I love my stepfather

I have grown up spending summers with my dad and the rest of the year with my stepfather and mother. I call my stepfather Dad and feel closer to him than I do with my real dad who is a drunk and a loser. I know I call him dad and he acts like a dad but I don’t understand why I love him like a person loves someone they love, not like a dad. Sometimes I think I wish my mom would leave and then I would be with him and he would want me to be like his wife then. I’m 21 now and still live at home. He has been my dad since I was 8 and I love him so much, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! when I hug him, I want to kiss him and go crazy but I don’t. I want to really touch him, but I don’t, I don’t feel closer to anyone but him! I want him to look at me like he loves me, but he looks at me like a dad would. Sometimes I hate my mom and am jealous of her. He understands me, no one understands me the way he does, I could be with him forever and be totally happy. I want to lean on him and watch movies every day. I want to bring him his coffee. I want to hear his ideas and have him read to me from his books of poetry. I want to be 10 again and have him teach me to swim, or take me to the father daughter dance again. I want him to look at me as a woman, not a daughter, and appreciate who I could be to him. I’m crazy assed in love with him!!!!!!!! I wear his sweatshirts and take his things so I can have something of his with me all the time. He says I’m beautiful, but the way a Dad would say it to his real daughter. Why can’t he have a moment of weakness and just love me back the same way!!!! WHY is it WRONG?!!!! I want him to burn for me! I feel like I could explode and just tell him everything I feel, would that ruin what we have? Would my mom hate me forever? I never want to move out, I never want to leave

96 thoughts on “I love my stepfather

  1. I wish my SD felt this way about me. We are very close and like the author I am the one that understands her better than anyone . I married her mom when she was 12 and I was 30. She is 32 now with children and a bad marriage. We have been thru so much together that it is not normal for us to go a day without communicating. I have to fight my feelings for her everyday. I know I have the wrong kind of love for her but can’t help it. I have tried to stay away from her and she will almost panic sending me text asking what’s wrong. I told her in so many words that I have to stay away from her for a while because I love her the wrong way. She has said “ I understand “ but I’m not sure what that means. I want so badly to kiss her, make love to her. Not in a sick perverted way. I guess this is wrong and I have controlled it so far but find myself hurt and confused. How can, or should I tell her how I feel. As step daughters can you advise?

  2. Make him get into the mood, just roam around the home in shorts and t-shirts, just make him feel that you are tempting him, hope that works

    1. Really bad advice. Honor thy mother and thy father! Taking your stepfather from your mother would be the worse betrayal a daughter could do to a mother. Those relationships never work and many get hurt in the process. Find another man!

  3. Hi.
    Okay, you found some real people to relate to, other girls with the same-like unbalanced, irrational thinking. You are a young adult woman, not an irresponsible teenager. If you do not snap out of it you will hurt him, your mother and yourself. The pain of it all might last til you reach your mother’s age.
    For reason your mother given birth to you honor her, do not envy or despise her. Your father in law is her legal husband, you have no right to claim her mate as your own. Please face those facts. This is your opportunity to goven your feelings and take on a life as a mature adult.
    I do not want you to suffer decades later. Love him your father in law as much as you wish, do not love him ill properly, set your limits, it begins in your mind then your heart. Real love is not reckless, it is maintained by honorable principals.
    Love your mother as his wife and your parent. She is there to help you in the future. Love them as a couple and be the best grown up daughter they could ever imagine. These are people deserving your respect, you should be the foremost example regarding their marriage. May God bless you young lady.

  4. The same thing is happening to me ! Growing up my mother was a losey mother and wife to him. When I was 7 she had my half brother who I raised and when i was 15 she had my half sister, who I also raised. my mother was a very lazy person who doesn’t give a crap about anyone but herself. I got stuck cleaning the house and like I said raising both kids plus going to school and trying to live a normal life. She met my step dad when I was 4 so he’s been around for a long time. He is a mechanic so he always had aching muscles and I would be the one rubbing them out and helping him. My mother did nothing all she did was take him for all his money that he made she took him for granted as she did me. So over the years it’s just me and him doing everything for the kids and it was him going to work to make the money . I finally realize that I was in love with him. But I didn’t want anybody to know I never wanted to hang out with any boys I never wanted to have a boyfriend it was him who I always wanted to be around. (It will be two years)July 5 we was watching the fireworks it was me and him sitting down at the lake watching the fireworks and there was a guy who i happened to just be friends with my brother called him and he came down and sat with me and my stepdad he put his arm around me and my stepdad flipped he started getting up screaming and it was really embarrassing but to find out my stepdad had the same feelings for me as I did him. So we talked about it and We finally we got the balls enough to leave my mother my brother left with us we got a house. after four months of not seeing my sister who is a attached at my hip he finally got full custody of her. My mother kept her from us because she knew it would hurt us. My mother now knows about us and we are letting friends know it’s hard for me to not tell anyone to not post pictures on Facebook to not share my feelings with my friends. People have judged me i’ve lost a couple friends as he did too but things are starting to come together. And I am extremely happy and so is he so losing all those people just means in reality they weren’t going to be there for me anyway. he recently proposed to me we are engaged he’s not fully divorced from my mother yet but he will be soon. Sometimes if you give it time your dreams could come true.

