I hate being his wife

We have almost been married two years, and though I do love him…I HATE being his wife. I hate being his cook, his maid, his social planner…I love being a stay at home mom, and don’t mind cleaning up after our son, cook for him, taking care of him…sure it’s tiring sometimes, sure there are frustrating days. But it’s being HIS WIFE that I hate.

I hate that he seemingly takes advantage of the fact I clean the house and therefore never bothers to clean up after himself, leaving his boxers on the floor of the bathroom sometimes..tracking crap in from outside. Cleaning his dishes on the counter, for the secret “maid” to clean up..”oh I was going to put those away” sure you were…when pigs f’ing fly.

I know it would KILL him to pick up a broom, empty the dish washer or take laundry down without being asked. Oh wait, he has never once picked up a broom around this house.

Sure he does take care of us. But man, I hate the day to day of being his wife. Like I want to sleep with a man who leaves the toilet so dirty it looks like a outdoor concert outhouse! Who wants to have sex with a person that disgusting?!

I guess having a penis and being the sole provider means you are incapable of cleaning up after yourself.

I hate his snoring and the way he startles when I come to bed, so late because I have to wait till he is past the INSANELY loud snoring stage otherwise, I will never get to sleep. I hate that he jumps out of bed, even though I crept in and made no noise. I want to just smack him one. Mean, I know…but it means that he has to go through the INSANELY loud snoring phase AGAIN!

So I am left awake till 7am!

I hate the way he will just leave his tshirts in huge stack because he is too lazy to hang them up or he knows it will drive me so batty from having them just laying around, that I will give in and do it myself.

I hate the fact he can keep his stuff so neat and tidy, but he can’t stop screwing up the $1000 stroller I paid for because he can’t stop hitting the walls or bumping into door frames with it.

I should have made him pay for it, then maybe he would see value in it.

I hate the fact he broke the raincover for the stroller from doing something I KEPT asking him not too…and now bitches it’s broken.

I hate that they are “his” DVD’s and because of that, they are kept in perfect shape, yet he doesn’t give a crap about anything that he deems “yours”.

I hate the way he is always sick too, whenever I am.

I hate the way he thinks it ok to lay in the clean bed in clothing he wore outside and is dirty.

I hate the fact he leaves the bathroom CD player cord hanging loose ALL the time, so the baby pulls it down and almost bonks it on his head.

I hate the fact he cannot pick up a cloth and wipe the highchair in the morning after the baby has breakfast on his shift.

I hate the fact, if he feels he hasn’t had enough sleep and yet the baby is up and wants food, he tries to force him to sleep longer. And gets mad that the baby is upset by this.

I hate how frustrated he gets over stupid trivial things, that most people wouldn’t give a crap about.

And I hate that his frustration wears off on me, and now I have lost my laid back nature.

46 thoughts on “I hate being his wife

  1. I’m married to a man who was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive. (I, myself, was also… not a good mix…) We visited church and a marriage counselor. The result: same old shit. He got sick :) and still tried to be physically abusive. I kicked his ass :P Physical abuse solved. He tried to remain mentally abusive. I matured… and withheld sex. Hah! The verbal abuse continued until I used his deepest secrets and insecurities to rip him a new one. Lol. My sisters and I still laugh about it.
    We have kids, due to previous sex. I haven’t ****** him in years, and I never will again. He knows it, but denial is a beautiful thing. I’ve had two boyfriends, since I can’t afford to divorce him. (Few more months of saving to pay Massa Uncle Sam for mys ole freedoms papers.) My ex was a year long courtship rekindled from a high school relationship. We are still friends because we C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E well and respect one another. My current is… the marriage counselor… long-term. Burn! (I pursued him. I know all about erotic and counter-erotic transference. I am who I am; he is who he is; the situation is what it is; and we both accept it… every chance we get :)
    Did I mention I’m the breadwinner? Well, I am. I enjoy spending my money on my family because it makes them happy. My unprofessional suggestion (not professional advice) to you, HaterWife in Hate, is:
    1. Get an income (sell cookies or your cookies… heehee, songs, ebay, whatever) because it will give you a sense of financial independence.
    2. Have a maid or cheap crack- or meth-head (always watch these thieves) clean your home because it will make you feel superior to someone.
    3. SEXercise your husband as often as possible while providing healthy, low-fat meals. This is optional, ASSuming you want your marriage to work. The alternative is obvious.
    The moral to the story is productive relationships have a wealth of respect, communication, compromise, financial responsibility, and probably some other shit.
    Marriage is awesome, but divorce rocks!

