Comments on: Hate being a mom

By: Maura

Maura — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:42:03 +0000

LEARN TO READ, Lisa! We don’t like your attitude. You are PMS personified.

By: Jane

Jane — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:38:42 +0000

You are wise. I also advise my friends not to cave in to societal pressures but to have children only if they truly want them. I wish you the best in dealing with your husband’s alcoholism.

By: Jane

Jane — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:23:42 +0000

I am convinced that you, Lisa, are a man. Furthermore, I do not believe for one moment that you are the kind of man that actually takes care of children. Anyone who is a caregiver knows how taxing it is financially and emotionally. You however do not seem to grasp any of this. For some reason you have no compassion for mothers who feel exhausted and overwhelmed. It is human to need a break and to vent once in a while. Just because we chose to vent periodically does not make us terrible mothers–it just makes us people.

By: Jane

Jane — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:07:26 +0000

Being a mother is like riding on a roller coaster. It is exciting and fun at many points. But it can also be scary and intimidating. It is the HARDEST job that a woman will ever do and is not to be taken lightly. To be a good mom you must sacrifice things you never dreamed of. No one can truly explain how challenging and rewarding motherhood can be to another person. Furthermore, no child is exactly like any other–making it even more difficult when you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or lonely and in need of advice. To summarize, I love my children and am grateful I had them. Still, I am only human and wish I could have a bit more time and appreciation for the sacrifices I have made. If only my husband understood that…

By: Megan D

Megan D — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:29:28 +0000

I found this by typing I dont like being home, Its true sometimes I feel so frustrated being at home with the same routine day in and day out. I have two little ones. They are a handful but I love them with all my heart and I can not imagine my life without them. I am glad that there is a place where we can all come and vent and not be judged. Give eachother advice and say hey its normal to feel this way sometimes. Imagine if I would share this with my mother inlaw or sister inlaws. They’d kill me. Since they believe raising children is fun all day long and how could there be anything negative. My mother in law always tells me she absolutely loved it and that it was always fun and her kids hardly ever misbehaved. I highly doubt it…, but sometimes I wish she and the rest of them would just be real. No its not fun all the time, its hard work and there will be days where you wont like being a mom but there will be times that your babies will do something unexpected that will make all the hardwork worth it. A smile, a hug, a comment, a funny joke, when they are excited they were able to do a big kid thing… But I hope that if anyone is feeling very depressed or angry and its lasted for a long time and it seems like nothing is helping you feel better (i.e. having me time) than you should talk to someone qualified to help sort out your feelings. Take care and hope your day is better tomorrow.

By: hawkwife

hawkwife — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 01:29:41 +0000

Having kids exacerbates any existing issues in your life, sometimes to a point that is unmanageable. I can identify to most of your posts on here. I believe that women are the stronger sex and will always work harder than men. With that being said, I try to remind myself of this when I am overwhelmed with being mom. I have a wonderful husband who is also battling alcoholism, and have two small kids. The last 3 years have been very difficult for me. It is nice to see other comments on here coming from an honest place in yourselves. Kids are not for everyone, and I tell my childless girlfriends that when they start feeling the pressure to reproduce.

By: Kristine

Kristine — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 20:07:39 +0000

A neglectful husband is an abusive husband. I can’t believe that a judge can’t order a husband to step up and participate when judges can order ex-husbands to step up and pay. It’s definitely not fair, how he treats you.

There are many nice guys out there, but a lot of them are shy and alone, and don’t think women want them. I wish I had advice for you, but I don’t know what you should do. It seems like your selfish husband doesn’t do you any good, though.

What if you called that doctor and told him what your husband did? Aren’t doctors supposed to help abused women?

By: JoAnna Weiss

JoAnna Weiss — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:03:12 +0000

You all don’t know how glad I was to stumble across this blog. I’ve pretty much been at SAHM for almost a decade (I did some temp work on occasion), and my original plan had been to work next fall when my son goes to all day kindergarten. I have decided I can’t wait a year. I am looking for a job today. My kids are 9 and 4, so they aren’t as needy anyway, but I am sick and tired of endless food preparations. No one likes what I make anyway. Non-stop cleaning, somehow the house is still a mess. Constant interruptions while I try to accomplish anything. Guilt because I don’t really like to play children’s games, and so on. I have found that even actively looking for a job has given me some relief. Instead of looking forward to another endless day of endless chores and whiny kids, I start treasuring the time and engaging them more because I am thinking that this time is coming to an end. I hope to be able to enjoy my time with my kids more after I return to work. I do love them to pieces, but kids are draining.

