i wish that I would disappear or they would
Posted by stressed out mom in Guilt on Jul 13th, 2010 | 3 commentsI’m 30 and still work in fast food, I had my oldest daughter really young (not an excuse) but I did graduate high school and thats as far as I went. Me and her father eventually got married when she was 7. She was a great child. I decided even though I had a rough time with depression and PPD after her that we should try for another one. Within 3 months I was pregnant again. Things were great life was good and I finally felt like I was getting my fairy tale ending…Then, the company we worked for shut down, we were both out of work, literally so poor that I would take extra paper towels and toilet paper from public restrooms till our next unemployment check came in. Our combined unemployed gave us to much income to get more than food stamps and pregnancy medicaid (thank goodness) but it was barely enough to cover the bills (and we cut down everything, to the basics, no phone, computer, we did have cable b/c I didn’t want to take everything from our daughter, no cell phones, we moved to cheaper housing). He began to drink again. Then he got really stupid and ended up in prison (this was completly out of his cahracter and side swipped me) a month before our youngest was born.
Fast forward….He is still locked up I work at mcd’s my oldest hardly stays at home with me and the youngest b/c my moods. I’m trying to go back to school, which makes me even more stressed out. We have moved again into an even smaller place, sold my car got a cheapo fixer upper. I’m trying really hard to do everything right. My youngest though I love her I wish some times I had had a crystal ball not only is my situation stressful, she is a horrible terribler two-er, constant tempertanturms, shes the kid everyone hates to see in public b/c I can’t control her, when I try it only makes her louder, meaner and more uncontrollable. Home life is a nightmare. And as bad as I hate my job, its my only break and time away from her, I f I could work 24/7 I would. I scream and yell constantly so much so that DSS was called. I do love her but dam I need some help or at least a break.
No one will babysit and I can’t afford insurance, so drs nannies all that is out the window. I just hope that confessing this will help and if anyone has any tips please let me know.
3 Responses to “ “i wish that I would disappear or they would”
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Call your medicaid office and dont take no for an answer. The best advice I could give anyone in your situation is to be a squeeky wheel. A social worker should beable to help you get your situation deemed a “crisis” and that would get you the help you need! The goverment would rather help to keep the children in your home then try and find a place for them in the system, so they WILL help you. Once you have help and you can breathe again you will be able to pull through.
Please dont let anyone who comments negitively on your situation effect you. Regardless of the decisions you have made remember what Scarlet Ohare said in Gone With the Wind, “Tomorrow is another day!”
Yes, you should definitely qualify for some services that will make life a little easier for you and your children (food assistance, health insurance, child care, rental assistance, etc) You have no income other than McDonalds and the kids’ dad is in prison?
Some counties are better than others. And sometimes it just happens to depend on the person you talk to at your county. Even start with the Social Service people or DDS people tell them that you need some financial assistance, They’ll understand better than why you’re stressed out and can help.
Also, try and be positive with your kids, I wish I had understood that when my kids were small. Kids respond so much better to positive praise than negative. Even praise for the little things.. For example, if she’s quiet for 3 or 4 minutes, tell her, “good job’ you used a quiet voice, now mommy will read you two stories at night” or, “you were so good at picking up your toys, now we can go to the park”.. Good luck to you
I may not have a physical formular to your current situation, but no matter how long the night may seem,day break will come, I dont know how you may not even understand how, but believe it, it will be well. I therefore wish to focus on your inner strength, hoping you’re a Christian and ask you to read your Bible on 1 Corinthians 10:13 For no temptation (no trial ), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not [b]adjusted and [c]adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to [d]a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.
You can make, you will make it.