  5. I know how you feel When my step daughter came into my life at the age of 12 we did not get along at all she hated me then one weekend night when me and my wife were getting ready to walk out the door to go out she stopped me and told me to go back into my bedroom and sit down at the bath room counter she did not know it till then that I was a crossdresser and was going out to a club . she told me you are not going out looking like that and took off all my make up and started to re-do it when she was done she said ok now your ready to go she had done a GREAT job and I loved how it looked we started going out to the clubs together about 2 weeks later she loved it because I would go shopping and buy her sexy outfits and she would give me her advice and support we no longer hated each other as a matter a fact we became much closer and have a very close relationship not at all like a step daughter step dad type we have a special type of relationship we can and do tell each other everything and I mean EVERYTHING even flirt with each other .. One night when we went to the beach we played around a little and one the way home I brought up the fact that i would like to take it one step more having sex and she was open to it and would like to one day well after 6 years of us going out and all we did go out to a friends place when out to a club and on the way home we started playing and one thing lead to another and we ended up at a motel and had a GREAT time together we have got together and played around 4-5 times now and yes my wife does know we have a open marriage surprisingly that was the only way we were going to get along we are just as close now and never have regretted none of the things we have done and we still go out from time to time ..

    1. Reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy disturbing, and honestly has nothing to do with the actual post. Her step dad sees her as a daughter, unlike you see her as another **** body. You wrong and you know it.

  6. just tell him how you feel no use him not knowing ! try to understand his response be it positive or negative then take it from there.I have a step daughter and i know how you feel

  7. I don’t want to sound cruel but what it goes around comes around :(, you can feelings for anybody, big feelings, strong feelings, but if you avoid the situation, it goes away, I know that…

  8. Im a very concerned mother of a 15yrs old daughter who hates her dad and absulutly adores my boyfriend. How do I know that she only sees him in a stepfather kinda way?

  9. all of you who see your stepfathers that way need prof help right now. what you are doing is down right immoral. i am absolutely disgusted by it.

  10. guy i hv been following your comments and come to an understandig that all those not in this situation should not comment cause they are commenting from spectator point of view.i am a step dad and i have a similar sutuation though mine is too complicated ppl must understand that it is not by choice bit its nature its beyond ones control

  11. i think you dont really love him as much as the person he is. think up some characteristics that you like the most and strive to find a man your own age (and not in your family) and then youll know what love is. when you have all of those feelings you explained but the other person feels it, too. best of luck, sweetheart. but listen to me, do not make a move on him. you will regret it.

  12. We arent as shocked as some, probably because we have a very open sexual relationship. My wife and I have 2 children. Thats inaccurate. The are 20, the male, and 21, the female. We adore them. As adults we feel that the love between parents and their offspring is a lot more complex than simply “theyre my kids..of course I love them.” We like our kids too. Really…realy like them. That said, the love we have for them extends to thoughts and feelings with that are at times distinctly physical. Yep…with them as consenting adults we sure would. That she (the daughter) feels that way towards us isnt a bit bothersome. Writer, youre not weird at all. Also, are you certain he doesnt feel the same?

    1. i totally agree with you. not only parents but adult siblings have those feelings too. my sis and I have shared such moments and we still treasure them. not everything has to be and and forced and stuff. some are such precious memories. it is all in the mind

  13. This is a bad situation. He may be a great guy for you and make a great husband, BUT he is not the only man capable of this. There are many men out there you haven’t met. I’m sure you feel a strong attraction to him and he seems to be a stable male figure in your life. However you are not doomed to eternally love this man, enduring a horrible situation,…you must force yourself to move out and immerse into the world. The only reason you love him is because you haven’t met another man that you’d love as much. But he’s out there and he’s not a stepfather. He’d fit nicely into your life.

  14. If someone experiences something once, odds are they’ll pursue it more in the end. If you shoplift and don’t get caught, it can lead to more of the same.

    Both parties will gain “preferences” from these experiences regardless of the circumstances or even worse, the outcome. The daughter with older men and the Stepfather with younger girls. You become the only thing you know, and even worse, it becomes harder to almost, impossible mentally, to change these views. Both conscious and subconsciously speaking.

    The sum of your experiences will both create and destroy, evolve and disintegrate, but always never leave its grasp on your mentality of the person you have to look in the mirror. YOURSELF!

    Everyone lives with a touch of grey, but whether or not it turns black or white is a shrapnel grenade, in full view or hidden, best left to the professional emotional terrorists!


    Google it….