    1. lol yeah right you made my day or should I say night being that it is now 1.39am and I was on here looking for a way out of my self created miserable situation. I like the points you made and have a few ideas in mind now and I also don’t feel guilty for feeling this way neither, 10 years is a long enough F**king time to waste on a person who so obviously doesn’t deserve it. Maybe someday he will find the woman who makes him truly happy and a better man, I just don’t think I’m her and I don’t want to waste the rest of my life hoping for something that might never happen. I think that ship has sailed. So unhappy wife all power to you and I hope you find your own happiness soon :-)

  2. My husband has hated me since he & I said ‘I Do’. That’s been 45 years ago! We only had sex once in all those years and he hated it. He promised he would never do it again with me or any one else. Our lives moved in two different directions, he worked nights and I days, he moved to the basement and I upstairs. Then he moved to an all together different house across town. We only really see each when we go to the tax person. Its been a horrible existence! All I’ve done is visit my shrink and personal care doctor. I live day to day with my meds.

    1. Wow Amy, your husband is a jerk and might be gay? I can’t imagine being with such an ungrateful guy. You seriously need to get out there and find someone who can make you happy for the rest of the life you have left. Hope your situation improves. Kc

    2. Is this for real? Seriously-ONCE in 45 years, and then leading seperate lives?Look, I do not judge-but why didn’t either of you leave in the beginning?

  3. Now, this is beginning to sound like a hoax.. They don’t take children out of the home if one parent is loving and stable.. This whole thing is just too ironic.. First the woman’s friend posts then her man-child husband.. Who, btw claims he “found her open post….?” at 4 am? Then why was his post time dated for 9 pm.. Sounds like BS to me

  4. There is physical abuse starting in this relationship.. IMO this means she has no choice but to get out.. And the baby’s father may not even fight for custody,, sounds very likely that he wants nothing to do with the child, it”s what he has said.. If he has any morals or scruples they walk away amicably from this situation.. People do do that you know.. That is what’s happening in my life, I see the atty’s perspective jaded from the standpoint as being very jaded from what she sees day to day in her career

  5. I am an experienced family law attorney and am a little confused after all of the back and forth. We can understand that the husband is purportedly an ungrateful slob, whom she did at one time AGREE to marry, but that’s not important now.

    Haterwife hates being his wife and she doesn’t complain at all, but then later in the same post she says she tells him how she feels after he “freaks out.” (See her July 17 5:08 am post). She also made a “huge” amount of money before becoming a stay at home mom, so private school and college is in her child’s future.

    Okay that’s good. Private elementary School will run around $15,000 a year. A good Prep school is running about $35,000 a year, and college tuition could be expected to be around $50,000 to $75,000 a year (easily) by the time he is college ready. This means that $15K for 8 Years is $120,000. $35K times 4 years is another $140,000, and conservatively 4 years of college at just $65K per year is $260,000. So she is really telling us that she has ammased in the neighborhood of $520,000 in her savings which is impressive to say the least (assuming that it is accurate).

    Now the reality of the situation is that (barring a prenuptial agreement) the money is a marital asset and if they do split up, he can be entitled to a portion of it as well as he can make her use it to support herself while she gets job training and goes to work. Social services will also be involved, as well as a court appointed guardian for the child, to ensure the best interests of the child are being met.

