–it would probably finish what they started and drive her out of my life completely because our jobs and our families are too important, aren’t they?
Doc on November 18th 2007 in Love
Doc said on 19 Nov 2007 at 10:48 pm # Quote
She read this. I directed her to it. I had to know if she was experiencing anything remotely similar.
Her response? “You know that I’m not your answer. I value your friendship and won’t do anything to jeopardize that.”
You could said on 20 Nov 2007 at 3:12 am # Quote
try to honor your vows to your wife and she can also.
writer said on 21 Nov 2007 at 11:26 pm # Quote
Hi, well you really don’t “have her” at all and what you do have, your risking.
Including your work and your home life… it’s funny how guys always say “what we had” I never totally get that. What matters is, what you HAVE and that’s the only thing that’s real.
You pretty much suck in my opinion and are seriously feeling sorry for yourself here. Speaking for myself, I don’t feel drawn to men who are whining about love while they have other responsibilities at home and work, which should be the priorities. Wives deserve better than you. Love doesn’t take priority over doing what’s right. Annnd, if she wanted you? You’d be together, so I think you can figure this one out all by your sad self.
Nothing is more unattractive, than a man who sneaks around, doesn’t live up to his responsibilities and whines about the bad deal he has…
Sorry if this seems harsh, I’m sort of ticked off at men at the moment and you’d be one of them.
reader said on 25 Nov 2007 at 12:50 pm # Quote
…ouch ! piercing words, Writer…Suck it up, Doc! Go and romance your wife ’til you fall in love with her again, buddy!
Tr said on 01 Jan 2008 at 7:38 am # Quote
I can totally understand what you say even though I would sympathize with your wife as well but sometimes people just make a deciosion and then someone else comes along who you feel you would give up everything - and I think it is one of those most beautiful feelings life is worth living for - even though they might not lead anywhere and tehre is no way it will work out - but I can totally and wholeheartedly understand and empathize with you - I have been there myself (or if not completely in the same situation but in a similar one). All I can wish is a happoer new year however that comes along.