  15. I cant say I love my step-father but I can sympathize ’cause I know what it’s like to have a one-sided love. But the best thing I can think of to do is distance yourself from him. Just start by going out more, then try and move out but come back to your house like every other day, then just keep it at about once a week. You should also try and talk to a pro. to find out why you Love him and look for those same qualities in a lover/ companion. And dont try to compare them to your step-father, because there not him. Im not saying what you feel is wrong, or that what he may possibly feel is wrong. Just know that if you are truly ment to be together Love will find a way. But for the most part Im assuming you all have a daddy complex or a daughter complex. But who am I to judge, I think I love a man who’s 7yrs. older than me, true its not 20 but he can never feel for me what I feel for him. Oh well Im rambeling about my problems this message is about yours. Good luck, and I hope you evenyually do find your true love whoever it may be.

  16. What is wrong with yaw people. This is sick. There is no way in hell I can understand this. U NEED HELP! And your mother needs to kick your ass. I hope she does. WTF!!!!!!

  17. I am 18 and have been in love with my stepdad for the past 5yrs! We started having sex when I was 16 and I dont regret it at all! I love him more than anything in this world,he is absolutly amazing,and he loves me so much! We have so much in common and I want to have a baby with him very soon.He and my mom are divorced and I cant wait till we are married and have a family! It was so hard for me to watch how my mom treated him for the 15yrs they were married.I would give my life for him and I know he would do the same for me,I could not love anyone more than I love him!

    1. wow Megan. I say if what you have is real love than great. Weirder stuff happens. I know I love my stepdaughter the same way. It just happened as she grew up. I do not feel closer to any other woman. Period. I also know that although she does love me deeply and I am closer to her than anyone else, she most likely does not feel the same way I do and never will. So I live with burden and secrets. I think your situation is pefect Megan, dont let anyone tell you otherwise because I have never felt so strongly in love with someone as I do her.

    2. I know how good the feeling is. it’s like nothing that you felt before. But what’s happening to us right now isn’t too great. the spark has gone, love faded and I feel ignored now. Sometimes I feel like he manipulated me, took advantage of my innocence, and used me as a sex machine. I’ve always gave him good sex but when it comes to me he would say, “we don’t have time.”. He stopped pleasing me and we stopped going out. When I started asking him for a “lone time” for us he’ll pull away and say, ” what more do you want? We’re together everyday?!” and I start to feel neglected. He told me, “those lovey-dovey while watching tv ain’t gonna happen nomore. Those days are over.”

    3. I know how good the feeling is. it’s like nothing that you felt before. But what’s happening to us right now isn’t too great. the spark has gone, love faded and I feel ignored now. Sometimes I feel like he manipulated me, took advantage of my innocence, and used me as a sex machine. I’ve always gave him good sex but when it comes to me he would say, “we don’t have time.”. He stopped pleasing me and we stopped going out. When I started asking him for a “lone time” for us he’ll pull away and say, ” what more do you want? We’re together everyday?!” and I start to feel neglected. He told me, “those lovey-dovey while watching tv ain’t gonna happen nomore. Those days are over.”

  18. You guys are missing the point why the relationship is working, its bcuz its a secret relationship. The whole sneaking around is what make it exciting u don’t want to marry ur step dad just f*#ck him. There is a side of him u he don’t. Know and their r things about u he doesn’t know. Keep it that way, its all animal attraction. Married couple don’t have as much fun.

  19. heya i want to know him my step dad loves me 4 who i am but i dont love him like my ma dose i just like him an love him dose anybody now how i can find out if he loves me i am glad him an my mam met in their life 18 now an i still tink about it if he loves me or not so if anybody can tell me what should i do that i would if he lopves me

  20. if there’s an easy way to get away from it i will do it. but i love him so much. i wanna spend the rest of my life with him but to think of the future…its complicated.

  21. its so nice to know that there are people going through the same thing.. it makes me feel less alone in the world.. im 18 and weve been together for 3 years now and we are 15 years apart… him and my mother are on the verge of devorice which im hoping will be soon…i love him so much.. with all my heart… but i dont know if we should be together … i know our relationship is not up to moral laws.. (if there is such a thing) but i dont think i could stand to lose him.. does anyone have any advice on how to break the relationship without lossing him from my life… we have tried to stop but we always get back together… he says he couldnt sitck around without being with me… and i dont want him to go… any help would be better than nothing

      1. You can’t have it all, you can choose to be with him after the divorce but you probably will hurt ur mom’s feeling and get judged by ppl around u. if u think u cam handle the consequences, then go for it. But if u cant, u still can loveeach other without being lovers. My stepdad and I love each other so much, but he’s still married with my mom and he doesnt want to break my relationship with my mom. We promise no matter what we’re gonna be in each other’s life forever. Sometimes it hurts knowing that I cant be with the one I love, but knowing that he also feels the same way kinda relieves the pain.

