If only i could forget…
Posted by A. in Hate on Feb 21st, 2009 | 6 commentsI keep trying to forget in every possible way but it keeps hunting me back at night. My huncle used to perv on my when i was younger between the age of 4 and 9. He was over 40. He used to create games when we were alone where he used to push him self upon me and touch me in a certain way. I had no idea what was going on and only realized what he was doing when i got older and i have no dubts now of what he was doing. It couldnt have gotten any worst because as much as i was young it always felt weird to me and i was a smart kid but i didnt think i had to worry as he was family. It makes me sick. I somehow feel guilty for letting it happen because i always felt there was something wrong with it but did not know what to do. I hate him and i want to make him pay for what he is making me feel now but i dont know what to do. It was over 10 years ago but as time gets by i only feel worst about it. I honestly think he has no idea i remember or realize but now we are not talking dued to other family issues but i really want him to know i remember everything but i cant now because it would hurt my grand mother (his mother) too much.. I really want to make him pay for what i feel now but i dont know what to do. I have nightmares about it where i confront him and he starts getting abusive. I try to forget but i cant. I wish i could ignor it and move on with my life but I want revenge.
6 Responses to “ “If only i could forget…”
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You won’t ever forget it. My uncle abused me from the time I was 3 till I was 15 he is now in prison and will b getting out soon. I’m an adult w/ 3 kids now and still have not been able to come to grips with it. I hope he dies a slow painful death.
hey revenge is something which we plan for other & but somewhere it effect us also…..try n keep urself busy with anything…..pray to almighty….n trust me every one has to pay for his deeds …..
Ivy is right, you won’t ever forget.
But you Can go to therapy and make it easy for you. :) I wish you the best!
~Phantom~
Do something to let him know that what he did was wrong. Bring the truth out by talking to the cops and let your uncle know what he did was wrong so he can get some help. Please tell someone that will do something about it.
First of all, you did nothing wrong and what your uncle did was not your fault. You need to tell someone because sexual predators never seem to stop, they just move on to another victim (grandchildren, etc). I don’t know if he has any young children that are accessible to him, but if he does you need to tell someone. You need to tell someone even if he doesn’t just for your own peace of mind. Look up and call the number for your local abuse hotline. Let them know what happened to you. Even if your uncle is no longer perping on little kids, he needs to face what he has done to you and know what pain he has caused. Do not worry about the pain of others (his mother) they don’t have to live with your pain, you do. Do what is best for you and not them. Good luck and God be with you.
It was not your fault, and he needs to be reported. If you don’t want to upset your Grandmother you can arrange a meeting with a councillor and then later one with him there and the councillor there for support, moral and physical if needed.
You are not alone and you should know there is always support out there, be it helplines or the internet.