RSSlying to my love
I know ppl may read this and think “she deserves it” and i would agree with you…see, my mother died three years ago when i was 14 and i felt numb…dead practicly until i got unto a chat room and i met this girl, we became friends…i started liking her more than a friend should have…yes yes am a girl, shes a girl…i didnt see it coming either, i guess it was just an ironic spin of fate that i realised that am bi in the worst moments of my life…yay more confusion please. The thing is…i fell in love with her and i just wanted a new life for a few seconds. to forget everything bad my life had, so i invented my alter ego i guess…a guy…and she fell in love with him, me…i havent lied about how much i love her, i havent love anyone like this…she made me happy when i thought i couldnt be…after the five years my mom fought cancer she died…and after all those years of feeling numb…useless cause i couldnt make the cancer go away…my friend…my gilfriend made me smile for the first time…truly smile…not the hollow that everyone in my family kept giving each other…ive been with her for three years now…and all i can think of is…am never going to be with her really…ill have to tell her and she will hate me and…and i cant stop myself to be selfish for a bit more so i keep lying to her…ill tell her, i will, i want to cause i know am doing something horrible to her…but am too selfish…
do i really love her as much as i feel, then why the **** am i such a horrible person?
anon said on 28 Aug 2008 at 3:00 pm # Quote
you are most definetly not a horrible person.
if she truly is in love with you (which i would say she is by the ammount of time you have been together) then she won’t be bothered by the fact that you are really a girl.
love knows no bounds, and is a beautiful thing that most humans would kill to experience.
i am incredibly happy for you that you’ve found love. theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. <3
anonymous said on 15 Sep 2008 at 7:32 am # Quote
You have to tell her the truth! I come from a very similar experience, only I was the one lied to.
I am a girl, and the person I fell in love with is also a girl.
The problem was that she lied to me. She lied to me about everything. She broke the trust we had, and I felt like I didn’t know her.
I was damn angry, and so hurt, but we were able to reestablish a relationship.
What you are doing is cruel. STOP now. Stop before it goes any further. Perhaps there is a way to salvage your relationship, as I was able to salvage mine, but the longer you continue to lie, the more damage you are going to cause.
Be brave and tell her the truth. If you really love her, then you must. If not, you are a selfish cow and you don’t deserve even her friendship.
I’m sorry your Mom passed away, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are causing tremendous damage to another human being. Think about her for a second… can you? Or are you too selfish to see beyond your own fears?
Tony said on 13 Nov 2008 at 2:43 pm # Quote
How can you love someone you have never met????