I am a murderer

Yes, I committed a murder, and no one knows about it, they all thought it was an accident.
I held my 8 years old niece and I threw her from seventh floor, after I tried to abuse her, and she was going to tell my brother-her father-about it, the window was low so they thought she fell while playing.
I run to the bathroom after throwing her and I pretended to get out of it on hearing her screams.
I can’t bare it anymore, I thought many times about killing myself, but I am afraid to do it.
I think confessing will remove some of the load from my heart, but still I am a murderer.

154 thoughts on “I am a murderer

  1. yep, you’re a murderer, alright. a child murderer, at that! it seems a pedophile too, since the murder was to cover up abuse of an 8 year old. that is a triple dose of horribleness. you should definitely look into suicide before you do this again.

  2. I wonder how your brother would react if he found out that you straight up murdered his eight year old daughter

  3. IF this story is true, how can yall sit there and say that he doesnt feel anything for anybody or anything? you dont know what he does or doesnt feel. you dont know what he thinks or doesnt think. he evidently feels some remorse or he wouldnt take the chance of saying what he did on here. he would have just kept keeping on and not worrying about it. DAMN people, show some common sense. i know, because i could probably kill just about all of yall and NOT feel a damn thing. i have no compassion, no sense of wrong doing, no conscience, be it right or wrong, i DONT CARE!!! and it is not a good thing. if i hurt someone, it doesnt bother me. even if it is a family member, doesnt bother me. it sucks!!

  4. Ask yourself why you did this. You never got caught? Wow. So you avoided the police investigation?? I honestly don’t know what to say about this. I couldn’t imagine ever killing someone; especially an innocent female child! I would only kill in self defense. You are a murderer and will have to pay for what you have done in this life or the next, I do believe. Death is 100% permanent and there is nothing you can do to reverse this action. What are you going to do now??

  5. this is going to sound horrible but…dont feel guilty dude. god does not exist so their is no moral arbiter and you arent going to hell or anything. is it ****** up? of course! but since their is no god, all morality is just opinion. the only reason u think what you did was wrong is due to the society you live in. people have been killing and raping each other since the dawn of man. and not a single one of them burned in hell. so, while i think u are a bad person (from my subjectiv perspective) YOU dont have to think your a bad person

  6. I don’t think your deserve to die yet… you need to turn yourself in and live with the guilt and consequences of your disgusting actions.

  7. Give your niece and her family a little of the justice they deserve. Turn yourself in to the law authorities. Please do this today for you will not escape. The truth will be exposed and you will be tracked down.

  8. Nothing is really good or bad. Forgive yourself and that’s it. Nothing is an accident either. The world is PERFECT. If you look in your ancestors, I am sure there were cases of Incest and things related to that. So, you might be just repeating a pattern.

  9. I feel your pain. I’ve been in the same situation. In may 2013, I sawed at my 6yr old nephew with a bread knife. Well done for confessing to the internet, as I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Just don’t commit suicide. One life lost should not be paid back,with another. Apologise to your brother and his wife, and don’t forget : you are not a monster. If you we’re, you would be massacring people with no regret. You are not a psychopath.

  10. Whatever you do, DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. You have wronged, but that does not mean that another life should be lost. Look, if you were a monster, you would feel no guilt and continue murdering. You obviously regret it, and I’m 99% sure that you wouldn’t do it again. You are a human being, not some cold blooded killer. You’re not a sociopath or a psycho. You are simply a man who was driven by sexual desire to do something horrible.

  11. Don’t kill yourself. Yes, you will have to live with what you have done, but there is nothing you can do to bring back your niece. My suggestion is start an action. Do something that will prevent others from doing the same. Don’t give up and kill yourself. You owe it to that little girl and her family to make it up to her.

  12. look i know its hard to live with guilt i suggest u to read-“THE GUILTY ONE”by Lisa Ballantyne…..it will help u overcome ur guilt and also it will help u to make a decision about your murder…never ever think about sucide it is the coward’s way…be brave and face reality…and plz do reply to my comment…i would really like to know how r u doing :-)

  13. If you confess your dead. Two ways out: Live with it, or kill yourself. You weren’t scared to end someone else’s life, so don’t be scared to end your own.

