I’m a horrible person
Posted by Alostsheep in Love on Mar 3rd, 2011 | 7 commentsI’ve spent the past 8 months in an on/off fling with a truly wonderful woman. A purer soul there’s never been and now finally we’re officially in a comitted relationship. But there’s something I’ve never told her. There’s a woman that I’m madly in love with. I haven’t pursued her, because she’s spent most of the year thinking I’m kind of a jerk and hating me, and also because she has a boyfriend. I thought it was best to put her out of my mind and move on, which is why I’ve been pursuing my girlfriend. But ever since we made it official, something has felt really, truly wrong in the relationship. It’s not just me. I feel something weird coming off of her too. I do like my girlfriend and I want to make it work with her, but I can’t get the other woman out of my mind. It seems like ever since I started dating my girl, she’s warmed up to me, and we’ve become very good friends. It’s hard to stop falling in love with her. Impossible, even. But I don’t want to leave my girlfriend for something I know can’t be. But every time I talk to her, I catch myself thinking, hoping that maybe each time I make her laugh it’s an inch closer to her returning my affections. I try desperately to put the thought out of my mind, but I can’t. I feel like my soul is tearing itself apart. Infidelity isn’t an option, but whether I stay with my girlfriend or leave her, I won’t be being faithful to myself. Someone help me. I wish I could just ask God what He wants me to do, but I feel like He’s not answering me, and if He is, I’m not listening because I don’t like the answer. All I want is to do the right thing, but I don’t know what that is. Is it right to put the other girl out of my mind, so that I am not even unfaithful to my girlfriend in spirit? Is it right to leave her so that my soul can be free, but she will be heartbroken? I can’t go on like this, because it’s not right to be dating a woman as a way to kill time until the one you want is available.
7 Responses to “ “I’m a horrible person”
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This woman you are soooo in love with is either 1) playing with you, or 2)is now becoming friends with you because she thinks (incorrectly) you’ve lost interest in her and therefore she can have a platonic relationship with you.
She either likes manipulating you and having control over you, and now that she sees you’ve committed to someone else she’s going to try to win you back over.
Or, maybe she never had any romantic interest in you, but knew how you felt about her and kept her distance so as not to encourage you. Now that you have a girlfriend, she may figure you’ve moved on and she can establish a friendship with you.
Either way, it seems to me that this woman does not genuinely want to be with you the way you want to be with her.
Look, if you truly don’t think you love your girlfriend as much as she deserves, then by all means, let her go find someone who can. She sounds pretty great. It’s cruel to be with someone who, for whatever reason, you can’t love fully.
But don’t be surprised that once you’re single your other woman loses interest again. I think its time to let that one go, as hard as that may be.
Can’t do that when you see her all the time? Then stop seeing her, stop hanging out. This friendship you have just seems to be putting you in agony.
How ironic; something like this happened to me two days ago. I found out that my bf of a year and a half has been secretly chatting with this woman he met on an online dating site. They went out a couple of times. It never got serious with her, but she kept pursuing him, even after we got serious. I guess he got bored with me and decided to fish around and see what else was out there. Anyways, I found out and confronted him. He told me a year ago that he wasn’t dating other woman aside from me and wasn’t talking to other women. I guess he lied. Joke’s on me because I believed him.
So my recommendation to you is that what you’re doing isn’t fair to your current gf. If you are still thinking about another woman, then you’re better off doing your gf a favor and breaking it off. Maybe you’re just not ready to be in a serious, committed relationship with her. And that’s OK. You might just be too comfortable in your current relationship and afraid to let it go before you are sure you can get this other woman. Get out of that comfort zone and just be honest with yourself, because right now, you’re not being honest with your gf.
Just because someone is great doesn’t mean that you will be great together. I think that deep down, you recognize that your girlfriend is not the one because if she was, you wouldn’t be thinking about this other gal constantly. I agree with Anon, let her go. Don’t waste anymore of your time or her time in a relationship that will eventually end and be more painful for both.
How old is your punk azz? Grow the freak up and be happy with what you have.
Leave God outta this girlie boy. You need to realize this other woman will NEVER return any affection you feel towards her because obviously she thinks very little of you as a man.
You need to move on and realize she was never EVER meant to be with your punk azz.
Gezze…GROW UP!!!!!
I agree with saved and anon, your wasting each others time, if she meant that much to you you wouldnt be thinking or falling in love with as you put it with this other woman, be fait to your girlfriend sand set her free to find real love and happiness.
cant anyone be faithful and happy with who they have now a days? theres a reason that other woman doesnt want you, for one she has a man and two shes playing with your head she likes the attention and the fact someones drooling over her. why dont you realize that your girlfriend is the one who actually loves you.
does the word looser mean anything to you?
if you are not satisfied with current g/f you could leave… but not for a person who doesn’t return your love!