I wish I could go back in time…

I hate my husband. If I could go back in time and never meet him, I would do so. Even if it means not having my kids. All we do is fight. I hate having my kids grow up with him as their father. He lectures me, constantly, over every little thing. Every day I cry just thinking about how much I hate him.
I have tried to file for divorce twice, but he will not “allow” it to happen. He has hit me, broken my nose, dislocated my jaw and tells me that he is going to kill me…all of which, of course, was my fault. He’s gone to jail over it , but always likes to tell me that (since I try to fight back to defend myself) I should be the one who goes to jail. Anymore, I just tell him to go ahead and put me out of my misery. I don’t care anymore. And then he likes to feel sorry for himself because I don’t want to be intimate with him.
He has “attempted” to commit suicide a couple of times, to teach me a lesson. I wish that this last time I would have just ignored him instead of taking him to the hospital, so he could have succeeded.

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