Porn-a-holic

We’ve talked about it, we’ve fought about it.

I’ve told him that I don’t like the fact that he stares at so many random naked strangers, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel my boyfriend is OBSESSED with porn. It seems like every time I walk out of the room, he opens up his ‘Secret Guy Stuff’ folder and starts browsing.

Maybe not EVERY time, but I’ve walked into the room enough times to glance at him quickly closing a window full of naked women sprawled when he hears me approaching to make me feel suspicious and uneasy every time I turn my back.

He does it so often that I wonder if it is normal. Sometimes he has even stayed up for hours, just looking at porn, way past the time I get in bed. Or, on other days he doesn’t even try to hide it and just stares at it for hours, seemingly all day long.

I try not to get jealous of these random strangers that he is ogling and basically eye-raping, but I really cant help it.

I hate it. Do I have to just get used to it? Is there any man who isn’t sexually obsessed out there?

14 thoughts on “Porn-a-holic

  1. its a terrible sickness when it is something they cannot seem to control. completely normal runs right through the door into another world where everything and everyone is easier than a pig roast on uncle John’s Pig farm. It depends on the will power and sincere intensions of the individual…their maturity levels and mental limitations.
    if u feel it is something that is getting more attention than ur real relationship…than it’s a problem that he is refusing to take seriously and u might want to reconsider spending much more of ur precious time and youth years on it. take it from one who’s been on that road for years..

  2. I hate porn the bible tells us to hate what is bad.My husband loves porn he even lost a job because he watched it there to. I always catch him watching it after I go to bed .I feel like he loves it more than me.

  3. well i for one stopped watching porn when i got together with my girlfriend, and i didnt start again until we stopped having sex. maybe if you guys have sex more, he will stop?

  4. Some of these close-minded, judgmental responses are a stark reminder that Puritanism is alive and well.

    Is his solo activity adversely affecting his ability to carry on normal sexual relations with you, or impacting his ability to do his job or otherwise function in society? If not then, by definition, it’s not a problem. He’s not “eye-raping”. He has a strong libido and has found a safe outlet for it. You should be commending him, not acting like a prison warden.

    As for whether you should leave him, unless there’s something actually wrong with the relationship I think the question is absurd. If you hound him like the secret police and try to force him to subjugate his sexuality then eventually he’ll be the one doing the leaving.

    1. Prison warden? That’s laughable! I am the most easygoing, understanding person that I literally can think of. I appreciate you playing the devil’s advocate here, but I believe these responses left before are far from Puritanism.

      I left my last response over a year ago, and little has changed since then. Just this past Christmas he asked for a ‘fleshlight’– the blue Avatar alien-shaped vagaina one… Of course I got it for him, but what kind of message does that infer for me? I can’t see any meaning other than I am sexually inadequate for him? Which is funny, being as in the past people have commented on my own voracious ‘libido,’ and I’ve had sex with almost 20 people and I’m his third one ever.

      I really believe that his/our problem originates from a much more inherent problem within himself than me being any sort of ‘prison warden.’ If, like you say, he choses to leave me over this, than I bid him good luck finding some other pervert who is as sex-obsessed as he is. Right now it’s 5:18am and I went to bed at 1am, and here I lay, awake and wondering what he could be doing downstairs all by himself, with his laptop. He may infact be playing Wii soccer, but just based on past experiences I find him suspect of something else, and that should mean something in itself. I don’t wear paranoia well.

    2. no one has said watching porn is bad. it’s perfectly normal for both genders. it’s when they’re OBCESSED with it, that it becomes worrying!
      stop judging her. tbh i think she’s been very easy going about it!

  5. I would probably advise to leave him. His obsession is quite worrying and although it is common for BOTH (and not all) men and women to look at porn, he sounds like he is taking it to the extreme. Have you tried talking to him reasonably about it? Tell him you don’t think it’s normal and if he doesn’t change you will leave. I couldn’t be dealing with it myself! Good luck.

  6. Ok, so…. TODAY. It’s been a while since I posted here, and I thought everything has been going along OK….. I havn’t seen any porn around for at least a couple months now. BUT!!!!!! Read this!!!

    I sent my BF out to the store to get some tomatoes, about 10 minutes after I left I went outside to pick some lavender and I saw our car was parked at the bottom of our driveway. I ran up to the car, and he QUICKLY covers something on the center console with his sweatshirt!!! I was like what is that!!! And he refused to show it to me. I just saw him get home, and he has a fricken bottle of lube in his pocket!!! BUSTED!

    It’s not like we have a bad sex life, we have sex AT LEAST once a day! WTF Sicko!! I’m starting to get concerned…

    1. Omg, sex AT LEAST once a day?! 0_o Wtf is wrong with this guy, he is a total sex-a-holic. You should leave him.

  7. If he is looking at porn, then he is contemplating sex with other women. Get rid of him. He has cheated, is cheating or absolutely will cheat!

    1. Not necessarily, lots of guys look at porn, it may not mean he wants to have sex with them though. I’m not entirly sure why men look at porn, it may just be part of their male instincts. He might not be cheating.

      1. Resisting urge to reach through the internet and smack you.

        I’m a woman and I’ve been looking at porn since I was brand new into adolescence. There’s no “instinct” in looking at something on technology. Voyeurism is the term you’re looking for, when people watch other people have sex and the like, but even then, there’s nothing intrinsic about it.

        Where do you even get that kind of ridiculous idea?

  8. Every Guy looks at porn; But there is a limit. He sounds like he has a serious problem. i really cannot blame you for being upset by this. if it is really this bad then give him the choice between you and real nookie or the porn. if he chooses the porn then leave him.
    You deserve better than a perve and yes there are many many men who are not obsessed with that crap

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