Currently Browsing: Love


I think I’ve forgotten how to love. I can easily give myself away to someone and find it okay, because my heart’s not in it. But once someone tells me they care about me I feel a panic attack coming and I wanna run away and cry. It’s the exact thing that I look for, but I run away from it too. I’m too scared to let someone close enough to love me, or just to give my love to someone because I don’t want to be hurt. Not anymore. I want to be happy, and I tell myself to be happy with just myself and I am but sometimes it’s lonely. I’m rambling. Basically. I don’t know how to love someone, I have forgotten and even though I long for someone to make me remember how to love, I dread that day as well.

Unrequited Love?

My boyfriend told me he can’t love me more than he has already loved those  before me. He said he doesn’t fall “head over heels” in love anymore…I love him with every ounce of my being. He tells me this after bearing my soul to him, after expressing how deeply in love I am with him. What hurts most is, he told me in such a matter of fact way…it wasn’t as if he was breaking up with me. It was like we were discussing the weather. He said if love was on a scale of one to ten, he’s already been at ten. It hurts so bad to think about…to think that another girl got to make him feel that way, and there’s no chance I could make him feel that. It was like a kick in the chest. I don’t even know what I can do. I love him.


I have like this guy for 4 years and the sad thing is that he asked my sister out the other day!!!

Married but in love with someone else

I’ve been married for almost 15 years to my husband and I have two beautiful daughters who I love more than anything. I was never unfaithful to him all that time. We started having financial trouble about 7 years ago and it put a tremendous amount of strain and tension on us. I started feeling resentful, bored, unappreciated and just like a part of the furniture. The spark was gone and I began to question why I even married my husband. One night about a year and a half ago, I was feeling particularly bad and felt as though I was in a rut going nowhere fast. I was up late playing around on my phone when I came across an add for a dating website for married people. I had never heard of anything like that before and was in disbelief that a site like that existed. No one was up and I was alone and curious. So I clicked on the link. At first it was out of sheer curiosity, I saw pictures and profiles of men and women who seemed to be in similar situations as me. On a whim I decided to make a profile just to see if men still found me attractive and that I was still appealing to the opposite sex. I uploaded some pretty pictures and gave a brief description of myself and current situation. I didn’t expect the responses I received. So many men replied and said I was beautiful and super attractive. Many wanted to chat further and get to know me. I was scared but intrigued at the same time. This was the most exciting thing to happen to me in years. I felt like a women again and realized I still had what it takes to be appealing. I started to log in every night to see my messages. Each one gave me a renewed boost of confidence that I was so desperately seeking. Then one profile stood out and caught my eye. I saw his pictures, read his story and learned about the things he liked doing in his spare time. A lot of what he said connected for me. I was instantly attracted to his pictures. He was married for as long as I was , had two daughters, similar issues with his wife, and he lived right nearby. At that moment I decided to do something that I never in a million years thought I would do…I responded to his message. My hands were shaking as I typed out the words. I felt like I was committing a crime. Yet something about him was pulling me to keep going. I hit send and about an hour later got a response from him. We chatted for hours. We decided to text each other privately off the site. Before I knew it we were talking everyday for two weeks! We sent pictures back and forth of ourselves and our daughters. There was definitely a connection between us. He had been new to this as well and we both confided in each other how nervous we were. After another week of talking we decided to actually meet face to face to see if the spark was there in person. I was terrified! Was I actually doing this? Meeting another man? I was scared but something pulled me to him once again. We decided to meet in a public place since it was our first time meeting someone from online. We met at the mall in the shoe dept. of Nordstroms. We would “run into” each other as if we were both shopping and see if we had a connection like we did on the phone. As I walked to the department , I saw him from a distance. He looked even more attractive in person! I started to feel butterflies in my stomach as I walked up to him. I felt like a teenage girl seeing her crush. I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and gave me the warmest most amazing smile I’d ever seen. We looked at each other for a few seconds and started to talk as though we’d know each other for years. We didn’t stay long because both of us had daughters shopping in the mall that we had to meet up with. Before he left he asked to see me again. I felt such a rush in my stomach when he said that and before I could even think I heard myself saying “of course definitely”. We agreed to meet for coffee at the local Barnes and Noble the next morning. We left and about 30 seconds later he sent a text saying “you are amazingly beautiful I can’t wait to see you tomorrow” I blushed harder than I ever had since high school. I thought of him the rest of the day. When the next morning came we both were there waiting eagerly. It was a great meeting. We talked for about 2 hours, went for a walk and really found out so much about each other and how similar our life situation was. He walked me back to my car and we hugged. I felt so much at the same time. I was scared, excited, turned on and guilty. Then it happened…we kissed. Right in the parking lot in front of my car. It was almost like getting a jolt of electricity! I was shaking inside. We looked into each other’s eyes and we were hooked. We kissed again this time even longer and more intimately. His hands touched my face and I ran my fingers through his hair. It was the best kiss I’d ever had in my life. I felt at that moment that I just met the love of my life. Despite how wrong it was for both of us to be there we felt so right together. To sum this story up, we wound up seeing each other almost everyday for the rest of that week. We were like high schoolers meeting each other in anyplace we could even if for 10 minutes to steal a kiss, hug and just be in each other’s company. We slept together for the first time about a month later at his house. It was amazing. I never had anything like that with anyone else including my husband in all my years of marriage. I had fallen hard. That was over a year and a half ago. We are still together. We have shared so much together and I can’t imagine my life without him. We are both still married to our spouses. It’s very complicated for both of us to consider leaving, too many people’s feelings would be destroyed yet we have a love between us that is so good that somehow we make it work. I love him more than I’ve ever loved any man in my entire life. I love him so much it hurts. I love my kids and my husband is a great father but he could never give me what he does. My lover has my heart in no way anyone else could. I needed to be able to say this somewhere because I couldn’t keep it in. It’s wrong and I know I will get a lot of hate from people who read this but I don’t care. I love him with every fiber of my being and needed someone like him. I don’t know what the future holds and sometimes that thought keeps me up nights. It’s scary and uncertain but there’s no way I would ever dream of giving him up. Somehow , some way I want him here forever. Please try not to judge. It’s love and nothing more and no matter how it finds us I believe we all deserve to have it.