    Here is the important part – that does NOT always mean the baby goes with the Mom, or even the Dad. I have seen special needs children at the focus of a relationship be taken out of the home and placed in medical foster care while the parents go through what the Court decides they must. And guess who pays for that? BOTH Parents. She will have to list her half million dollars in savings as an asset which the Court will attach for the child’s present medical needs.

    At the same time, her history of being so hateful will also earmark her as a potential abuser and she can look forward to years of psych evaluations and follow ups.

    Now I realize that like many other replies I am going to be told I am full of BS too. Hey, I can take it. The facts do not add up in my assessment and we all must realize that we have only received one part of one side of the whole story.

    Bottom line is Haterwife, after all is said and done, we know you hate being his wife, the real question is now what do YOU really want to do?

      1. depends on how many children you have and of course their ages.
        also depends on your child behaviour some are quiet, some are “horrible” some sleep well, some don’t (and it’s difficult when you have just a 3 hours night) , some children can play with themselves some need constant attention (and it’s tiring) , you must speak to them all he time so they will learn to speak, hep with theit homeworks, stay calm a lot of patience…. don’t forget that society ut a lot of pressure on people to raise perfects kids (and stress can be difficult to handle) not everyone can handle that
        some are difficult through all their life, some don’t,

      2. and it also depends on the parents ages.my father used to tell me that the first child is ok after the second , life change completely cause ( even meeting friend is difficult with a family cause you don’t want to disturb others)
        some people also can’t bear a little untidyness so that make it more difficult

  6. You know, I can agree that this man provides for you and your son and for that you should be grateful. However, my Husband has been sole provider for our family for the past 4 years… I could NOT imagine cleaning up for him in this way.

    I would go crazy as well. Especially when it came to our kids, I would expect him to know how to feed, discipline, care..etc.. for our children in the event that I am not home or, god forbid, something happen to me.

    Even though he works 70 hours a week, I would end up working more. My mother/wife’s job doesn’t end when my Husband punches out at work. I get up an hour after he leaves and my job isn’t over until we’re both in bed. So realistically, I will have worked more hours in a day/week than he does. So I expect help when he gets home and we split the dinner, cleaning up after kids, homework…etc.. jobs when he gets home… or they would NEVER get done!

    It would be an absolute disrespect and an insult to me if my husband came home and just expected me to keep going while he put his feet up. I ‘allow’ a minute for him to grab a beer and relax, but after that, unless he’s had an unusual hard day, he better help out!

    It would be a real tragedy in our marriage to believe that he doesn’t appreciate what I do for him as well.

  7. My suggestion would be to get a job or just hire someone to clean your house for you, and please don’t say “we can’t possibly afford that” because you really can, you can easily find someone to clean your house twice a month for $150, they do the heavy lifting and you simply maintenance clean – but if you’re a stay at home mom and he’s the sole provider stop complaining. I also don’t think you love him, you obviously don’t appreciate the fact that he is the sole provider, do you have any idea how difficult it is to try to get by on one income?? Uless he’s a fortune 500 executive I’m guessing college is out of the question for your son. I don’t know what to tell you other than to get a divorce because with the attitude you’re expressing here I can’t even imagine what a nightmare you are to come home to.

    I’m sure you’ll disagree but if all you’re ever going to do is complain about what a mess he is and not focus on the fact that he probably works 60+ hour weeks, puts food on your table, clothes on you and your son’s back and pays for every other expense you either need a major attitude adjustment or to seek a divroce

    1. College is in the future for my son, as is private school. But not because of my husband, because of me. I made a huge amount of money before becoming a stay at home mom, and have enough savings for my sons college and schooling for life.

      I dont complain to my husband AT ALL thats why Im on HERE, hello!

      A nightmare to come home too, HA. He works from home, I dont bother him, let the baby bug him, or anything else in the house. I have dinner ready for him when he is done.

      If anyone could see into my house, you would think it was Joan Clever living here, I do clean, I do cook, and I don’t complain to him.

      He knows how I feel, because when he freaks out I am tired at the end of the day, and he starts with the name calling and pushing, I tell him.

