I wish I could go back in time…

I hate my husband. If I could go back in time and never meet him, I would do so. Even if it means not having my kids. All we do is fight. I hate having my kids grow up with him as their father. He lectures me, constantly, over every little thing. Every day I cry just thinking about how much I hate him.
I have tried to file for divorce twice, but he will not “allow” it to happen. He has hit me, broken my nose, dislocated my jaw and tells me that he is going to kill me…all of which, of course, was my fault. He’s gone to jail over it , but always likes to tell me that (since I try to fight back to defend myself) I should be the one who goes to jail. Anymore, I just tell him to go ahead and put me out of my misery. I don’t care anymore. And then he likes to feel sorry for himself because I don’t want to be intimate with him.
He has “attempted” to commit suicide a couple of times, to teach me a lesson. I wish that this last time I would have just ignored him instead of taking him to the hospital, so he could have succeeded.

12 thoughts on “I wish I could go back in time…

  1. Go to a local women’s shelter and take the kids with you. Get out of there. I have been in a similar situation. My husband was bipolar and I didn’t know it. Life can be better. I got a divorce, found a good man and we have been together for thirty years.

  2. It is likely much more damaging to your kids to witness this abusive relationship than to have their parents split up. Hurt people hurt people.

    Stop the cycle.

    For yourself and your kids – GET OUT! Think, plan, secretly save, enlist allies, then execute with cold precision.

    It takes tremendous strength and internal fortitude to be in a situation like this. You are strong. You can do what you need to do to save yourself and give your children a chance at a different future. Do it.

  3. I feel terrible for you! I have been in somewhat similar situations, but thankfully I have a issue with commitment, so I just run away
    Plus I only had 1 child from someone who bolted quick. I hope you are able to escape soon

  4. You should try to get away from him with your kids. Call friends, family, someone you trust. You can’t let your kids grow up with that man.

  5. You should really divorce him,, and have the kids come with you. It’ll be better for you and the kids because like you said…you hate having your kids in that type of environment. Kids should never be put in the middle or in that type of environment. You should really leave…

  6. Please leave him. Don’t wait until you and/or your children. There’s places you can go. With your kids. And they’ll help you with getting a divorce. My heart goes out to you.

  7. If I ever win the lottery, I will help you out! I wish I could help you now, but all I can do is offer emotional support. You can get out! Don’t give up!

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