Currently Browsing: Love

I’m in love with a person i cant be with!

Okay this is going to sound really weird, but i cant keep this bottled up inside. I’m in love with my teacher. I don’t know how or why, all i know is that i am. At first i was pretty okay with it, i mean just seeing her everyday would brighten up my day. Now i cant take it anymore. Have you ever felt what its like, to love someone so much that you feel like you can do anything? This is the worst form of torture anyone could ever experience. I love her so much and i cant do a damn thing about it. I wish she were my age or I was her age. If she was i would never have to look for another woman and spend the rest of my life with her. She is the most beautiful person i have ever met. Not appearance but for the person she actually is. I wanna shout it out to the world but i need her to know how i feel. If keep this hidden inside, i don’t know what i’ll do. Tonight i was watching “When Harry Met Sally” and all of a sudden i bursted into tears thinking of her. I don’t know how this has gotten to this point. I just don’t find girls my age attractive, probably because i keep comparing them to her. Now i found out she is engaged to this guy who is a teacher also. She even told me who her boyfriend or now fiancee was. When she told me that it was like someone opened me up and tore out my heart and fed it to a pack of wolves. Like if only she knew what that did to me or what this is doing to me. It’s like this is some cruel punishment that i have been bestowed upon. I found my equal, the person i cant live without but i cant be with her. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve tried so many times to move on because holding on this is only killing me on the inside. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I am the Other Woman

You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with. If I could, I don’t think I would have made so many mistakes in my relationships. After years of men making me feel like an object, an inconvenience, a chore, I finally found a man who appreciates and loves me for who I am and he just so happens to be one of my coworkers. Of course, he’s married. And I know I sound like every other woman who has had a relationship with someone unattainable, but I am not fooling myself. I know he won’t leave his wife for me, I won’t let him. I can’t be the thing that breaks apart his family or I would feel guilty forever. We have been seeing each other for a while now and his wife found out by tracking his phone. They almost divorced. After that, I know I should have ended things, but I haven’t. I love him. He’s the best thing that’s happened to me and I need his affection. I just got out of a 3 year relationship where I was constantly ignored and never made a priority. Now I have a man that wants to be with me, actually pays attention to what I say, and has never made an attempt to be sexual besides kissing and some touching. I truly believe he loves me. And while part of me feels like I deserve to be loved, another part of me feels sick because I have been on the other side of this equation. I have been the one being cheated on (in every one of my relationships, actually). And today his wife showed up at our work while he was out at a job site (I work in the office). She said it was to trade cars, but I know it was really to come see me. To size me up. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much. But this incident has shaken me to the core. He said he would take care of it, but now I’m re-evaluating myself. I don’t doubt our relationship, I’m doubting myself. What kind of person does that make me if I’m willing to put someone’s marriage in jeopardy for my own selfish reasons? I wasn’t raised to act like this, but I can’t help myself. And i think that’s my problem. “But.” If I can justify it to myself, maybe that will make it alright in the end. Maybe I can convince myself the love is enough. That I’m ok with him being with another woman besides myself as long as I still get to have part of him. I am a selfish human being. I do not deserve the love he gives me.

My Crush

My crush told me that it’s difficult not to look at me. He told me that I’m the cutest person he’s ever met. He told me that he feels wrong for having these feelings, but he can’t help it. I admitted that I feel the same way. He’s married, I’m in a long term relationship. Regardless, it made my day and I can’t stop smiling.

My secret thoughts

I fell in love with a guy, we had the perfect love story for a year, our marriage was planned for the next months, everything was good until he went bankrupt and had to leave the country (we both live in dubai) he is from pakistan i am from Morocco, I gave him my all, loved him with all my soul and after he left i solved his problem by taking back his bounced checks and saving his ass, meanwhile he decided he would never come back to dubai and left me here by myself, so here the problem started, i lost my mind, started inventing lies and problems so that he comes back, i even kissed one of my friends, who is in love with me, and started something with him, but at the same time i still call the pakistani guy, beg him, cry on the phone, then afterwards i go out with the yemeni guy and act as if all is good, when he kisses me i imagine the other guy.. i dont wanna say “my ex” because that hurts, for me we never broke up, for me everything will be okay, I go more further in the relationship with the yemeni guy, physically i mean.. some stuffs happened, we did not have sex as i am a virgin and would only give myself to the other guy.. I lied , I became a liar, I lie to the yemeni and tell him i never had anyone , and he wants to get married to me, I lie to my only love, and invent stories about me being sick, me being at the hospital, police station for problems that i invent, i feel trapped, i dont know what to do, i gave him all of me, he was my ONLY family and i lost it , sometimes i feel like ending it, like killing myself.. or like taking a plane and going to pakistan, but things are stopping me from doing it, for Pakistan my parents would kill me, they would be disappointed.. I am lost, I so want it to end, I secretly wish someone would just come and kill me.