      Beyond that, he would have NO idea.

      Sorry but your reply was a bunch of BS, clearly you did not read anything I said.

      1. If i were you, I would leave, live off of your savings until you find a job, collect child support ofc. Get SSI payments for your son and find an arrangement with another responsible female to care for your son (she can work for you in exchange for room & board)
        Get out of this marriage, it’s only gonna bring you down and make you feel like sh*t about yourself.. Sounds like it already has..
        And no, it’s not your “fault” your pathetic man-child should know that it’s not okay to push and shove his wife/maid when he’s angry.. Get rid of the SOB, I’m doing it and while it’s not easy, you won’t lose yourself.. Also, ask your parents to step in and help, I’m sure they don’t want to see their daughter abused!

  8. Wow. After reading the posts and seeing the extremes, I am amazed. Lisa is so caustic and biting, and everyone else is so syrupy and enabling, where is the middle ground for this woman? Apart from all of the bantering and badgering I can openly say that in the first instance – the HaterWife did put it out there for the world to read and it opens it for anyone to comment as he or she sees fit. I also agree that Lisa could be a bit more compassionate and to her I am sorry for her loss as well. As for the outpouring of identification from the others, it is clear that HaterWife now has the support and justification and validation to pretty much do as she sees she must. Hating is not healthy and if the relationship cannot be preserved then it should be cut out like the cancer it apparently is. Be sure to get a good divorce attorney and to seek all of the spousal support possible so oyu can continue to take care of your child. Good luck.

    1. He knows how I feel. He doesn’t need to sense it, I’ve told him. He is full of excuses and “please don’t leave”, “I need you”..I know in his heart he is a good man. And could be a good father, but in reality he has nothing to go on as far as what a good father should be. His father is a complete deadbeat ass. He borrowed over 30k from my husband for booze and expensive dinners, he promised to pay it back and my husband believed him because he had done so in the past.

      But this time, he didn’t.

      Really my husband doesn’t have any guidelines for a good marriage either. His parents divorced when he was young.

      He uses my parents as his compass for navigating our relationship! Which is fine, they have been together 50 years! But they also have issues.

      Was he always this way? In some ways yes. He has gotten meaner, more quick to frustrate and anger since our son was born though. I am hoping it’s stress or emotion he has not dealt with due to our son being born early. Only time and a good therapist will tell if that’s the case. Maybe he is just stressed about being the sole provider. Either way we will figure out, or not.

      I won’t be destroyed if we fall apart however. I love him, but liking him lately is very hard!

  9. i am in the same position i don’t have a child but my husband threatens to hit me when i try to tell he something i’d like him to do. I love him but i’m tired, so right now i am at a friends house giving him time to think and clean up after himself and get help.

  10. HaterWife, I back you up 110% !! I have walked your shoes and I still continue to. In some ways, your “man” is even more abusive than mine was/is.
    As I said in my above post, even before you gave more details I could see through this “man” because he has so many of the same traits as my ex.
    I can empathize completely and I understand the strain of caring of caring for a selfish, immature man-child. I am still coping with the after-affects. I was so easily persuaded by everything that my ex man-child told me.. He told me I was fat and made me feel ugly. Since I am without him, my confidence is beginning to build and people tell me I’m beautiful all the time and people who know me well tell me that my ex is crazy and that my body is gorgeous and desirable and that I look much younger than my real age (early 40’s)
    Though my kids are almost grown I still fear that something will happen to me and my kids will be left with this man-child as their only parent. He’s so selfish a parent he sees his kids only a few hours a month. Realistically, I understand it’s probably better this way but it’s still exhausting raising two teen-agers alone without a break and saddens me beyond belief that my kids have never had a strong male influence in their lives.
    Don’t feel you have to stay WifeHater, you don’t need to tolerate his abuse. I used to think that I loved my man-child too but in all honesty, now that I’m away from him all that I feel is relief.
    BTW, does your child receive Social Security benefits? I would apply, he may qualify that can possibly help supplement your income in the future, should you leave him and DON’T let him walk away from his responsibility of child support EVER, that’s the least he can do, given the circumstances. Good luck to you, WifeHater, some people understand that it’s not your fault :)

