5years on+off

I have known this guy for 5 years. In the last 3 our feelings for each other have become stronger even though we have been on and off for the 5years I have known him for. Every guy I go with I compare them to him. I never get why though; he’s nothing special, he’s put on weight, he’s rude, worries what everyone thinks when he’s with me, the sex isn’t exactly amazing – I wouldn’t even say it’s good and it drives me ******* crazy, at times I even hate him!

But when I stop talking to him, I cant get him off my mind, he’s all I think about, all I want. When I talk to him, we don’t have a proper convosation. The only time he talks to me is when he has a free house and his parents are away and I know then that he wants sex and nothing else. Even though I don’t want to go, I end up going. I don’t always have sex with him but I still sleep in the same bed as him.

My friends hate him, I hate him at times, but I can’t forget about him!