  22. heya i have a stepda an i love him not in the way u do but he dose not hug me or ihardly talk to him but i want to be a little bit closer to him if i am lying on the sofa an i put my leg on top of him he dose not evan toch meor put his on on my foot waer he would on me sister but i dont know why he dose that but i now i love him al i want to do is 4 him to love me back . u shold just move out an i bet u will find some1 to love u or stay in the house but go out an enjoy ur life an he will allways love u bu just find a boyfrined of ur own ps. good look in life

  23. Its a natural feeling. I have a step daughter. Love her like crazy we get on so well. feeling is not really sexual its a closeness that is unique- A woman in my home that is my wifes child but not biologically mine!-Nice. Enjoy him and feel close but no sex please!

  24. my problem is somewhat like you guys but right now its like every time we see each other we play around if we get into each others way we like stop and hesitate than laugh it off but i feel there’s something there but i don’t know what to do every time were alone i think im gonna go crazy but i don’t want to break my mom’s heart if she found out but it’s so hard to control mt feelings hes so cute and nice and were 10 years apart and my mom and step dad are 13 years apart im so confused!

  25. It happens at times. I am been loved by a friend of mine. Of course we don’t have body relations, but I am sure, if I take initiative, she will be convinced. I can read this from her face and acts.
    So since a long time, I am suggesting her to find a mate for herself, but she says she can’t find a good person anymore. Hence I myself am trying to find a good mate for her, so she can live her life happily.
    Dear ‘writer’ you should do the same thing. If your step father is friendly to you, you should disclose this to him, and also ask him to help you in finding the appropriate soul mate for you.
    Wish you luck.

  26. I really feel it for u but to me I think your just being really selfish u can’t just think about yourself think about your mom how is she going to handle this. AND IF YOU LOVE YOUR STEP -DAD SO MUCH LET HIM GO from what it sound that man has done nothing to u but love u. U are so lucky i would kill to have a step-dad like that my step is a cheater, women beater, he has 8 kid , self center mother fucker i dont hate him because it’s a SIN BUt i really really dont like him reallly !!!!!!! ( sorry i just had to vent that)

  27. I read this verse when while I am still in my temptation. I am a step dad who is madly in love with my step daughter. We haven’t done anything. But she will tell me that she loves me and I tell her the same. I don’t know why this happens. I can’t explain how deep the love is. But it is a illusion that is no more real than dry water. The devil, the serpant is the author of this lustful artificial love we think we have. Yet I am drown to her powerfully. I fight every day to ignore the wilds of evil. I pray that I will be the victor over this thing I fill.

    She is so beautiful in everyway to me. Her body is a perfect example of fitness. Her tenderness in incredibly alluring to say the least. When we talk we understand each other perfectly. Yet I fight and so does she. You see, we both know it’s wrong and it must not happen. It hurts so bad. But in the end we will be free and glad we made it.

    You may not be a follower of the christian faith. May not be religous at all. But the Bible says it’s not even excepted outside the church.

    Best regards to you and beware of the wicked one.

    1 Corinthians 5

    Paul to the Church in Corinth

    1. I also received a report of scandalous sex within the church family, a kind that wouldn’t be tolerated even outside the church:One of your men is sleeping with his stepmother. 2. And your so above it all that it doesn’t even faze you. Shouldn’t this break your hearts? Shouldn’t it bring you to your knees in tears? Shouldn’t this person and his conduct be confronted and dealt with? 3. I’ll tell you what I would do. Even though I’m not there in person, consider me there with you, because I can fully see what’s going on. I’m telling you that this is wrong. You must not simply look the other way and hope it goes away on its own. Bring it out and openly deal with it within the authority of Jesus our master. Hold this mans conduct up to public scrutiny. Let him defend it and if he cant, then out with him. It will be totally devasting to him, of course, and embarrasing to you. But better devasting and embarrasment than damnation.

    1. Well tell us whats going on. Are you and him doing stuff romanticly already? Or are these just feelings of love? Is he still with your mother or separated? What is your age difference? Tell us more and maybe we can help you.

      1. ok it all started when i came here in america. after i turned 18 he started to do stuff to me like foot rub, massage, buying me stuff and we talk alot. he was like my best friend because we can talk to each other openly without hesitation.he thaught me alot of things about this country. the lifestyle, culture and how to watch out from bad people. as a new comer, i was lonely, depressed and homesick.he was the one who comfort me and show me things even though my mom is around but im distant from her.my mom and i had been apart for 16yrs of my life and she never wanna tell me anything about my dad.i grew up not knowing any information about my biological father until now.no descent answers. but anyway..
        after me and him got really close..one night he gave me a back massage and we started kissing.i was so nervous coz i know what i was doing was wrong but i went for it anyway.(i was lonely!)
        after that we kept doing it and we slept together.i had bf’s before but as we go along our feelings got stronger and we agreed to just stick to each other.that means i cant have no bf.
        my mom have seen text msgs from my phone before but we convinced her that those were just his advices to me for my bf. everyday our feelings get stronger and we love each other so much. but..there are things that he cant provide to me, like
        (1)going out with friends without him.he gets jealous because i spend alot of time wit friends.he sometimes suspect that im with another man.
        (2)we cant make out or be affectionate everytime we want even though we are in our place.
        (3)we never celebrated our anniversary.idk why.
        there are other things that we cant do like a normal couple would do. but we can walk anywhere holding hands and making out.we dont care.
        for the last 2yrs i have been cheating on him because of the things that he cant provide and im getting it somewhere else.you cant blame me. im young and i wanna experience stuff. so the trust between us has gone. and our relationship started to fall apart. 1 week ago i quit our relationship and he started seeing other woman. it hurts me but i got what i asked for. yesterday i just found out that im pregnant with him and i dont know what to do…i dont wanna kill a baby….help pls.