By: Kristine

Kristine — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:03:06 +0000

Did you really, after all that you’ve said here, taunt another woman to “have a kid” just to prove your point? You would really have someone else bring another unwanted child into the world just to win an argument?

And frankly, don’t paint those of us who cannot have children as “bitter and barren.” No, my ovaries don’t work – and I didn’t care. I didn’t want kids, and I’m sympathetic to those who did and are doing a good job. As for me, I’d rather work to make this a better world for other people’s children.

Grow up yourself, and don’t respond to vitriol with such cruelty likewise.

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:56:53 +0000

I hate Candy Land. I hate Chutes and Ladders even more, because it never ENDS! Why do we torture ourselves playing these games??? I’ve read most of the comments. I can relate to almost everyone. Momhood is exhausting and NO ONE warned us how hard it would be. I have a very upfront, unfiltered personality, so I warn EVERYONE who is contemplating having a baby about how life-changing it is. My analogy is, you can’t just go to the store and leave a kid in the back yard like you can with a dog. They are with you 24/7, they have opinions, they disobey, they make messes, they NEED THINGS constantly, they CRY, and they DON’T come wagging their tail at you regardless of your mood.

Our job is non-stop conflict resolution. How does anyone come out of it sane? I have no idea. I am disgusted by all the bloggers and facebookers who paint a rosy picture of motherhood. How do they have the time for all that blogging anyway? I call BS on them.

But let’s look at this in a different way. All of us feel overworked, under-appreciated, emotionally spent, and Hi-Ho-Cherry-O’d-out. But WHY? And is there a solution? There’s GOT to be a reason for this. I’m sure mothers from decades past have felt this way, too, but I don’t think it was to this degree. I have to wonder ….. could there be a shift in the way people are parenting? Are we sabotaging ourselves by placing too high of expectations on ourselves … trying too hard to be “the perfect parent” or “not damaging their self-esteem” or “putting everyone else’s needs first” too much? Are children more demanding now than they were in the past? What CHANGED?

Personally, I have a theory. It’s just a theory though, so I could be totally wrong. But honestly, I think that for me personally, I feel tired and grumpy and overwhelmed and all that crap because I am not as healthy as I could and should be. I think my kids act out more because THEY are not as healthy as they could and should be. I think the foods we eat are mostly junk and therefore we get junk behavior in return. Healthy bodies are happier.

I experimented with a healthier diet for 2 years with one of my sons, who was autistic. I did this crazy diet to “pull him out of autism.” He ate nothing but all-natural, chemical-free foods. No dyes, no preservatives, no pesticides, etc. and loaded him up daily with a truckload of vitamin supplements. IT WORKED. He did a complete 180 and the diagnosis was removed. He switched from being literal, HELL ON WHEELS, to an obedient, intelligent, JOYFUL child! Wooohoo, he’s healed! i thought. So recently, I ditched the extremely expensive and difficult diet. Guess what? Symptoms are returning. He’s turning back into the hell child he was before.

So, good things in, good things out??? I think there is something to it. All the crap we feed ourselves and our children could be affecting our mental and emotional well-being, as well as our health. (knowing what I know now, I personally think that the majority of ADHD diagnoses would disappear if artificial colors were banned from foods, but i digress …. ) But, maybe we wouldn’t be so miserable if our bodies and minds were well-fed?

So, I’m certainly not preaching nutrition, because clearly, I am not living out my theory or practicing what I preach (yet?). (i still love my oreos and white bread… Food habits are very hard to break) I’d love to hear what others think.

Sure, I’m sure we will always feel some degree if dissatisfaction with our role. Is anyone TRULY and COMPLETELY happy in life? No way. I do think though that nutrition plays a bigger role on our emotional well-being than we realize.

There’s not a lot we can do about the shift in our social climate, and what our expectations as parents are now vs what they once were, but we can choose whether to buy into it or not, and allow to give ourselves some wiggle room. We are not perfect. No one is. Life is not easy. I’d love to see this group collectively agree to try to find solutions or ways to make ourselves happier/more satisfied and make this into more than just a place to vent.

Hugs to you all for working so hard and being the moms that you are!