I am jealous of everything who you are and what you have got

Dear E,

I’m writing to you to let you know I’m jealous of what you have achieved in life. Since we were in highschool we had an unspokeable agreement that we would compete in life.

You got your L’s first, I got my p’s first and then you got your full licence first.

Hey I still think your unattractive with your horse-face and long nose. Yet you have the best fiancee. Good-looking, great personality a lot of fun. And I’m sure you pressured the guy to marry you after all, why would he want to be with you forever if you refuse to do sexual things with him like bjs and hjs. Even though he has asked you plenty of times and respected your wishes not to do so.

While I’m with a guy for six years, who I have bended over backwards for. I love my guy to bits, I have done sexual things that you would deem disgusting and yet I have no ring, never been on a holiday with him, it took him almost four years to finally hold my hand in public etc.

All I can say is why does everything go to you? Why do you get to be engaged after dating for four years while I have been with my boyfriend for six.

Why does your fugly face make me want to scream that you don’t deserve any of what your fiancee does for you because you are so self-centred and self absorbed with stupidity.

I have hidden your status updates on FB because everything you write concerns your job (Hello you are not going to get a full time teaching job after leaving univesrity a six months ago.)What the **** was it you going on about wanting old teachers to hurry up and retire so you can get a job. You sick muppet. Or you post “I love my fiancee so much, he is so beautiful.” WTF His family sees that and sees you as an immature person you are.

All I can say is I sit seething in jealousy of what you have got and I am still on the waiting end.

7 thoughts on “I am jealous of everything who you are and what you have got

  1. why are you concentrating all of your time on someone elses life, mind your own business. you should be worried about what you have goin g on and what you want in life. maybe if you didnt wast your time being so jealous you could focus on your own relationship and then maybe it would go like you want it to.

  2. You need to start looking at what you DO have and start being greatful and appreciative for that. Then you’ll find you wont give two fucks what she has anymore because you’ll “have” too and wont feel laxking anymore :P

    Its as simple as finding 5 things a day to be greatful about. Corny but true. Just by doing it you start to create the habit and it becomes who you are. It takes 21 days to make/break a habit. This is how you be/change who you are as a person.

  3. You should read Eckhart Tolle to help you break this negativity. It’s toxic to you and others and there is a better way to live. Good luck.

    1. I am reading A New Earth right now. It’s amazingly helpful, but you have to do the work and detach from thoughts. Jealousy is toxic – I know first hand, and have to work on my feelings of jealousy daily. You have to really want to be free of living in a personal prison. We all create our own realities. It’s a tough lesson.

  4. Stop wasting your energy on negative thoughts. Use that energy to do positive things (i.e. help someone in need. Go to a shelter and volunteer your time to help make a difference in someone else’s life – someone less fortunate; maybe this will help you change your focus). If you feel that upset over your friend’s happiness then reflect on how you can improve your own life and find the happiness that you so desperately want. You seem very unhappy with your own life (with your boyfriend). It sounds like you are wasting your time with your current boyfriend and feel you can do better. Then seriously, move on from that relationship and don’t settle. Comparisons are a waste of time. Negative thoughts are a waste of time. Be happy for your friend that she is happy. Envying others is a terrible thing to do and accomplishes nothing.

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