        1. (other info about us)
          i moved out from their house a year ago but we still see each other. we love each other so much that we want to get marry and live in a place where nobody will judge us.just to live happily.

          1. Maybe you two should just move to another country where nobody knows you, so you can live as a married couple.
            Btw I’m also in love with my stepfather, and this feeling is great :)
            I know what I’m doing is wrong, but we both love each other so much and always try not to hurt each other or other people. That’s why we can’t reveal our relationship to anyone, esp to my mother.

  28. omg! I can’t believe I will find you all here! I’ve been wanted to have someone to talk to about this and
    have someone who can understand what I’m going
    through. i’m in the same situation and I’m really having a

  29. it’s wrong because it would be considered incest. even if you’re not blood relatives, it’s constituted as such. he’s the person in authority. get some help and find your way in life, plus this is wrong to do to your mother.. your stepfather is a good man to keep his boundaries, knock it off and grow up, get out of your parents house, it’s overdue

  30. I’m a stepdad and my step daughter is very caring she even takes my side when her mom gets in her controlling (must be her way) moods she is very beautiful and sexy i’m in my 50′ she is in her 20’s i will never make a move on her but if ever she did on me first we’d have to talk about it before anything could happen and it would have to be a secret forever she often walks around just in a towel and i find myself wishing it fell but i know nothing will ever happen

  31. its totaly fine girly i been througj it all.heres some planes for you to do. first plan: ask to watch a movie and pick out a scary one. when i gets to a scary part and something jumps out, YOU jump and hide you face against his are or his side(if his are is around you). plane 2:again ask to movie with him. when it gets a little bit past the middle of the movie pretend to fall asleep and lean against him. the scary movie hes more than likely to put his arm around you to “protect” you through the scary part.lol. plane three: when you have a problem at skool, and hes around pretend to cry and he might come talk to ya. when you guys are done talking give he might give ya a hug..or u give him a hug(i use to doo that a lot). plan 3: you mentioned some thing about you wanting him to read you his poetry books(lol thats just funny to me sorry) when he is close get a jornal and start writing some poetry! see what he thinks.lol. plan 4:pretend to fall down the stairs when he could see or here. he is most likely to come to the rescue…lol. the last plan:this ones the hardest! get some fake blood andd come home with it coming out of your mouth. say these weird girls that u never saw befor started teasing you and you got so made you said shut up a and you got punched in the mouth by one of them. he might be realy close to you that day. good luck.

  32. My dad was never married to my mom and he is not my biological father, so technically he’s just another guy.I love him as my daddy and he loves me as his little girl but underneath it all there is more. Since my mom left him I have bonded with him like no one else and he is totally dedicated to me. I am convinced that noone loves me like this man does. He is always there for me. I want to move on him and give him the surprise of his life because I can see in his eyes that he wants it. I can’t even hug him like normal daughter because I am afraid I will not stop there. My problem is he is 20 years older than me and I know that nobody we know would aprove or understand. I can’t forget that i have looked at him as a dad for 15 years, but maybe now its time to see him as something else.

  33. I am so glad I a not the only one to fall for her foster dad.he started having sex with me when I was 11.I was so lonley and fell in love with him. I later got married to someone els but was never satisfied sexualy as I was with him.we had 8years of deep honest love and for that I am thankful

  34. You guys are dirty back stabbing selfish people. As daughters, how could you treat the very person that loves you more than anyone and brought you into this world, like that! You stand by and claim this love for your stepfather who is obviously a sick pervert child molester to even want to be involved with someone so much younger and has only helped raise. What about your mother who has always been there? You need a lot of prayer and counseling. QUIT BEING LAZY/DESPERATE AND GO FIND YOUR OWN MATE!!

    1. Look girl…you dont know what you are talking about if you were in situations like us you would understand. This is why we come on sites like this one to try and find people with the same problems, is not like if we wanted for all of this to happen. these things happen gradually and with time.. so dont you come and say things that you dont know, you are just part of the same bunch that criticise and jugde with out knowing!!!

  35. I am now dealing with this situation. I just found out that my sister and dad had an affair behind my families back. Apparently it happened for a while, beginning in her teen years. She’s in her 30’s now and I will assume that they no longer have a relationship but it doesn’t change the way that I feel about either of them. That makes my dad seem like a MONSTER! A STRANGER!! & I don’t know how I can look at anyone involved the same. My mom knows now and no one ever bothered to tell me. I don’t know how to feel but my heart hurts and i feel SICK! I would have NEVER in a million years thought MY father would do something like this. I know all people are imperfect but GEESH! I feel sorry for all involved b/c it goes way beyond just the 2 people who have the feelings for each other. That hurt can affect other parties as well and can leave scars that can never be fixed! I send my prayers to you all and I wish you all the best!

