I’m in love with a married man
Posted by Anonymous in Love on Aug 1st, 2010 | 21 commentsWe met online quite by chance… we were friends for almost 2 years then it turned romantic. I would never tell him but I wish he would leave his wife for me…I realize this is a foolish hope. He’s been with her 30-something years and he lives in another state. Ever feel like someone is your soul mate?? So unfair he belongs to someone else. And yes I know I will probably be the loser in this if it ever comes down to a choice. I will probably end up with a broken heart. I am divorced so nothing holding me back. But for now… I just love him! :)
21 Responses to “ “I’m in love with a married man”
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Destroying 30 years of another womans love and dedication, poisoning HIS life at the coming end of it, and ruining BOTH of thier lives. Because you didn’t meet him first. What would be “fair” is if you were mauled by a pack of wild dogs. What a despicable piece of trash you are.
Wow….I feel sorry for YOUR spouse. You sound like a bitter angry person. I’m actually sorry for you, too.
lol You act like I did this all by myself. Believe me, the marriage was dead and destroyed long before I came along. You want to hate me because I am in love with a married man? Fine. Go right ahead hate me for that. But blaming ME for “destroying” his marriage? Not going to accept that. He is a WILLING participant and indeed he pursued ME in this and that is on him not me. What goes on between him and his wife is between him and her and I cannot be blamed for it. What happens in their marriage is up to him and between him and his wife. I accept responsibility for my part in getting involved in a relationship with someone who isn’t free; it is not my fault their marriage isn’t working. He’s not innocent in this and again I reiterate he is a WILLING participant.
Is it not the husband’s fault for having straying eyes and being unfaithful as well? It takes two to tango, honey.
if you are not happy in a marriage you will stray
i have fallen in love with a married man i feel so stupid but he feels the same
Wow may you be judged as harshly as you judge others. Are you so perfect?
its not ur fault u fell in love with him… and if everything was right at home he wouldnt have fallen for u…. people judge others when they have nevered walked in ur shoes. i wish there was a way i could talk to u more ( in prvte) good luck with. and she didnt destroy 30yrs. u dont know whats going on in his home to make him even talk to another women. u dont know his wife… did she cheat on him, is she “cold” and unloving twards him? is she a drunk? did he stay with her all these years cuz of the kids?
Thank you for your support…I don’t plan on allowing him to destroy 30 plus years of marriage. I keep encouraging him to get counseling, there is of course much much more to the story. Unlike the above poster, these things DO happen and I certainly did not intend for it ever to go this direction. I certainly didn’t go after him, or intend to destroy his marriage. I am only responsible for my own actions and I cannot control his nor do I attempt to sway him one way or another. I think that had his marriage been good there is no way this could have happened. At any rate thank you. :)
i wish there was a way i could talk to u in prvte…. ppl judge others when they dont know whats going on… there has to be something wrong at home for him to even talk to another woman. is she a drunk? is she cold and unloving twards him? has he only stayed this long cuz of the kids?
If there’s something wrong at home, he should try to fix it with his wife. Finding solace in another women makes his problems at home worse and impossible to even address – because all of his effort and time and emotional energy are going into the other woman. The result is three people in limbo, and in pain. While his wife is left wasting her life on a man who isn’t committed to working on the problems. His WIFE will be ruined by the one man who should be protecting her and caring about her… Or at least showing her a little respect for putting up with him for so long. Instead, she’s being used by him like a maid and servant while he plays around with some 2 bit whore.
How anyone can sympathize with either of them is beyond logic. They’re both acting selfishly at the expense of his wife who doesn’t even know what’s going on. Whatever her crimes against him are, she doesn’t deserve THAT.
she may not deserve it but u cant blame anybody til u know whats going on. the wife amy have cheated on him, she may have drove him to where he is today. we dont know …. have u ever knowen somebody that treated their partner like shit? we all know a couple that we think “if i was him/her, i wouldnt put up with the way he/she treats him/her” as sad as it is to say i wished my dad was having an affair on my mom, she was a bithc to him and she never gave him sex (i know that cuz my parents room was next to mine and i would always hear my mom telling him “not 2nite”… when i got into my teens i asked my dad why he stayed with her and his reply was he couldnt just see us kids every other weekend. so my father stayed in an unhappy marriage til the day he died (age 56) cuz of his kids….. so u cant judge them, and just cuz she didnt meet him first is no reason to tare her apart. u heart cant help who it falls for. aand like i said there is something wrong at home for him t fall for someone else… a happy man wouldnt be talking to another woman if his wife took care of him. i work w alot of married men, we laugh and bs all day, u can tell the happy married ones and u can tll the unhappy one just by the way they talk to me…and again they stay cuz of the kids…. i know men that retired but came back to work cuz they dont want to be at home with their wives.. they come back to work full time (in their 60′s) so they font have to be with thier wives…..
Well at least you “get” it. I understand that you think what I am doing is wrong and I can respect that, because you are seeing things fairly and clearly. You also place equal blame on him as well as me. So far, out of my critics you are the only one that sees things as they really are. Yes it’s a messed up situation, but he is as much to “blame” in this situation as I am, and shares and equal part in what we are doing. His marriage was bad or he never would have been drawn to me and unlike other commenters seem to think, I didn’t deliberately go out and try to destroy his marriage. What goes on between him and his wife is their business and I don’t even attempt to place blame on her head or his head — I don’t think she’s the innocent victim in this either, but I honestly don’t know her so I can’t make that judgement. All I can be responsible for is my participation in a relationship with him.
