I Hate my Life

I hate my life. I constantly want to die or live someone else’s life. I’m overweight, ugly, and acne ridden. People don’t think I’m pretty. I’m really ugly. I’m not the ind of girl who people date. I’m secretly pansexual, and my parents are 287654% against same-sex relationships. Last summer, they convinced me that God was against them, and I confessed to them that I’d dated a girl. Now I’m not allowed to have my phone in my room and they try to talk to me about it all the time. My friends at school all think I’m lying about being straight, and they would all be supportive, but I’m too scared to tell them and seek support because my parents might find out. I’ve only ever come out to two people in real life. I tried to tell my best friend one time, but I got so scared that I lied and told her I was just kidding to see how she’d react. I’m so stressed out that I constantly chronically masturbate/watch porn, diet or hurt myself to forget everything.
I want to die.

10 thoughts on “I Hate my Life

  1. Reach out now to an LGBTQ group in your area, because if nothing else: know you are not alone. It will be easier when you know there is nothing wrong with you. Because: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

    I want to send you happiness, unicorns, love and rainbows but that is not life. Life is going to be difficult – but the thing that will give you the most happiness in life is being 100 percent yourself. Now may not be the best life-time if you are facing resistance – but it could also be the people you love prodding for a way to connect. No-one knows how to read them better than you. use your judgement and gut feelings to decide what you want to reveal.

    You sound like you are in high school – or at least living closely at home. there is an entire supportive world out there – past your door – which wants nothing more than to give kids like you a chance.- I say “kids like you,” not to generalize – but so you understand You.Are.Not.Alone. You are not alone.

    I’ve been in rooms where, during some silly icebreaker, we are asked to say something different about ourselves and without fail at least one someone will stand up and say “I’m transgendered.” or “I’m pansexual” or “I’m asexual” and others will look at them and say OK. Just OK. OK. This has happened in EVERY icebreaker situation I’ve attended – and I’m old, I’ve been to plenty!

    It is not weird, or bad or life-halting – it is just who they (and you) are, and that is OK. We continue throughout the course of our project and the only criteria for success is hard work. Apart from what you may be feeling in your personal NOW life, there is a larger community ready to accept you. Ready to embrace you. Ready to tell you it will be OK – not at every minute of everyday- but know the most important parts of your life it will be OK.

  2. I want to end my life but I’m too scared to kill my self. I’m fat and ugly every time I’m with a guy and one if my girlfriends comes over they want to hook up with them or they do hook up with them. The only thing they want from me is their dick sucked I guess that is what I’m good at but nit good enough to keep anyone all my life I’ve been cheated on lied to abused told what a piece of shit I am and no one will ever love me I’ll be alone all my life and won’t amount to anything I’m a loser. So far no matter how positive I am it’s true I’m just used. I don’t want to live any more my kids are grown they don’t need me and they only like me when they want something. What is the point

  3. I feel the same way but for other reasons I constantly feel suicidal and watch porn/masterbait its horrible just remember your not alone I will not kill myself because things could get better

  4. Honestly if your parents are not going to except you for who you are that’s f***** up and that is not your fault at all. everybody will accept you for you as long as you pick the right people tell your friends don’t be a shamed to see at all be loud and proud about being who you are. who cares if you I think don’t you’re pretty because no body does I don’t but someone out there does a lot of people out there do. You would think people are and attractive to but that’s life. But some people wouldn’t think you’re attractive but some people wouldn’t think you’re attractive don’t beat yourself up about it you’re just not the type everybody has different taste not everybody can see everybody as pretty handsome gorgeous ugly everybody sees everybody different and that’s not your fault at all you need to realise you given one life one you either need to move away from your family and I know that’s hard to say because I’m just a random I don’t understand but it’s it’s my opinion so take it or leave it but I’m supporting you and I don’t know you that has a show a lot and I believe in you that you can tell your friends and then you change your life you really can love the Australian girl

  5. Suicide isn’t the answer. You have to know what you are fighting. The enemies are these parasitic entities that are pure evil and they feed off of your energy. Chronic masturbation is right up their alley. Your not getting any payoff out of this they are. You are the boss God has given you power. Look up how to defeat archons. It is possible I have done it.and the feeling is great and at peace. Something they don’t want you to have.

  6. I completely agree with ^^^^^^^. Don’t worry about your parents right now. Seek help for yourself. Be independent this new year. It’s easier said then done. Now i am not trying to offend you, only giving you advice on what has helped me in the past. “God doesn’t give you a battle He thinks you can’t ignore.” You can take that however you’d like. With a grain of salt perhaps. Just remember that you have a purpose in this life. It’s not meant to be easy. We all have our rough journey. This is yours. You can do this! Please keep us updated this new year!

  7. 1. Don’t worry about how you look. Other things in life are funner.

    2. Why are you afraid of your stupid parents? What can they do?

    3. Be grateful for your friends. Open up to them, and you’ll be happy.

    4. Don’t hurt yourself. That’s f****** stupid. It doesn’t do anything. Trust me, in a 10 years when you’ll be all grown up with a family and all, you’ll look back and be lightly ashamed of being so silly as a teenage girl.

    From the looks of it, your life doesn’t suck. I mean, how you look at things all depends on you. Your feelings and your thoughts are both dependent on each other. You can change your thoughts.

  8. Hey.. I am going to break the GUY CODE just this once…., Guys would rather have a girl who is a 5, but a ten in the sack. Then a 10, who is a donkey in bed. Oh yea…, any woman who watches PORN gets 5 points added instantly.
    5+5= 10 see??!!

  9. I tried taking my life once . BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER . Loves those that love you for who you are and still love those that are trying to understand you for the person that you are. No one is perfect . The kardashians are not perfect , the paid to be perfect . Your still young you will meet a girl that will love you and you’ll love her the same . focus on loving yourself more

  10. Dear Friend,

    Please don’t ever harm yourself. Feeling as if you want to die probably indicates that you are in a lot of emotional pain. Call today and find a therapist who can assist you with self acceptance. Also if there is any LGBTQ agencies or services in your area, go there and be among others who also understand you and what you’re dealing with. Take care now and let us know how things turn out.

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