I Want to come clean
Posted by Anonymous in Guilt on Feb 24th, 2010 | 6 commentsThese are the things that I wanted to come clean about.
As a child if my parents and I would get in a huge fight resulting in my dad giving me a butt whooping I would go outside to my swing set and jump off of it onto my legs until my legs were bruised. That was when I was 8. Last year when I entered middle school everything was fine until this year began. Right now I am in seventh grade. At the beging of the year my favorite band director quit because a senior was sending him text messages that were not appropriate. He would have gotten fired anyway. He left me a letter saying why he quit and that he was sorry. This year My mother forced me into a high language class and a high math class. I diddn’t understand anything in the math class and usually had to leave class early from the stress I was faced with. Before Winter break I changed Math classes since there was somehow an open class. When I had a study hall every Wenesday the school Counsler would come talk to me. In band I would sometimes have panic attacks and a couple times on the way to the Clinic I would end up fainting because we had pop quizzes on song that I had no clue on how to play since I usually spent 7 hours on homework a night mostly trying to figure out my math. I diddn’t make it on the honor role for the first quarter of the school year. I’ve been an all A and B student since we started getting letter grades. the second quarter I got a D in all of my classes execpt band. This year my dog also died.
A coule times since the first quarter I’ve thought about killing myself. I have also developed EDNOS or Earing Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I have also considered purging (making yourself throw up). Every night after I finnish my homework I go to my room and review the days events and after that I usually cry my self to sleep. I have also gotten high once.
If anyone has anything mean to say about the above please don’t say it.
6 Responses to “ “I Want to come clean”
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You haven’t done anything wrong and have no reason to feel guilt.
Try seeking extra help from a teacher or tutor in math class, but remember math isn’t the most important thing in life!
You are still so young and have so many awesome things left to do in your life. Killing yourself would be really lame because then you will never get to meet new friends, fall in love, go to college ect.
I remember being sad when I was in grade 7 and 8 too, but now I am 24 and am so happy! If I had killed myself I never would have gotten to do so many cool things! And I still have so many more to do! And you do too!
Talk to someone in your family or at your school about how you feel. They will help you.
Enjoy yourself!
If you dont want to be in the extra hard classes i would consider dropping them. Stress is the key cause of depression aswell as a major factor in suicides. trust me i ended up in on weekly visits to a shrink from depression caused by stress. so if you dont need whats causing the stress don’t do it.
You should be having the time of your life right now not worrying so much about your grades. How are you getting on with your classmates? Do you have a good friend that you can have some fun with or talk to about how you are feeling. What do you like doing just for fun…go do it.
I’m a teacher. Guess my subject.. Yes Maths and I am telling you your Maths Grade is not so important. It shouldn’t make you so unhappy.
School should be about much more than grades..try yo have some fun..but if you want to improve things ask your mum to get you some help with the difficult subjects.
My mum always said to me :”as long as you have tried your best i’ll be happy with your grade”. Just try your best!
If you can’t talk to your mum see the counsellor at school. They are there to help you. You are not alone.
The hardest thing about Maths is that it is right or wrong and if you don’t understand the foundation then there will be lots of negative feedback. If you take all that negativity personally it will really bring you down. You mustn’t blame yourself for making mistakes. The teacher should be helping you more. Ask him for more help…go on.
Before you go to bed tonight try to think of one thing that was funny at school. There’s always a reason to laugh, I hope you find one.
Take care of yourself, you are so much more important than school or grades, so don’t let it get you down. And don’t hurt yourself, tell someone how you’re feling and that will help.
You don’t feel looked after right now but you are loved. Sending you a big hug.
I know how you feel…I’ve been there.
You need to tell your mom the classes are too hard for you. If she won’t accept it you need to go to the registrar at your school and say that you need to transfer to the mid-level maths and language classes because the burden on you is too high in these other classes.
I went to a university I didn’t want to go to and took classes I didn’t want to take because my mother wanted it. I know the damage it can do.
Please…change your classes with or without your mother’s blessing. You need your peace of mind back.
Honey,your just a kid! You have way to much stress and expectations for someone your age. It is good to have goal and try to reach them. Your grades are important too, but these should not rule your life. You need to sit down and really talk to your mom. The stress is too much and its not healthy for you to feel the weight on your shoulders that you do. You need time to be a kid and have fun. Most importantly, you need to enjoy school and your friends there, not dread it! Good luck kiddo and hang in there but dont give up! Your life is more important than some class!
this doesnt sound like a confession… it sounds like u just need a little help with anxiety.