Calling me a “2 bit whore” is a bit out of line, however; you don’t know me and have absolutely no information about whether or not I’m a whore. You don’t have to like me or what I’m doing but name calling isn’t necessary. I haven’t called you or any of my other critics a narrow-minded tight ass, now did I? *wink*
Selfishly? Really? You think it’s selfish to cry for someone every night? To wonder how in the world you allowed yourself to go “there”?
I too am in love with a married man, and he IS in love with me. He got married out of convenience, and es, I feel for his wife in the way that he never should have married her. And yes, I met him before he got married; and I had no intention of ever getting involved with a married man. However, it happened and calling someone “despicable white trash” and hoping they get “mauled by a pack of wild dogs” is completely uncalled for. Unless you have been in this situation, you will never understand it. People are entitled to their opinions, but wishing someone harm isn`t going to change the facts. And I`m sure I can safely assume that there is so much more to the story than what was disclosed on here. Just as I know there is more to my story. Yes, the ending to these types of stories aren`t always what we as “mistresses” would hope, but there are those rare cases where it does work out.
Hi and thank you. Yes cold and unloving does describe the problem but only scratches the surface. There is much more to it and I won’t go into it here. But thank you for your kind comments.
If it has “turned romantic” it sounds like he needs to be honest with his wife. This does not mean that he needs to leave her, but he should let her know what is going on.
If it has turned romantic, then he is lying to her. Do you want to be a part of that?
I am not the one lying to her thus I am not participating in it. My involvement stops and starts with him. What he does or does not do in his marriage is up to him and him alone. I am single; he is not. All I can do is worry about my own behavior. If I decide that being the “other woman” isn’t something I want to do then I will end it. It is entirely up to him what he does with his life. He has chosen to pursue a romantic relationship with me and that is between him and her. My deciding to involve myself with him, in some people’s opinion, may make me a bad person. That’s fine; if people want to think I’m a bad person for getting involved with a married man is okay. They can think that. But for people to think I have some sort of control over their lives, their marriage, his lying to her, his not lying to her, is ridiculous. As I stated before, he’s a WILLING participant. Y’all act like I’ve plotted this all out, that I’ve mesmerized him somehow, and forced him into lying to his wife, that I’ve somehow “led him astray” that all was hunky dory and sweetness and light and perfect in their marriage until I came along and somehow got my claws into him and forced this poor innocent man into cheating on his spouse. Really?? I mean come on now. He went into this thing eyes wide open. THe lying and decption is on him not me.
This is the original poster and I have followed these comments with interest. I didn’t post this to get judged but I guess I was naive to think I wouldn’t be. At any rate there are circumstances in their marriage that I haven’t gone into here nor will I. I thank the person who has been sympathetic towards me and I don’t blame those who have judged me.
The only person whose behavior I can control is mine. I can’t control his feelings, his marriage, his wife or anything else. I am not the only one involved in this, he is too and his reasons for participating in this with me are on him and I don’t think I should be blamed for that. I will accept responsibility for my part in it, but he is equally a willing participant. I’m not some strumpet that set my cap for him and bamboozled him in to any of this. In fact it was HE who pursued ME romantically and I accept my part in it by allowing my feelings to go that way.
I have not, nor will I ever encourage him to leave his spouse. Thirty-plus years of marriage are worth saving and I continually encourage him to fix it. Believe me, had things been good in his marriage, he never would have developed feelings for me.
I think that this kind of thing can serve as a wake up call for all marriages out there, especially long-term ones that have gone stale from lack of attention. If this helps even one person decide to take a look at their own marriage and figure out how to reconnect with their spouse, then I would be glad.
As one of the commenters said, you don’t know until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes.
Thank you all for your comments, good and bad. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
its me again, the one that would like to talk to you in prvte. if i set up a seperate email and put it on here for u to reply to me, would you? i do feel for you and the position you are in. no one has a right to judge you cuz we all have done things in our life we are not proud of…. my husband of 14yrs decided to leave me for a 19yr old blonde he met at the gym… i ended up going to work for the first time in 12yrs after our marriage ended… then i met alot of ppl and found out what the real worl was like…. i tooo found out u cant help who you fall in love with…i found out how alot of spouses treat their spouses,a great deal of ppl i have met should not be togther. they are just living in misery and keeping themselves and their spouse form finding someone that can make them happy ;p good luck, i would like to talk to you if ur willing to.. u shouldnt have to got thru this alone and its not ur fault, ppl always want to blame the “other women” before they know the truth
I am married with 3 kids and in relationship with a married man with one kid. I feel so helpless and detested with friends but I know I love him and he loves me. He left his family for me. :(
I was in love with a ‘white’ man 30 years ago and had no choice but to marry someone else (middle eastern family background). I left suddenly and did not get chance to say goodbye or even to run away. I never stopped being in love with him and always wondered if he was doing well. Heartache is painful and his eyes were beautiful and I believe with every part of my being that he was my soulmate – my heart has never healed. He is married and we reconnected. I expected him to say that he was madly in love with his wife – he didn’t instead he told me he still had feelings for me after all those years. Life is strange and can seem unfair.