I’m so obsessed with how people see me. I HAVE to be the “best” person in the group. Whether that means I’m the strongest or the most fun or the smartest… it takes in many forms. If I can’t master a particular task or emotion, it might as well not exist in my world. I don’t talk about my issues like how I am depressed and anxiety ridden. I don’t talk about how my younger brother tried to kill me when we were younger. I don’t talk about my cousin who is in high school cuts herself. These things make me weak, they can’t be my real life. But they are. I lost all barriers this weekend at a bachelorette get away and disclosed all of this to a group of girls I barely know but only because I drank entirely too much, again. I am now so consumed by guilt for verbalizing these things and drinking as I did, my anxiety level is off the charts. My husband doesn’t even know how depressed I am by what I did this weekend, by opening up and sharing my life… What is wrong with me?