RSSI love my stepfather
I have grown up spending summers with my dad and the rest of the year with my stepfather and mother. I call my stepfather Dad and feel closer to him than I do with my real dad who is a drunk and a loser. I know I call him dad and he acts like a dad but I don’t understand why I love him like a person loves someone they love, not like a dad. Sometimes I think I wish my mom would leave and then I would be with him and he would want me to be like his wife then. I’m 21 now and still live at home. He has been my dad since I was 8 and I love him so much, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! when I hug him, I want to kiss him and go crazy but I don’t. I want to really touch him, but I don’t, I don’t feel closer to anyone but him! I want him to look at me like he loves me, but he looks at me like a dad would. Sometimes I hate my mom and am jealous of her. He understands me, no one understands me the way he does, I could be with him forever and be totally happy. I want to lean on him and watch movies every day. I want to bring him his coffee. I want to hear his ideas and have him read to me from his books of poetry. I want to be 10 again and have him teach me to swim, or take me to the father daughter dance again. I want him to look at me as a woman, not a daughter, and appreciate who I could be to him. I’m crazy assed in love with him!!!!!!!! I wear his sweatshirts and take his things so I can have something of his with me all the time. He says I’m beautiful, but the way a Dad would say it to his real daughter. Why can’t he have a moment of weakness and just love me back the same way!!!! WHY is it WRONG?!!!! I want him to burn for me! I feel like I could explode and just tell him everything I feel, would that ruin what we have? Would my mom hate me forever? I never want to move out, I never want to leave
Writer on November 4th 2007 in Love
Futurist said on 04 Nov 2007 at 4:51 pm # Quote
It is bad for the whole family and if you can’t snap out of it you may need professional help. Why can’t you go out and meet someone you can learn to love and stop thinking about your dad?
Maybe it would be good if you get a place of your own and learn to grow up.
writer said on 06 Nov 2007 at 12:48 am # Quote
I have always had boyfriends, I even have a boyfriend now. Trust me, I have tried to love other people. I wish you could understand what this is like!!! It’s like part of me, how can I “grow up” and discard my deepest parts? When I am away, all I can think about is getting back home and hearing his voice again
Futurist said on 07 Nov 2007 at 11:59 am # Quote
There is such a thing as maturity. If you are self indulgent and do not want to grow up, then I guess you will just give in, but part of being an adult is learning self-control. What if some guy saw you on the street and decided he wanted you? Would the fact that “he just couldn’t help himself”, excuse him for raping you?
Anonymous said on 08 Nov 2007 at 6:11 am # Quote
girl you are crazy!!!!!
Anonymous said on 09 Nov 2007 at 11:57 am # Quote
I dont think calling her crazy or immauture is any help, confessing her secret would have been hard! I think support is what she came to this website for, or a little realese from what she is fighting inside.
It may be a little wrong, and obviously you know this by keeping it a secret and not doing anything about it. But think about your mother, she already had a marriage that went no where and you ended up with a drunk father. Obviously she is happy now and feels as though you have a good life with a new father who can treat you like a father should.
You are 21, you have a lot of time to find someone to love like you feel as though you do your step father.
I wish you luck.
GG said on 09 Nov 2007 at 10:55 pm # Quote
It’s time to grow up girl. Thankfully your step-father is a wise man and would NEVER go for you! At least I hope so. Think of what it would do to your mother!! The whole family?? Be a grown-up and seek professional help and quit trying to ruin your parents relationship and the father-daughter relationship you have with your step-dad. It will all end in tears if you persue your obsession with him. I wish you the very best.
Anonymous said on 27 Nov 2007 at 5:55 am # Quote
Your feelings are completely natural. I understand all to well how difficult it is to feel as you do. Love is complicated and I would ignore people’s outraged comments and focus on the real questions. Not on how you two will be judged. How do you really think he feels? What effect would the two of you being together have on your family and friends? You may have to wait until your next lives to be together. For now, your feelings for him are natural and understandable to anyone who is “human”. You only need concern yourself with “actions”. I don’t think anyone can tell you much about what to do.
Desert-Man said on 23 Dec 2007 at 7:22 am # Quote
I do not think this a real love maybe you are impressed with your step-father’s charater and the way of thinking if not the way he looks like. My advice to you to mingle with more people to find someone matching your age and common interests. If you search well sure you will find. Good luck.
raven said on 31 Dec 2008 at 1:30 am # Quote
its ok. it happens all the time. he probably feels much the same way toward you, but because he loves you he has respect for you and would never put you in the sort of uncomfortable situation, and he loves your mom and wouldn’t want to hurt her or jeopardize his comfortable life. love is never normal. tv and common western myths can only teach you so much, but in reality we fall in love with people that we shouldn’t fall in love with all the time. its ok.
anon said on 01 Jan 2009 at 4:26 am # Quote
these are normal feelings you have. although you should see a professional about this. being that your biological father is a drunk, he probably never paid much attention to you that way a real father should. he was most likely never there for you when you needed him to be. so now that you have your stepfather, who does treat you like a daughter, you have these feelings for him. it all stems back from your real dad. you feel in love with him because he is loving you and gives you the attention you thrive for. see a professiona to sort out these feelings. if you can’t see him as your stepfather to control your feelings, see him as a happily man with children. good luck (take my advice)