  36. But what about when the stepdad is no longer married to the mother. And the mother has already found someone else? Isn’t there something still a little weird about a girl getting with the guy who raised her? I;m wondering how people think this hurts the girl. This is probably the one guy who would truly never do her wrong.

  37. I know how you feel. Just wanting someone so badly but you cant. I had an affair with my step dad, he understood me like no one in this world would. Sometimes I wish that we could run away and share our love openly. But its a waste of time, he loves me and I know he does but its too hard to leave someone for their daughter. Think about it you wouldnt want your daughter with your husband! It’ll save you him and your mother alot of hurt. Because in the end you’ll most probably be the most hurt one.

  38. If I only could hear those words from my stepdaughter I’d be the happiest man around ! But she’s just the opposite to you. I’m a man who’d do just about anything to see her happy, but don’t matter what I do for her she doesn’t seem to give it any importance. My wife once cheated on me and after our marriage almost had come to an end I eventually forgave her, but I don’t love her the way I once did. She hurted me bad, so why couldn’t I make her taste her own poison ? But that’s not what drives me towards my S.D., I really lover her and want her, I want to be by her side for the rest of my life. Our age gap is 20 years, we’re 21 and 41 but, believe me, we look real good next to one another.

  39. I’m a stepfather and fell in love with my stepdaugher… I tried to hide it from everybody, especially from her, as I knew it could deeply hurt all of our families. I just couldn’t stand seeing her go out with her boy friends, I got to read all of her MSN conversations and emails too, and I discovered she had a very active sex life… I went crazy, why did she do it with everyone but not with me ? One day I finally told her what I felt ( and still feel ) about her… ten days later she told it to my wife, and had already told it to at least a dozen people, one of my sisters included… my wife eventually forgave me, but I couldn’t forget all this. I don’t know if I love or hate my stepdaugher. She now despises me and treats me coldly, except when she needs something from me (mostly money). It’s been hard to go on with life, I just don’t feel like living anymore. I don’t love my wife anymore, but still she’s the best friend I have and I don’t want to hurt her by leaving her, she thinks the story is past, when it’s not. And then I have 2 daughter that I love so much. You see how complicated it can get ? I wish you luck, my dear, I know how much your heart have been aching, for much have I suffered.

    1. This sounds much like a story I heard from a friend of mine. I feel saddened that so many of us feel this way but I am also thankful that I am not the only one.

    2. Wow I’m a 16 year old girl and I Have been fooling around with my 47 year old stepdad. I could not even imagine telling everyone something that personal about him. Exspecially towards me. I’m so Srry ! :'(

  40. I understand that feeling. It happens to me too. My mom married again with a guy who’s simply amazing. He does everything for my mom and he loves me just like his own daughter. He’s a really fun person, and we found out that we have a lot in common. We started getting closer and closer and we had a really good relationship. But my mom is so selfish, she just does what ever she wants and doesn’t care about what my stepdad wants. It really made me sad to see they argued and my stepdad just gave in to make peace. Can you believe that he prepares our breakfast every morning and helps to put together the lunch everyday? I always tried to be around my stepdad to make him happy because he’s really a nice person. But we became too close and suddenly we just started making out and it’s great. We deeply fall in love with each other, not just physically but also emotionally. We understand each other, and we’ll do anything for each other. He’s 50 and I’m 19,but he’s the most amazing person that I have ever met. We tr to keep our relationship from my mom, but I think she’s been feeling suspicious about it.But my relationship with my stepdad is great, even though it’s not right. Just being with him makes me as the happiest person in the world, He always makes me laugh. But the problem is this feeling hurts me. Just like what you said,I just want to explode and go crazy with him but we both we can’t.If my mom finds out about it, it will ruin all our life.I wish that he wasn’t married to my mom,I don’t care even though he’s 50.I wish that I could marry him and spend the rest of my life with him cause I love him so much and he loves me too.But we both know we can’t.I cry in the middle of the night cause I love him so much and just want to be around him, but also I wish I didn’t fall in love with him so this feeling won’t hurt me. I don’t know what to do, but all that matters is as long as we both love each other very much.

    1. My story is the same as yours….we are both deeply in love.its all preety much the same, my mum married again to another man and just like you she is selfish dosnt care about him, she dont look after her self she is just the not the person for him. I am 19 and he is 33 and we have been having a relationship for the past 4 years…i know it may sound though as if he was taking advantage but is nothig like that…he too has problems with her and they started preety much soon after they married which is why we started getting closer and closer from early on. i too cry at nights i want to go crazy too with him and be with him for ever, it is very hard to keep it away from people when you are so madly in love. People dont realise how this feels and they may judge but its only us the ones that know what it is truly to be in love. I feel happy to know that i can share this with someone since we are both the same age. We talk a lot and we think that in the future we might have something together i wish you the very best of luck with your partner, i hooe you read the message.. i wanted to ask you, do your friends know? None of my friends know this is only between me and him and no1 else. thanks i hope we can still chat

      1. Thanks for replying me back. I’m so glad that there’s somebody out there that can understand me. I feel like I’m alone, none of my friends know cause I don’t trust to tell anyone and I don’t want them to judge me.
        I wish we can chat in the future.

