RSSHelp!!!!! Love or dignity?
I’m a girl and I have loved one of my best guy friends for the longest time. He used to love me a lot too, he told me this and everything, but I wasn’t ready to start something with him then.
So he fell for one of my other girl friends. And they became boyfriend and girlfriend. But one night he and I were alone together and we kissed. It became really complicated, and he asked me to tell him I loved him so he could leave my girl friend. But then I really cared about this girl friend, I felt terrible about what we had done and I felt I couldn’t do that to her. So I didn’t tell him.
Months later I was accepted into a college out of the country, and I would leave for the next school year in August. I was scared of saying goodbye and leaving whatever we had full of “ifs”. So I told him I loved him (around April). He asked me, in other words, if I would wait for him to get out of his relationship. I told him, also in other words, that I thought I would.
About a month passed, and about a week ago he broke up with his girlfriend. I still love him, and I know he still has feelings for me, we’ve been spending loads of time together since. I feel really happy and good about myself when I am with him, he makes me laugh and is just, in a way, imperfectly perfect.
I’ve been having problems with my girl friend, his ex, for reasons unrelated to him. She was really in love with him, and although he really cared about her it was never as much. So I feel like !”#$ for even thinking about getting together with him, but it’s not as if me and her are the greatest chums right now. Plus, everyone else would think I’m a terrible person, and I’d have broken that “code” where girls do not go out with their friend’s exes.
Thing is, I’m going to college. I’m leaving the country. And if I wanted to spend time with him, the sooner the better.
I just wish we could love each other without hurting anyone else. And in this case, I don’t know what’s worth more. Love or dignity? Being happy, or respecting other people? help!!
So I confess…
- I helped cheat on one of my girl friends
- I told a guy with a girlfriend I loved him
- and worst of all, I think I might be willing to sacrifice my dignity to be with a guy.
help?? am I seriously deranged?
Sorry for the long confession.
deranged on July 30th 2008 in Love
Britany said on 02 Aug 2008 at 2:42 am # Quote
You need to do what makes you happy. I was with a guy for like 6 years and i ended it with him. In that process i fell in love with one of his former friends. He and i are now together and i and happier then i have ever been. I lost some friends along the way, but they weren’t true friends then. All you truly have in life is yourself, so you need to do what makes you happy!!!
Meghna said on 10 Aug 2008 at 11:18 am # Quote
if he can leave u for ur friend then he can leave u too for anyother friend of urs…..
good luck…
Sherika said on 23 Sep 2008 at 10:21 am # Quote
Both britney and meghan are right. If this guy left his girlfriend for u…he’ll leave u for someone else. Also if this is what u TRULY want..please dont let anyone stop u!!! Only ur TRUE FRIENDS or friend will be by ur side no matter wat. Also…if this guy boke up with his previous gf for no reason…then I think u shud jus go off to college and forget about it..there’ll be other opportunities
J said on 02 Oct 2008 at 6:54 am # Quote
Don’t let go the opportunity!!, I had the same problem with my actual boyfriend, we hang out for some time, but then he starts a relationship with one of my friends, but one day i realized that i was in love with him, so i started a relationship with him, my friends were happy for us, because we were friends, his ex was mad at me, but wathever, i have been happy for 7 years now, and believe me it was worth it!! what is for you is for you and thats all!!!, if after he starts the relationship with your friend, he still couldn’t forget you, is because you are really important for him, you don’t have nothing to lose. Even if your friends get mad to you, they will forget that with the time. When you get old the only thing that you regret is what you didn’t do not what you did.