Older married man
Posted by ashamedandconfused in Guilt on Oct 9th, 2010 | 33 commentsOK, it’s not a massive confession or really THAT bad compared to a lot of confessions on here, and I’m not doing it to impress or entertain anyone, I just need to get this off my chest before I burst.
I AM HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH AN OLDER MARRIED MAN!!
I am also married, 2 years (no kids), he has been with his wife for 20 years and they have 2 kids and that makes me feel bad, but I can’t help how I feel about him…. I know people say that all the time but I mean it! I can’t sleep, can’t concentrate, I feel lost, I lose my appetitie and feel ill when I am away from him.
We work together, for the same company but not in the same office so I don’t get to see him very often but have been keeping in touch almost daily for the last 6 months. What’s worse is he is 15 YEARS OLDER than me.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my husband and there is nothing lacking in our relationship, and he says the same about his relationship, but it’s just like a magnet!
I am positive I would have stayed faithful if I hadn’t met him. I had never cheated on any past boyfriends.
I do not want him to leave his wife or children and would just die if she found out, so I am trying to convince myself to end it but the thought makes me feel sick….. we’ll just have to see how this plays out.
33 Responses to “ “Older married man”
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Just hang in there, you’ll get through this. You need to weigh up the pros and cons of it all, yes you care for him and being with him mighht make you feel wonderful, but if found out it could ruin many people’s lives.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s not like you’ve killed anyone (like some of the other confessions on this site) but it is not good and I think you need to end it now before it gets out of hand.
Be strong :)
I’m at the start of a similar situation and know exactly how you feel.
I’m in regular contact wiht a guy I met through work who is 20 years older than me. We are both married with kids and I wouldn’t want to mess that up for either of us. I just can’t stop thinking about him – I think I can separate the two and have both. But that does kind of make me a terrible person! I think its possible, if you are discreet and both in agreement that no-one should ever find out or be told.
If we were both single, I think we’d be together but that’s not the case so that’s the way it is.
Well anon, I am still seeing the other man, discreetly.
I still have feelings as strong as ever for both my husband and him.
No-one knows but us still and I will aim to keep it that way forever if I can (I can only hope).
He still messages me every morning to say good morning.
What makes you guys cheat with other men when you are in a good relationships? Not judging, just would like to know. Do they talk you into something “fun” to do?
I know it sounds like crap, but for me it’s a case of ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’.
The guy I am cheating with just gets to me in every way, I think about him constantly and my heart aches for him…. and all from the first day I met him where he didn’t do or say anything out of the ordinary.
Our relationship didn’t start on a physical level (although the attraction, and oppotunity, was there) we just loved to spend time together talking and joking around.
So I guess what I’m saying is it’s not that a guy can just say or do something to make a girl cheat, especially when she is happy at home, but it’s something that’s just so much more, that goes on in the mind/heart/souls/chemistry or whatever and I cannot explain it I’m sorry.
It is ok sister. We are all human. Hang in there.
Yeah, I’m the other anon from above that is in potentially similar situation. I do love my husband but after so many years he’s like a friend that I live with rather than someone who makes my heart race. I think you often get the worst of someone when you live with them…and see the best of someone when you don’t! Familiarity and all – peoepl in long term relationships don’t always carry on making the effort for each other.
Ironically, the other guy is probably like that with his wife. But when we meet up, the chemistry is amazing – not just on a sexual level (because we havent’ done anything), but I love the way his mind works.
So, I havent’ done anythign physically wrong but heck, I REALLY want to!
hi anon I just caught my wife having multiple affairs at least one physically and at least two online she gave me the same song and dance about how I’m just a friend now it hurts a lot. Your not only ruining your own marriage but his as well. do you really want to have that on your conscience. we have two children and if they ever found out they would be devastated. Of course I won’t tell them that would be wrong. Your husband probably doesn’t even really know how you feel you should probably tell him before you do something stupid. You might be able to spice things up a bit. get some counseling plz. You won’t ever get that first love feeling again with him but that will turn into a love that’s much deeper and beautiful. Give your husband a chance.
15 years older? 20 years older? that is nothing. My girlfriend is 36 years younger then I. Besides that, I use to married to her mother.
Gross. You’re on a fast train to nowhere
ewwwww on so many levels there “daddie”
just gross
You are living the American dream my…i only hope that when i get ur age i’m as lucky as you. Keep doin wut u doin…for all men!
Not gross! We have fun together and get alone great. Her two kids 7 and 9 loves being around me. So to each his or her own.
the gross part is you were married to her mom
I just bet their grammar is as good as yours, I’m sure you’re a charming bunch! No issues at all!
Well, thank you much. I see the English police is out. If this was the only thing I had in my life sure would be boring.
Like you, I too am the lover of my much older boss, with a wife and two kids, and me with a husband at home. I am so in love with him, it hurts. He is the man that I need, my poor husband just can not measure up. Nice boy, but a boy.
I have reconciled to being his mistress. It is not so bad, mistresses have been around through out history. Beter the mistress of this man, than the wife of a boy.
I am sorry. You people that cheat are just selfish. It is bad enough if no kids were involved; But you PIGS have kids. You are disgusting human beings and my one wish for all of you is that your children find out about your disgusting habits. Have a great day!
Did your wife cheat on you David. I bet she did.
Actually you would lose that bet. I stand by my answer. Cheaters are freaking selfish cowards and I would love for their kids to find out . That would be the ultimate karma.
narrow minded
My ex and I are close friends. We both know that if we needed something from each other within reason, we would be there for each other. Btw, my lover and I have not had any disagreement since we got togather. Anyone else can say that?
you don’t live with and keep house with your lover do you? when you set up housekeeping with a person, the mystery dies. romance thrives on mystery. if you were to LIVE WITH your lover in a year or so you’d be bored & looking for another person to boink.
grow the hell up. marriage is a TASK not a life long love affair.
David you are narrow minded, if you had been in this situation you would know not to be judgemental. Life changes all the time, nothing is secure, love is dangerous, you have to be brave to face it. You have to be brave to face the fact that sometimes people interrupt other people’s lives. Love interrupts.
If you folks are so freaking BRAVE then tell your wife and kids. You wont do that because you are COWARDS. You are the last scumbags that should throw around the word BRAVERY
Sorry but all our kids know. Nine is 35 years old and excepted her. Her kids are living with us and the do know that I use to be her step dad. We are open to everyone if they ask.
your yucky Indyracer57, I feel sorry for your girlfriend. Are you a pedephile?
How can I be a pedophile? She is 28 years old. Or is it We have something special that other people would love to have?
Is she mentally ill? Im serious
mentally ill? Call it what you want but also consider this. We are as happy as any couple out there that others wish they could find. We both have a sense of humor that we share everyday. Yes some here would not understand some of the subjects we kid about but we can.
Let people say what they want. I am on vaction with my 29 year old girlfriend. I am 65 and half right now. We have never had such a good time.
You sound like a typical fake loser. Get over it. You justify this with feelings of not being able to function without him. It is the excitment and nothing more. Your marriage is garbage, don’t kid yourself. Get a diviorce now seeing as how you have no kids.
Grow a spine and stop cheating. You are such a coward.