        1. I’m in the same situation like you. I love my stepdad so much and so does he. but it’s very complicated. I hope to hear from you soon.

    2. Oh my God….i dont know if is this is real…but i feel so happy to know that you are outhere…..

      Its the same with me i have been keeping it a secret for over 4 years now and its really hard, specially when they ask questions about guys and stuff like that, since me and you are on the same boat i reccomend you to keep it this way NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER tell anybody, eveyone is fake and you dont want to ruin your life, we both know that people wont understand and even if they say that they do….WE KNOW THEY DON’T. Please take my advice even if there is a time in which you feel that you can trust somoneone Dont…not even your best of friends they will betray you some day i promise you that.

      i hope we can carry on chatting and sharing tips on how to keep things quiet…how long have you been with him…please reply back..i feel so exited i want to talk to you more and m ore..i never though i would find someone. bye

      1. i think it’s fine talking here.
        I’ve been with him for almost a year. Things get harder lately, my mom caught us one day, she got so mad at us. But we convinced her nothing happen and finally she believed us. But since that time we try to be cool, and it really drives me crazy cause I really love him.
        How did u keep it a secret for 4 years?

    3. I BELEIVE SO TOO….AM SO EXITED TO HAVE FOUND YOU…LISTEN OPEN UP AN ACCOUNT HOTMAIL. fake one if you feel better..that way we can email eachother please do, am so happy you are in the same position as me…please open it…that way we are both safe…i will tell you how i have kept ot secret.

    4. LOOK open up another account…a fake one a hotmail….then we will exchange our email address AGAIN A FAKE ONE ..not because we dont tryst eachother, but so that wwe both feel safe. COOL. good please reply i have never been this happy. it has been for years of my life. YEAHHHH

    5. i hope you still hope you want to chat and that you like the idea of opening another hotmail or yahoo.what ever account so that we can email eachother, i hope you dont find this wierd me wanting to talk to you so much, i hope you understants that i have been leading a double life for 4 years and I FINNALY FIND SOMEONE THAT IS IN THE SAME SITUATION AS ME. Thankyou for replying back…

      1. I don’t feel it’s weird at all, keeping it for 4 yes must be really hard. Ok, I’ll make a fake email, pls tell me ur fake email so I can add u on messenger.

        1. me and my stepdad had been in a relationship for 4yrs too. we’ve been caught through text msgs but we convinced my mom there’s nothing between us. although I know she’s suspicious about
          us. me and my stepdad are alot closer than me and my mom. were best friends.

          1. hi Pinklove, how did u manage to keep it as a secret from your mom for that long? I’m also very close to my stepdad, it’s more than just sexual attraction but just like you said, we’re bestfriend. I’m so glad to hear that somebody else’ in the same situation, i don’t think anyone else would understand. Please keep in touh, im looking forward to hear from you.

          2. he’s really smart and good on hiding things.so everytime we get caught he has an excuse and my mom believes it.i mean i dont think she believes us completely. i have a feeling that she is suspicious.she just dont show it. its really hard and complicated.but exciting.

    6. hey im in the exact same spot as you described… i have fallen head over heals for my stepdad.. for starts im absolutely thrilled to see that im not the only one in the same situation.. it makes me feel alot better about it.. like im not the only one and maybe it isnt so wrong… you cant choose who you fall in love with it almost chooses you… and it wouldnt be fair to not embrace it… but if you could i would like to know how things turned out for you or any tips you would have

  41. Hi. I understand what you mean, I think at least. Do not feel bad for the bad comments. Love works in a strange way. I fell in love with my stepdaughter as well. She does not know anythingand I did not pursue her, because it is not right. She is 17 and I am 29, but I try to be a father figure and i live with my partner, who is 41. I fell trapped in my relationship and hopefully this helps you. Anyway, please remember, if you went for, it, there is a chance he feels also the way you feel, but it would break up your familly, and change the life of all three of you for worse. It is strange, but you have to see this through. If he decided to go for it, it would mean that you would forfeit your family and you would have only him if he decided to leave your mother. Think about it good luck.