    1. WifeHater? ha ha..if my husband was posting on here, that would likely be his name. Kidding.

      Anyways, I thank you for your reply, support and understanding. However I want to just say this, I am not looking for anyone to feel like this isn’t my fault, because I know it IS partially my own fault. I should have set boundaries and talked to him about what we both expected out of marriage and having children together before we actually did it. No we could have not known 100% what it was going to be like, and certainly we had NO idea our son would be born 17 weeks early either.

      But I think we should have talked about it more than we did.

      It would be easy to just blame everything on my husband, it would be easy for me to do so and to let others do so as well. But in some way Lisa has a point, it IS my fault if I stay when things are this bad.

      That being said there is room for us both to improve. We are seeking help and maybe it will help. Maybe it won’t. But our son deserves to have us at least try every thing we could to stay together and not just throw in the towel because things are hard right now.

      I need to be able to one day tell our son, that we did try every thing we could to stay together if we do end up apart after seeking help.

      My son would likely be approved for disability due to the brain bleed he had a few weeks after birth, however I am not comfortable with collecting it. Because at best he would skate by on the fact his future is unknown and his feeding issues (which will resolve in time), and yet he has shown NO ill affects from his bleed.

      We were told he would be moderately to very disabled, delayed and that was if he even survived. I only share that because the truth of the matter is, he is none of those things. And I just cannot with good conscious collect something that we could collect by the guidelines of eligibility but in my mind our son is not disabled. If in the future he does have very clear signs of disabilities, then we will address it until then I cannot collect on what might happen.

  11. I wanted to add some more information (over kill I know but I really didn’t like being called a greedy, whiny wench). My husband has a very short fuse, he has a quick temper and can fly off the handle pretty darn quickly.

    He has repeatedly told me that the apartment we bought together, is HIS because HE pays for it. Yes, that is true. But it’s not like I do nothing all day and do not work as much as he does, if not harder and more. I could be wrong but am I not entitled to half of the home, even though I am not paying into it..by law? And if not by law, then by the fact we are married.

    He fully supports me being a stay at home mom, even though I have offered numerous times when he has be stressed about money to get a job. NUMEROUS times.

    He also has no problem saying that nothing in the house is mine, even though most of it was actually paid for by me. But to me, these things are shared things regardless of who paid for them.

    He also tries to kick me out of our home because it’s his, and his alone.

    He has also said while mad (even though I think it’s inexcusable to say mad or not) that he doesn’t care if I take our son and he never sees him again.

    In anger he has offered to sign over his parental rights to our son and says he wouldn’t pay child support if I left.

    Sure I say some mean crap to him too, but nothing like he says to me. I never attack his weight, his habits that bother me, or anything else that is hitting below the belt.

    I have told him I want to leave, that I am unhappy and that he isn’t always a good father.

    But those are all TRUE things.

    I love him despite all these things, maybe I shouldn’t but I do. He can be a very loving, caring and gentle husband and father when he wants to be.

    1. I really loved the way you “added” some more “facts” to justify your position. In fact – the prisons are full of people who felt as equally “justified” for doing what they did too. “I NEEDED that money more than the bank so I robbed it…” I also like how you completely diverted form the snoring issue since the reality is that he cannot do it to spite you. Give us a break Mrs. Whiny Wench Wife – if you are looking for sympathy in your confession then you need to look elsewhere – like maybe in the dictionary someplace between sh*t and syphilis. If the situation is truly as bad as you try to get us to believe and you don’t leave it -then you are even more abusive to your son for leaving him in such a dangerous and hostile environment. Pack up and GO – oh wait – you cannot give up the free room and board, retirement, medical, dental, and other perks your husband provides for you. So since you and I both know you lack the guts to leave then we will all wait with such great anticipation for your next volley of fabrications to justify your choice to remain, regardless of how “bad” you say it is. I am not going to sugar coat it and mollycoddle you wit what you want to hear. The truth hurts and that is why you hate me so much too right now. AND if it seems I am coming off too harshly – just be thankful for what you do have in life. My husband was killed in action 3 years ago in Afghanistan. While I miss him greatly,and wish every day he had not died, I am also thankful that such a man lived in the first place.