i’ve never was really in love and no one ever loved me

Odd love

There’s this person who’s really nice, caring, and smart. They put up with me even when I’m in a terrible mood, and stick around with me through the toughest of situations. They’ve got a great sense of humour, yet they still laugh at my terrible puns and jokes. They may not be the most beautiful, but the inner beauty they have radiates out. I consider them my best friend, but my admiration for her has extended beyond that.The problem isn’t that we’re both female (I’m pan, she’s bi), but that she’s in love with another girl, who’s probably a lot better than me.

hold your hand

Last night I took a shower to escape the screaming kids and be alone for a few minutes. I was thinking how happy I am that you are coming to visit this weekend. I was smiling I was excited and then I thought about holding your hand and I burst into tears I cried so hard for so long and I haven’t cried in years. I’m in love with you. You live an hour and a half away and it might as well be 8000 miles. You will never know how much out time together means to me and I can never tell you. Maybe one day things will change but until then I love you in secret. I think my girlfriend knows but she still loves me. She probably feels stuck if she didn’t have me She wouldn’t have anything. She can’t work and has no friends or family any where near. You want to explore the world but for me You are my world you are the greatest adventure I have ever had I could die happy if I could just hold your hand… I love you..

My true feelings

I don’t want this to be about old versus young, it is really about being in love with a successful man. I can’t help it, I don’t think anyone can help being in love. He is the man. That is all that I know. He is the man.

I have given him sex, because that is what the woman does, she gives the man sex. If the man has sex with her, then she is his and I am his.

I have gone to his house and I have met his wife and I have told his wife that I am in love with him and that I don’t mind at all that he is married to her and that he loves her. I know he loves me too. She was there first, and then it became my turn.

Instead of acting maturely and accepting the fact that I am also his, she wants him to either leave me or get a divorce. He isn’t going to get a divorce and he isn’t going to leave me, why?

Many men have had more than one woman or wife, just look at the bible and all of history. I believe it is the nature of a man, he wants a woman who can respond to him and I believe a woman who can bear children. His wife is too old for that. Once a woman stops being able to bear children, what should she do? She should embrace the new woman, because the new woman is going to make him happy and maybe hopefully bear him some more children.

He is not running around, her words not mine, he is just doing what nature wants him to do and nature wants a woman to do, to mate with a successful male. There are not enough successful males, so we share. That happens every day in the animal kingdom, one successful male with several females. I am ready to bear children and I want a successful male to father them. And as it happens I love him.

I’m in love with a person i cant be with!