  42. I’m a stepfather too. So many people don’t understand that a little girl needs a father to show her what a man can really be. Strong, supportive, understanding, forgiving, a man that can bring out the best in what all women are…someone that can respect her feelings, empathize with her when she is upset, sit and listen when she wants to talk. Your stepfather must be a really good guy and I can understand why you want it to be more than that…more into a physical relationship. There are many men, unfortunately that would fantasize about such a relationship, not realizing or not caring about the damage it would do to you as a woman and as a person in general. I wish I knew you to understand your feelings better. You have to be careful because you are vulnerable to any actions that may be perceived by you from your stepfather as affection beyond a father figure. If he is a truly genuine loving man as a stepfather, I would hope he perceives the type of affection you have for him and encourage you that there ARE other men that can show you love the way you want, with all the same characteristics that he has plus the physical love you are looking for….taking care…

  43. There is love out there for you. Patience and self-control. Even find a relationship where you can release your body’s sexual hunger. But yeah, find someone else. Lots of women love bad relationships. Start working that sooner.

  44. these are normal feelings you have. although you should see a professional about this. being that your biological father is a drunk, he probably never paid much attention to you that way a real father should. he was most likely never there for you when you needed him to be. so now that you have your stepfather, who does treat you like a daughter, you have these feelings for him. it all stems back from your real dad. you feel in love with him because he is loving you and gives you the attention you thrive for. see a professiona to sort out these feelings. if you can’t see him as your stepfather to control your feelings, see him as a happily man with children. good luck (take my advice)

  45. its ok. it happens all the time. he probably feels much the same way toward you, but because he loves you he has respect for you and would never put you in the sort of uncomfortable situation, and he loves your mom and wouldn’t want to hurt her or jeopardize his comfortable life. love is never normal. tv and common western myths can only teach you so much, but in reality we fall in love with people that we shouldn’t fall in love with all the time. its ok.

  46. I do not think this a real love maybe you are impressed with your step-father’s charater and the way of thinking if not the way he looks like. My advice to you to mingle with more people to find someone matching your age and common interests. If you search well sure you will find. Good luck.

  47. Your feelings are completely natural. I understand all to well how difficult it is to feel as you do. Love is complicated and I would ignore people’s outraged comments and focus on the real questions. Not on how you two will be judged. How do you really think he feels? What effect would the two of you being together have on your family and friends? You may have to wait until your next lives to be together. For now, your feelings for him are natural and understandable to anyone who is “human”. You only need concern yourself with “actions”. I don’t think anyone can tell you much about what to do.

  48. It’s time to grow up girl. Thankfully your step-father is a wise man and would NEVER go for you! At least I hope so. Think of what it would do to your mother!! The whole family?? Be a grown-up and seek professional help and quit trying to ruin your parents relationship and the father-daughter relationship you have with your step-dad. It will all end in tears if you persue your obsession with him. I wish you the very best.

  49. I dont think calling her crazy or immauture is any help, confessing her secret would have been hard! I think support is what she came to this website for, or a little realese from what she is fighting inside.

    It may be a little wrong, and obviously you know this by keeping it a secret and not doing anything about it. But think about your mother, she already had a marriage that went no where and you ended up with a drunk father. Obviously she is happy now and feels as though you have a good life with a new father who can treat you like a father should.

    You are 21, you have a lot of time to find someone to love like you feel as though you do your step father.

    I wish you luck.

    1. Hi, i am in the same situation in reverse, im the stepfather 35, shes 26, known each other for over ten years, i am also bursting at the seams with all kinds of emotions, shes the first thing i think off in the morning and night i am completly stuck in a moral lovegoround of torturous thoughts scenerios love, lust, but mostly pain and sorrow (violins pls), personaly i broke up with the mum and am planning to move away from the situation, and move on with my life, he is your stepdad and i understand that would mean moving away from your mum and family including him, theres a lot of contradicting advise on here, so i will be straight with you, you have come this far without acting on it!!! that is your answer i believe, it is a tough one and i sincerely wish you the best of luck, be strong J

  50. There is such a thing as maturity. If you are self indulgent and do not want to grow up, then I guess you will just give in, but part of being an adult is learning self-control. What if some guy saw you on the street and decided he wanted you? Would the fact that “he just couldn’t help himself”, excuse him for raping you?

  51. I have always had boyfriends, I even have a boyfriend now. Trust me, I have tried to love other people. I wish you could understand what this is like!!! It’s like part of me, how can I “grow up” and discard my deepest parts? When I am away, all I can think about is getting back home and hearing his voice again

    1. I am to. It I don’t thinks its love at this point my mom and my step dad just started going out about a month ago and he is so gorgeous like only he has piercing blue eyes and gives the best hugs and he is just so dam cute I don’t think I’m crazy in love with him yet but I am super jealous and I just wanna kiss him sometimes like ugh! He’s so dam pretty and amazing but I really don’t want it to turn into anything more than just a little crush

  52. It is bad for the whole family and if you can’t snap out of it you may need professional help. Why can’t you go out and meet someone you can learn to love and stop thinking about your dad?

    Maybe it would be good if you get a place of your own and learn to grow up.

    1. hi,i know how you feel it makes me so jealous when my mom and step dad kiss i absolutly hate it, it discusits me and i wish i was in her spot and some time he will tell me he loves me but he does not say it like he means it, it drives me completly insane so dont feel bad and dont think any thing bad of what you think.

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