      As I said before – get some professional advice and be prepared for harsh truths and bitter realities.

      1. Whatever, Lisa. HaterWife is a smart, educated woman.. You think she deserves this abuse then you are the ignorant one

        1. Where are her education credentials listed? As for “smart” – well that is too obvious in the given posts. As I have always said – the poster needs to seek professional assistance.

      2. I think the poster is lying a bit too.
        The original post illustrates what happens in many marriages, the love fades away, weight gain comes in, and suddenly anything a partner does is extremely annoying.
        Everything she posted after the fact, just sounds like she is trying to justify her bitchines.

        And she has a lot on her plate? pleeeasee like it takes that long to clean up and take care of a kid.
        I’m a stay at home dad currently, not by choice but daaamn its a sweet deal.

        And I clean up after my wife, her makeup she leaves out on the table, her coffe cup, her clothes everything that she leaves behind when she rushes off to work. I take care of the kid, make food, keep the house clean.

        Before I got to experience it, I thought stay at home moms had it hard. And now i know that is pure nonsense, and I wish i could be a stay at home dad for ever. Its freaking awesome

        1. It’s different for everyone. Some families have it harder or easier than others; you need to remember that. Her situation is not the same as yours, and if you think ALL stay-at-home mothers have it easy, you are sorely mistaken.

      3. Im sorry but we all have faults and who are we to,throw stone have you ever heard the saying they that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stone .In every situation their is 2 sides to a story maybe you may not agree with her but is it any reason to judge her .Why don’t you pray for her and give her some,advice in a nicer way than giving her a piece of your mind every story is important no matter how we see it lets be supportive and support one another as wives

      4. Maybe you had a man that WAS a good person! Great for you! Those of us that are financially stuck in a marriage have to vent sometimes and it’s not your place to say we can’t. I have four years until my son is out of school, then I can finally leave he jackass I married. YOU are angry about your husbands death, but that is NOT her fault.

  12. I just want to add some stuff to my first post.

    Our son has special needs, he has a feeding tube and can only eat certainly things orally or else could very well and easily get sick, and possibly die from it. And I am not being dramatic.

    I have no issues caring for our child, I love him and I love every second I spend with him because I came VERY VERY close to losing him.

    We were told to let him pass away while he was in the NICU, due to being born EXTREMELY early.

    I can handle everything that raising him requires, I cannot handle raising two children when one is an adult.

    I shouldn’t have too!

    I did not marry my husband to become his mother, there was no mention of that in our vows.

    Sure I have no problems cleaning the house and even cooking for him, if he would just stop expecting it, making it seem like he thinks Im his maid or making more mess for me to clean. I thank him for taking care of us, why can’t he return the thanks?

    I know as a stay at home mom and wife, that part of my ‘job’ is cleaning, is cooking and so on…but I don’t think it’s my job to pick up after my husband like I am. I think at his age, he can handle picking up his own boxers and putting his own dishes in the dish washer.

    If something happened to me, and my husband had to care for our son alone, he couldn’t do it. He hasn’t a clue what he can eat safely orally. He doesn’t know his medical history off by heart, so in the event our son was taken to the ER at hospital where he wasn’t born, my husband could not give the doctors his history.

    Not to mention the fact that anyone who thinks it’s ok to call the mother of their child “fat” (which isn’t even true) because they gained a few pounds from the medication they took in order to keep their milk supply up while they pumped for their child for almost two years…and watched their wife struggle to pump 6-7 times a day and still be able to take care of the house, the husband and the child…is not a very nice person indeed.