Okay this is going to sound really weird, but i cant keep this bottled up inside. I’m in love with my teacher. I don’t know how or why, all i know is that i am. At first i was pretty okay with it, i mean just seeing her everyday would brighten up my day. Now i cant take it anymore. Have you ever felt what its like, to love someone so much that you feel like you can do anything? This is the worst form of torture anyone could ever experience. I love her so much and i cant do a damn thing about it. I wish she were my age or I was her age. If she was i would never have to look for another woman and spend the rest of my life with her. She is the most beautiful person i have ever met. Not appearance but for the person she actually is. I wanna shout it out to the world but i need her to know how i feel. If keep this hidden inside, i don’t know what i’ll do. Tonight i was watching “When Harry Met Sally” and all of a sudden i bursted into tears thinking of her. I don’t know how this has gotten to this point. I just don’t find girls my age attractive, probably because i keep comparing them to her. Now i found out she is engaged to this guy who is a teacher also. She even told me who her boyfriend or now fiancee was. When she told me that it was like someone opened me up and tore out my heart and fed it to a pack of wolves. Like if only she knew what that did to me or what this is doing to me. It’s like this is some cruel punishment that i have been bestowed upon. I found my equal, the person i cant live without but i cant be with her. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve tried so many times to move on because holding on this is only killing me on the inside. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I am the Other Woman

You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with. If I could, I don’t think I would have made so many mistakes in my relationships. After years of men making me feel like an object, an inconvenience, a chore, I finally found a man who appreciates and loves me for who I am and he just so happens to be one of my coworkers. Of course, he’s married. And I know I sound like every other woman who has had a relationship with someone unattainable, but I am not fooling myself. I know he won’t leave his wife for me, I won’t let him. I can’t be the thing that breaks apart his family or I would feel guilty forever. We have been seeing each other for a while now and his wife found out by tracking his phone. They almost divorced. After that, I know I should have ended things, but I haven’t. I love him. He’s the best thing that’s happened to me and I need his affection. I just got out of a 3 year relationship where I was constantly ignored and never made a priority. Now I have a man that wants to be with me, actually pays attention to what I say, and has never made an attempt to be sexual besides kissing and some touching. I truly believe he loves me. And while part of me feels like I deserve to be loved, another part of me feels sick because I have been on the other side of this equation. I have been the one being cheated on (in every one of my relationships, actually). And today his wife showed up at our work while he was out at a job site (I work in the office). She said it was to trade cars, but I know it was really to come see me. To size me up. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much. But this incident has shaken me to the core. He said he would take care of it, but now I’m re-evaluating myself. I don’t doubt our relationship, I’m doubting myself. What kind of person does that make me if I’m willing to put someone’s marriage in jeopardy for my own selfish reasons? I wasn’t raised to act like this, but I can’t help myself. And i think that’s my problem. “But.” If I can justify it to myself, maybe that will make it alright in the end. Maybe I can convince myself the love is enough. That I’m ok with him being with another woman besides myself as long as I still get to have part of him. I am a selfish human being. I do not deserve the love he gives me.

My Crush

My crush told me that it’s difficult not to look at me. He told me that I’m the cutest person he’s ever met. He told me that he feels wrong for having these feelings, but he can’t help it. I admitted that I feel the same way. He’s married, I’m in a long term relationship. Regardless, it made my day and I can’t stop smiling.

My secret thoughts

I fell in love with a guy, we had the perfect love story for a year, our marriage was planned for the next months, everything was good until he went bankrupt and had to leave the country (we both live in dubai) he is from pakistan i am from Morocco, I gave him my all, loved him with all my soul and after he left i solved his problem by taking back his bounced checks and saving his ass, meanwhile he decided he would never come back to dubai and left me here by myself, so here the problem started, i lost my mind, started inventing lies and problems so that he comes back, i even kissed one of my friends, who is in love with me, and started something with him, but at the same time i still call the pakistani guy, beg him, cry on the phone, then afterwards i go out with the yemeni guy and act as if all is good, when he kisses me i imagine the other guy.. i dont wanna say “my ex” because that hurts, for me we never broke up, for me everything will be okay, I go more further in the relationship with the yemeni guy, physically i mean.. some stuffs happened, we did not have sex as i am a virgin and would only give myself to the other guy.. I lied , I became a liar, I lie to the yemeni and tell him i never had anyone , and he wants to get married to me, I lie to my only love, and invent stories about me being sick, me being at the hospital, police station for problems that i invent, i feel trapped, i dont know what to do, i gave him all of me, he was my ONLY family and i lost it , sometimes i feel like ending it, like killing myself.. or like taking a plane and going to pakistan, but things are stopping me from doing it, for Pakistan my parents would kill me, they would be disappointed.. I am lost, I so want it to end, I secretly wish someone would just come and kill me.

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