I don’t have to courage to tell you
Posted by Anonymous in Guilt on Apr 19th, 2010 | 6 commentsDear CS:
There are some things that I just can’t find the courage to tell you. First I’m sorry for the way I left you, with no real reason but with the stupid excuse that I was leaving the country and not knowing when I would be back. But to tell you the truth I did know that I would be back in two years top. The truth is I decided to end our relationship because I was afraid of how serious we were getting, and most of all I was afraid to fall in love with you. The thing I didn’t realize at that moment is that I was already into deep but I didn’t want to accept it.
I heard from your sister (more like she wrote an anger email to me) that you tried to kill yourself and that you had to be hospitalized for a while all this only 2 weeks after I left. I felt so terrible about it I never meant for you to get hurt or hurt yourself because of me.
Then after a couple of months I discovered something that I didn’t know at the moment I left, the thing that I am more afraid of telling is that I was pregnant. I had twins a boy and a girl, both how I love with all my heart. Of course at first I was terrified and I had thought about giving them in adoption but I just couldn’t I didn’t have the heart to leave them after feeling them move inside me and knowing that I was going to have a part of you with me I couldn’t think that there be anything better in my life.
But all of that was about three years ago and now I’m back in town. I saw you near where I am now working I didn’t dare to come up to you I even hide so you wouldn’t see me. I tell you my heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears I felt like a teenager again. I know I should go to you and tell you about our children but I just can’t and after hearing that you had a fiancee how can I just come out of nowhere like this and tell you you’re a father after I broke your heart that way I did.
That is way I am writing this because I know I’ll never find the courage to tell you. Even if I know that you have the right to know and that my kids have the right to know there father but as I already said I’m to much of a cowered and I am deeply sorry for that.
Sincerely,
The worst person in the world
6 Responses to “ “I don’t have to courage to tell you”
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Not telling him and letting him get married without knowing is the worst mistake you will probably make. When he finds out that you have twins, and he sees them and knows they are his; all the pain he ever felt will leave him. His heart will melt; just make it clear to him that you are interested in child support and all that stuff, but give him an option to be a part of his children’s lives. For that one reason he will forgive you instantly if he truly ever loved you. Maybe he will not take you back; but surely he will forgive you and love you again.
He is probably only getting married to get over you. Have you considered that?
wow. tell him.. please for the kids. even if its an email.. a letter something. before he gets married.
I agree with Servant, you have to tell him, your kids have a right to know their father and he has a right to know that he has children, you cannot deprive the children from their father or him from his kids, you have no right, come over our cowardly quality and go tell him, don’t ruin your childrens life not ever knowing who their father is.
you should tell him.
it is the right thing to do.
if you don’t tell him then you should conceder seeking psychological help.
this guy did NOTHING wrong and you keep screwing him over.
I see the post is old but still…. if you haven’t told him you know your doing the wrong thing, go tell him about the children at least for the children’s sake. Whether or not he’ll be able to forgive you is doesn’t matter what really matters is that the children get to be with there father and he gets to be with his children….. And I really am not judging you at all I know that if we write a confession here is because we must have no one to talk to and we need to feel someone is listening to us and not judging us, and since we really do not know the whole situation just what you wrote we really can’t say much.
But the matter of the fact stays that all children should get to know there parents and a father should get to see his children.