I Hate Being Stepmother

Being a stepmother is a straight nightmare. I never wanted children of my own but fell in love with a man who has his son 85 percent of the time and thought I could hack it. My stepson disrespects me even though I have bent over backwards for him. Visitation with his mother is very muchto her convenience. She drives a nice car and lives in a wealthy neighborhood yet she only pays $100 a month in child support! My husband refuses to remodify the payments because he doesn’t want to cause waves . I can kind of see his point of view however the situation leaves me financialy drained. It’s just not fair to me. And though I have been more of a mother figure than his mom I am not treated as an equal. I am becoming increasingly unhappy with the situation and have bailed before but I truly love my husband and have yreturned to try to make things work. However, as bad as this sounds I really feel nothing at all for my stepson. He is 8 years old and I am oanyawaynly going through the motions of being a stepparent. I am relieved when he is at his mother’s house and enjoy the time away from him. I dread when he comes back. I would never harm him in anyway but I wish so badly that he he would just go live with his mother. I can honestly say if I never saw him again I wouldn’t shed a tear or miss him one single bit! It would be AWSOME if he moved out of state and I could never see him again. I love the alone time my husband and the only reason I have lasted this long is because I love him so much. I know this may sound selfish but I miss my husbang

9 thoughts on “I Hate Being Stepmother

  1. Well it’s up to you to carry on with this relationship. Your husband and son come together and that’s the deal.either suck it up and stick with it… Forever having the kid that you dont really love in your life, messing up your home, taking your time and energy, when hes older smoking pot, getting in trouble with the police and trashing your nice house with his friends when he’s a teenager. or you could run for the hills and find yourself a partner who is on the same page and doesn’t want kids either.

    I am in a similar situation, my partner has a 9 yr old and I just can’t be bothered with him, so we are breaking up come September when my new house is finished. Chapter closed. I tried being a step mum, didn’t like, so I’m changing my life for the better.

    Get out while you can! I thought I was madly in love with my partner 3 years ago, but he’ll no, not anymore. Love doesn’t last but your own happiness, good lifestyle and freedom does.

    Good luck.

  2. Pray! I have a stepdaughter and I feel the same way! I want my own kids one day and she just is turning me off towards having kids sometimes! It really does suck.

  3. I have a step dad and I see now that while I was about the same age I treated him like crap, just wanting my parents back together. Now I realize that he is the best thing that could have happened to my mom as she and my dad were very unhappy and I love him to bits. We never got along until I was in my teens and realized how bratty I was acting. Just give it a few years, he’ll get there

  4. You need to grow up. You can’t ask your husband to give up his son, and you can’t blame an eight year old boy for not loving you immediately. He’s still a child, of course he loves his mother, and you can’t expect him to love a strange woman who married his father right away. You confess you only go through the motions of being a stepmother and you left, why should he trust you? If you can’t handle being this boy’s stepmother, you shouldn’t be his father’s wife. It’s that simple.

  5. Is part of the problem that you don’t feel supported by your husband? Does he fully recognise your efforts toward your stepson? Does he defend you to his son or ex-wife? If not, perhaps this is an issue that needs to be addressed? Thinking of you xxx

  6. Why does it leave you financialy drained, doesn’t your husband work? If you want to see if he thinks more of the kid than you, sit him down and tell him that the kid will give you as much respect as him, or out the door you go. You said you’d left before, so don’t be supprised if you hear the door close behind you rather sharply.

  7. Welcome to parenthood. These feelings are exactly what I go through as a bioligical mother, I hate my kids half the time! But listen, if you truly love him, you must know their a package deal. And you weren’t always there, your son might wish you’d move far away too.

    The most valuable piece of advice I can give is this; Time moves slowly when you are dreading the moments, but the truth is he’ll be 14 in 6 years, and he’ll constantly be gone with his friends, and involved in video games, you’ll hardly have to deal with him, patience is a virtue, and in the end, if you stick it through, you will have a son out of it, who will always respect you, even if you can’t feel it now.
    He might love you more than his bio- mother in the end. Parenting is hard and ugly work, but kids grow up fast and the reward is priceless.

  8. I can understand that you are in a difficult position. Why not get family therapy in order to help figure this out.
    There are also tons of information on this subject at the library and on line. Try not to take this out on your stepson because he’s a child. He is only behaving the way he knows how and is being treated. Take care now and talk to your husband about this issue so as to find more balance.

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