    And yes, I may focus a lot on our child. But I HAVE too, there are few options for childcare, so we can’t really ever leave him with anyone. He cannot go to daycare or a baby sitter due to immune system issues not to mention most people are not trained on how to operate his feeding tube and pump.

    He can’t be left with anyone who does not know CPR and child first aid.

    Not to mention the fact there numerous things he cannot eat orally, that other children his age could. And giving them to him could kill him.

    Sure there are times where I would love a break, and yes we do go out alone sometimes. But sometimes I would rather spend my time with my son, because even as a toddler he shows he appreciates and loves me more than my husband ever does.

    And we have just started talking to someone about our issues. So hopefully it will help, but frankly I doubt my husband will change. We have been off and on for 13 years now, off only because I moved away for school. I grew up and had other relationships in that 6 year break, he did not. And it shows.

    1. wow. I feel for you but everything happens for a reason and maybe your son is a wake up call. Youre the only one that cares? Then get out. Either choose the victim or the survivor but you cant be both.

  13. Ooohh, I’m the only comment for now.

    WELL, I have to say, at the beginning you said you love your husband….. YOU DO?! That guy’s a frekkin gorrila and you’re it’s zookeeper!!!! Don’t live your life this way, leave while the baby is still young! D:

  14. He’s doing all that because you’re so focused on the kid that it’s the only attention he can get from you and he’s desperate to have his WIFE back. Eveything you just complained about has nothing to do with being a good wife, you’re just being a good room mate. It’s called a “child centric marriage” and it will destroy your relationship. Start paying some attention to HIM instead of the laundry and things will start getting better (if you explain to him what’s going on, and ask him why he doesn’t do the things you need help with). Get a book on it, and fast, or one of you is going to cheat on the other within 5 years. And divorce is in your future.

    Except the snoring. You’re on your own with that.

  15. SOOOO much like my ex in SO many ways. He left 6 months ago and now my apartment is neat as a pin. My kids don’t even come close to making the messes and disorganization that he did…
    He was a lousy parent. Our oldest is 18 and my ex still can’t seem to figure out that he supposed to be a father. So in essence, I raised 2 kids by myself even though their dad was in the same house! He never lifted a finger to help me or them! I couldn’t imagine a worse parent..
    Also he became a worse and worse provider after the years went on.. I can’t even begin to tell you how little he cared about our finances and well being.
    The snoring? OMG, when i got a job and carried health insurance for us all (cuz he was too lazy to do that) I BEGGED him to go to a sleep disorder clinic, he told me “You’re so controlling, you even want to control my sleep” What the f-ever, I just wanted to be able to get some rest in my own bed!
    I could go on and on and on about the 16 years of utter selfishness on his part, what a lousy, selfish lover he was, uninvolved parent, irresponsible with our money (to the point of making us broke)His alcohol use leading to his mental illness (which he still won’t seek help for) His sloppiness, laziness (I remember making Thanksgiving dinner for 35 people and I asked him to do ONE chore, peel the potatos’ and he couldn’t accomplish that one task.. pathetic)
    I recommend that you at the very least get separate bedrooms from him and HE can live the way he wants to in it… Don’t you touch it. You need sleep to be able to care for your child and I’m guessing he thinks the snoring is not an issue?
    As for missing out on sex, I’m gonna assume he’s not much good anyway.. Do as much as you can to make him be responsible for himself.. Let him life his own sloppy life in his own dirty space. You have a job to do raising your child. Cleaning up after that “man” sounds like a full time job. Tell him you’re done with it

  16. Lighten up! There is a thin line between love and hate and you are obviously stuck in a pity-pot of “poor me.” In the grand scheme of things you got it easy sister so stop complaining. What did you figure – get married and have your sweet “little man” baby and then get free room and board for life? Wake up! Marriage is a two-way street so deal with it. If some things bother you – then talk with him and not AT him or ABOUT him. If his snoring is a bother – then he may have sleep apnea or a medical condition. Or are you so caught up in yourself that you believe he snores just to spite you? Get Real! You married this man so live up to your vows and be a Real Wife and not some nagging, greedy, whining wench. And if it really is all that bad, then get a job to support yourself, pack up and move out. Leave the baby behind since that is his too and he can figure out how to deal with him – plus we wouldn’t want you to learn to hate the baby too since it is his offspring. All sarcasm aside – see a marriage counselor and be prepared for some harsh truths.

