Its not love and I cant believe it ever was
Posted by Anonymous in Love on Jun 24th, 2010 | 8 commentsI have been in an abusive relationship for a year, I felt as if I cant leave. It started with yelling and nasty words then escalated into shoving and kicking. I was not allowed to study. I cant have friends, and my family are alienated from me- under threat of more emotional and psychological abuse. He no longer needs to push me as the words are enough.
I look at myself now as I looked at girls that have been here before and ask “why don’t you leave? and why did you give it all up?” Because men like him, while he has very little else going for him, have a way of making you stay, trapping you, first with soft gentle words, then with pushing and shoving- until you have nothing left and can’t possibly be strong enough to leave. I never thought I would be one of these women.
I am going to leave one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, and my new life will be better without him.
8 Responses to “ “Its not love and I cant believe it ever was”
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why don’t you get out sooner rather than later? suppose, God forbid, you get pregnant or some other unseen obligation keeps you there!
i was in an abusive situation for 16 years, before that in a domineering abusive situation with my family of origin. i didn’t recognize that my marriage was abusive becuz i had so many issues. PLEASE get some help to get out, go to a shelter, they’ll protect you and not let him near you, they can assist you financially and or with housing. you sound like a smart girl, once you’re away from him, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll begin to find yourself and grow and stay away from men until you are secure within yourself!
i know exactly what your going through and im telling you leave now while you can because it will only get worse. my relationship started off how yours is and then resulted in me getting strangled and punched. i know its hard to have the strength to leave but i really do hope you can find it before you end up like me.
I’m glad your leaving him. So many Women get trapped in these abusive relationships and are too scared to leave. Men like this will destroy your self esteem, and make you feel worthless. It is there way of controling you, so you won’t leave. I’m glad your leaving, and I hope you find a nice guy, who treats you well. Good luck. :)
First take pictures of the bruises and make sure to have the police have documents of the abuse. Then leave and get a restraining order and a gun for protection. Move in with family and always make sure to have someone walk you to your car and have someone greet you when you get home. This way is something was to happen you will have help. Staying will only result in getting murdered.
I was also in an abusive relationship. It startged out JUST LIKE yours…the harsh words, then pushing and shoving etc. Eventually, I would rather get hit than hear the stuff he used to say to me. But, after 5 years I finally wised up and left him. It was hard at first becuase he would leave me voicemails, texts messages, notes on my car about how he couldnt live without me and he was so sorry, and stuff would change. blah blah blah….I’d heard it all before. You have to CUT ALL TIES. Ignore the calls, everything. It didnt take as long as you would think before I was completely over him. I was scared before I left that I would be alone and nobody would love me again. But I got over it. You will too. Leave him and DONT LOOK BACK!
Do it for yourself…nobody deserves that.
plase dont be the net victom of phisically and mentaly abuse care for ur self save your self and get out he only will hurt you a man will never change his ways he will be satisfied till he sees you in a box under ground.
To “Anonymous in love”. I know it’s been a while since you wrote your confession, but I just wanted to say that I sure hope you left your abusive boyfriend. No one deserves to be treated like that and if you stay with him, I can guarantee that it will slowly “eat” you up from inside and finally you will probably feel that you don’t exist anymore and don’t care if you die tomorrow. Please don’t let this happen to you…because I’ve been through the same situation. Confide in someone and tell them about your situation.. I wish you could tell us here what happened since your confession? Best of luck