Fake Online Dating Profile

I made a fake profile on a dating website with a photo of a random hot person. I’ve gotten hundreds of messages, but I never reply to any of them. I just read them and pretend they’re for me. =(

Broken Hearted Girl

Had a hopeless crush on this guy at school for about two years now. He knew that I liked him and led me on with mixed signals, but kept getting involved with several girls. I tried many times to just forget him but my heart refused to let go. Last night I found out that he possibly got his girlfriend (who’s cheated on him multiple times with a few guys at school and he KNEW, and was often depressed about it) pregnant. At first I was stunned and didn’t feel anything. Not long after, I felt a huge pang of hurt hit me. I’m just so angry and sad about the situation, but I guess it’s a wake up call to let go… Even the best thing in the world isn’t helping, and music usually helps heal my pain.

I love someone I can never have

I had an affair with a married man for a year and even though its over, I still love him so much and he will never be mine. He didn’t love me back and his behavior makes that clear. My heart aches everytime I think of him. Still.

Forbidden Love

Theres this guy in my school who i have a crush on but hes not gay… and i dont want to be gay… but i dream of him all the time…. what do i do

dying is beautiful

I want to watch someone stare at me as they try to breathe. I want them to panic, grasping and clawing desperately at everything around them. I want to listen to their pounding, panicked heart. I want them to fight for survival… And as they’re losing consciousness, I’ll let them breathe. I want to do this until they mentally break. I want them to worship me, and beg me to end their life. To separate them from their family and friends. I want them to leave their parents or children a note saying how their life’s purpose is to fall under the void of infinite rest. Today’s law enforcement can easily catch people, so I’d never act upon this. But in a no-man’s land, or abandoned island where government and laws don’t exist? I want to bring pain, suffering and blood to those that don’t deserve it. I want them to cry I’m agony and anguish, I want them to beg for death. I’d remove their eyes… And then their heart, and force them to swallow it.

Just saying. It’s a shame such pleasant thoughts will never happen.

I love you and love you too

I met a woman three months ago at this club not far from my home, Her mere presence twists me inside and out. I’ve seen her four times. Not on a formal date or anything, I asked her, but she kept being non-committal, but telling me to come back and visit her and we’ve kept in touch sporadically by e-mail.

The last time I saw her I whispered in her ear that I wanted to be her boyfriend. She told me to keep messaging her, you’re winning. Not sure what that meant exactly, but I didn’t ask.

I told her I was heading home for the night and we embraced and kinda pecked a few kisses at each other. She asked me to stay a little longer to come have a dance with her, I said I have to go and we hugged. She asked me on a dinner date for the next day and I said without thinking I already had plans. She told me to then come back and visit her next Friday. I said I’ll try, and embraced her. To my surprise she told me. I love you. Without thinking, I said I love you too and walked out.

We’ve messaged each other a couple times by e-mail but that moment hasn’t been mentioned. I don’t regret saying it and it felt good. I hope she doesn’t regret it either.

Future Husband

I fantasize and day dream (and over think) incredibly a lot . I fantasize about my future husband a lot, us on our honeymoon, us having sex, his smooth dark skin embracing me, and him just accepting me as I am . I am a virgin and I want to save myself for marriage as the last thing I give up in becoming one with my husband, and as a gift for loving me and being here till death do us part . I know I’ll love him so much, but I just get scared no one will want to marry me, ever .

I don’t care if I’m seen as childish for this, I just have all this love that I can’t just give out to anyone that comes along . So future husband out there, I love you so much.

A Hopelessly Complicated Situation

My best friend recently came out as pansexual. This was shortly after I fell in love with her. I’m a 17 year old guy and a senior in high school, so is she, minis the guy part of course. We’ve known each other for eight years and have become really good friends this year. I was afraid to tell her how I felt because I was worried it would ruin our friendship and I couldn’t stand that. She had a girlfriend for a while and that was hard to deal with but I found out from one of our mutual friends that she has feelings for me. A little while after her girlfriend dumped her I was going to tell her how I felt but then she started dating this other guy. I hate seeing her with him and I want to tell her how I feel but I’m just scared. Even though she has feelings for me I can’t tell her because I can’t accept that she would like me. I’m overweight and really awkward. But something just feels right between us. I really think we could work but I’m too afraid it would fail and at the moment so is she. Basically we both really like each other but were both too afraid to mess up this friendship that neither of us will do anything about it.

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