RSSAll confused about my ex
I am 34, divorced, a single mother, and am middle class. After my seperation I dated someone (live out bf, who i wanted to be a live in) for about 3 years, off and on. We had a somewhat turbulent relationship. I was still sort of getting over my ex husband for part of the time. He helped me do that. He helped me feel i could make it on my own. Eventually he said he didn\’t feel important but i felt we had come a really long way and were better. Anyhow he broke it off finally for reals.
A few months after i met someone else and started dating this guy. What a super nice and sweet guy too! We are now living together an aside from somewhat boring sex and him being pretty busy with his life (writing a book and stuff), we have NO issues.
I asked my ex bf out for a drink and one thing lead to another and yes we had sex, and we did so about once a week for a month.
I have completely realized i still love my ex. I told my ex, and he seems to be scared to go out with me again.
I feel i have to end it with my partner and he didnt do anything at all to deserve this… I am afraid to do this because my child is rather attached to my new bf. Also because i love him, i am just so confused feeling that my ex is really the “one”. And whats even nuttier is that my ex does not seem to share these sentiments.
I could go on, get therapy, maybe anti-depressants and start to ignore my ex. We are no longer having sex. I feel if i tell my it will hurt him so much and thats so unfair. Also i could make a life with my bf, he is a good guy allt he way around. PErhaps i should just forgive myself, stay w. bf and get some meds to help me get over my ex? I am kind of pretty confused.
I am not an evil person, and i do not want to hurt people! I am not writing this to be judged but to sort of get a sense of what to do. Break with bf, live alone yearning for my ex, and hurt my kid and this sweet man? Make a huge play for my ex since i truly truly love him!???And hurt all? Or just forget my ex?
Gervan said on 11 Jul 2008 at 8:37 am # Quote
I think you need to have a talk with your new boyfriend. He at least deserves to not be played like a fool, which is exactly what you are now doing. He should know the truth about your ex-boyfriend, so that he may choose. If you are planning to possibly stay with him, then you must come clean.
Princess Starbucks said on 12 Jul 2008 at 2:31 am # Quote
your ex doesnt share the sentiments, why would you want him over the man you are with now that is “a good guy all way around” as you put it. I think you know the answer. Dont tell the new BF anything. Just stop all contacts with the ex and move on.
ashok said on 15 Jul 2008 at 4:14 am # Quote
U need to get ur head examined seriously since u r trying to play with 3 people—2 bf and one kid.U need to cut loose from ur earlier BF and stay with ur present BF.U should communicate with ur present BF about physical needs and take it from there.
Juni said on 15 Jul 2008 at 3:17 pm # Quote
Do what is best for your child.
Mark said on 28 Aug 2008 at 10:17 pm # Quote
Do what you think is best for your child.
Love, and sex is confusing.
If your not having good sex with this guy, then move on. I don’t have passionate sex with my wife and its killing me. I think that is necessary in a relationship over time. Hang in there and don’t let anyone judge you.
anonym said on 31 Aug 2008 at 5:44 am # Quote
I think you should do what is best for YOU. If you only want to spare other people from getting hurt you will probably end up hurting them big time, especially your child. Sacrificing your own happiness for someone else’s will eventually make everyone involved miserable. If you do feel you don’t love your bf, you shoul perhaps consider breaking up with him. Regardless of what might happen between you and your ex. If you think you would want to salvage your relationship with your bf (because of the relationship and NOT for his and/or your child’s sake), then and only then should you try to get over your ex and discuss physical problems with your bf. Try to listen to your inner self - what do your feelings suggest you should do. It might help you decide. As Mark said, hang in there (and no one has the rigth to judge you or anyone else for that matter).
:)