better off if you killed me that night too
Posted by dying inside in Hate on Aug 10th, 2010 | 6 commentsyou took everything that ever mattered away from me, you raped me. and i never even saw your face. i feel disgusting and gross. i feel your breath on my skin when im changing, and i see you everytime i close my eyes. just from that one night, you took my whole life away from me. i will never go to another party again, i will never have my virginty back , and i will never feel beautiful. i never want to be touched again. i feel so ashamed that i cant give the man i was suppose to marry all of me,& i cant have that fairy tale wedding. i cant even look at a man without wondering if hes the one who rapped me. i dont want to be the victim anymore, but just because i survived this, doesnt mean it was ever okay.
6 Responses to “ “better off if you killed me that night too”
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you should talk to a psycologist (not pyschiatrist they just want to give you meds). there are good men in the world i promise!
I’m sorry, hunny. I feel the exact same way but I was perpetrated upon by family members.. We all feel like you do until we get help. It’s a long hard journey but the world is full of us, we’re survivors.. Be strong and overcome.. I know I don’t know you but I want you to know I love you and can empathize with everything you’re feeling.. Gods Blessings to us, we never deserve one fraction of what they put us through, be well, sister.. BTW, there’s a great page on facebook, called Overcoming Sexual Abuse
I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t feel ashamed, this isn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong. And you can still have a good wedding, and a wonderful husband, who will love you, and understand you. Your a beautiful person, and I wish you the best of luck. God bless. :) <3
I completely understand u cos i hv also been through that thing in my life. Its not too long ago, it happened last year which changed my life as well. But trust me, all men are not the same. I have found the man who trust me n luvs me no matter what happened with me and m sure one day even u wil find that special someone who wil make u feel LUVD. Take care
I just had to respond again. Yes, it’s great to be loved and have wedding and all that stuff. But at this juncture of your life, it’s SO IMPORTANT to get heolp, to work at getting better, to discover who you are, to get strong so that you can overcome and can continue on. Otherwise the issues that result from this will continually come back and bite you.. It takes a ton of hard work and perseverance but it can be done. Good luck, healing and blessings to us all
The person you fall in love with is not the one who did this horrible thing to you . I cant tell you i know how you feel cuz i dont , but i can tell you when you do come out of this mess and it is a mess cuz you diverse better, you will find life and love and talk to him about it if he loves you then he will understand.