    1. Wow that was a bunch of total BS! I am certainly NOT a greedy nagging wench. First of all screw you for even implying I would EVER hate my son because of my husband. Im the only one in this family that gives a crap about our son. Who for the record has special needs, and I bend over backwards caring for every day.

      I clean the house every single day because of the germ issue that could affect our son, I am upset he lays in the bed with dirty clothes on..because our son sometimes sleeps in there. And his immune system is so weak he cannot deal with germs.

      He doesn’t have a medical condition that is causing his snoring, he is grossly over weight and knows that is the cause.

      I would be JUST FINE dealing with these seemingly petty and small issues, if he wasn’t such an asshat to me. He is emotionally, verbally and has almost crossed the line into physically abusive.

      It so easy to pass judgment when you have a handful of facts. No I did not mention the above in my first post, because I thought that would come off as “poor me”. I don’t feel sorry for myself.

      I feel sick of being an ungrateful man’s maid, cook and cleaner. If he just once said anything to acknowledge the fact I do so much around the house and for our son, I wouldn’t complain. He cannot even find the time to properly remember what health issues our son has, if I wasn’t here there is a VERY good chance our son would parish in his care. Why? Because the only thing he truly cares about is himself.

      He cannot even make his son anything more than Cheerios in the morning because he can’t be bothered to do much more effort than putting them on our son’s highchair tray. Not to mention he would have NO clue what to feed our son who has feeding issues and has a feeding tube.

      If I was not here, our son would never eat anything more than Cheerios orally and would be completely dependent on his feeding tube.

      1. no one can judge anyone on relationships…cant people just offer nice advice instead of trying to ‘tell off’ someone for their mistakes….like all of u lot have been perfect and happy with every decision uve ever made…I VERY MUCH THINK NOT!
        if u dont approve, get off the site, cuz we actually come on here to get help and support from others going through the same thing.

        circumstances only allow so much at a certain time, so we make the right choice then..its not our fault if stuff changes and we become unhappy, yet unable to change things.! i feel bad for you all hating the world because we dont think like the rest of you, and have troubles with everday life!

        you ever thought people are brought up different, and whats normal for one person could be utter crazy for another…open your minds you hurtful nobodies and leave the site to people who want to help people, not belittle them on the internet

        i understand why you feel like you do about your husband, with added stress of a child you must be going insane, these men are under the assumption that when their mother is out the pictur, their girlfriend should take the place….

        its a shame its so hard to find a real man. you jusy have to carry on, one day you will realise u have the strengt to mae any decision you want and carry it through so you can be happy

        1. I’m actually with the wife on this one peeps. He sounds like he needs to be a bit more considerate towards her around the house. Marriage is a partnership and she needs to be able to express her feelings even negative so they can both come to an agreement about resolving the issue. There are certain things he really shouldn’t be doing. A grown man leaving his boxers on the floor of the bathroom? Come on!
          Stand up for yourself Wife – he’s definitely being a bit of a jerk!
          Sympathetic Woman xx

      2. If I were you…I’d leave him, yesterday. Run while you still can. Who cares if he supports you financially, anyone that treats you like that isn’t worth it. Before long, he will cross the line into physically abusive, and by golly anyone who says that verbal abuse isn’t as bad as physical abuse is just lying to themselves. Words hurt just as bad if not worse. You’ve lost all respect for him, and that isn’t healthy for any relationship. Sounds like he deserves to lose your respect, along with your presence in his life and the babys. Ugh. Get out and get out quickly!!

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