    1. Are you seriously proposing to another human being to kill himself? What he did is horrible but if he devotes his life to making things right and never tries to abuse anyone anymore he can still have a life of his own. His guilt is the reason I feel sorry for him, it means that he is not a cold blooded killer, more like a person dragged into something created by his own sexual impulses and regretted every second of his actions.

      1. but he abused her BEFORE he killed her , so he still deserves jail. AND why would you kill your neice and keep the secret? That would have given you more time in prison for lying about murdering someone WHEN you confess. ALSO he didnt confess, he just LIED!

  14. Tell your story to the world. Raise awareness. Dedicate your life to it.
    You owe that to her and everyone that cried for her.
    You dont matter.
    Your guilt is real. You did that.
    Write your wronngs by raising awareness.

  15. Confess to her father. Join the church or something.
    It bothers more what u tried to do more than the fact u killed.
    Is this real? Holy shit.
    Turn yourself in you fuckinig idiot.

  16. Doesn’t matter how young you were, if it’s in you it’s in you!
    If that wee girl was alive today and told someone what had happened people would say “it’s ok you were only young” NO
    you destroyed someone’s life alive or dead, if she was alive today she would have to live what you had done to her and now she isn’t people have to live with her death and tha us YOUR fault

  17. I think that the chance that this guy is going to turn himself in is pretty slim. So it is pretty likely that he is going to get away with the horrible crime that he described.

    But if his conscience is really bothering him, he should at the very least seek counseling so that he can eliminate/control his impulse to molest children.

    If you don’t have the courage to face the punishment for your past crime(s), then you have an obligation to see that you don’t victimize anybody else.

  18. I will not yell at you for what you have done or judge you anymore than the others here already have. I only wish to tell you: CONFESS.

  19. I think most people can agree what you did was sick and awful. Unfortunately, what happened has already passed. You cannot take back the life you took.

    I am not sure how old you were when this happened, but I can imagine this happening when very young…

    I would suggest instead of killing yourself, try doing something good. You can’t take back the past, but you can become a better person for the future.

    Good luck.

  20. So… You tried to abuse your eight year old niece and then killed her, and the only thing you’re worrying about is your own state of mind? What about that little girl? What about the last memory she’ll ever have had was of you trying to abuse her and throwing her off a balcony? What about the life you almost ruined then, when you couldn’t, distinguished it? What about the parents? Don’t you think they have a right to know?

    You are a monster. You’ve taken one life and wrecked at least two, and all you can ******* think about is how to make yourself feel better?

  21. I always find it funny when people try to preach about how normal and good they are. The fact is, Society creates people like this. PERIOD!!! We live in a world where some people are born rich and will never know the pain of hunger. Some our born so poor they never no the satisfaction of any meal at all. It is human nature to want everything you can touch, but reality is that most people will never even go on a real vacation. Societies bias turns people into monsters. Monsters do not create Society!

  22. I can’t believe people are trying to justify this totally unforgivable act. Of course you feel guilt, you performed the two most morally disgraceful acts a human can commit, abuse then murder of a child.

    Since there is no magical law enforcer beyond the stars, it is upto humans to punish and lay laws down for acts like this. You have to take responsibility and go to prison, you do not deserve your liberty and freedom.

  23. Bitch got some crazy ass problems, your a HUMAN, why would you want to kill another? ****** up, why would you want to harm another being?
    3 words.
    Rot in hell

  24. You should tell your brother what you did and he’d probably kill you so you won’t need to worry about killing yourself

  25. If it was MY child you killed, I’d kill YOU with my bare hands. You better hope the parents of this dead girl do not find out you did it. You sick bastard. OFF yourself.

  26. Considering there are far too many people on Earth I have no objection to someone killing people, but try to have a good reason to do it (you know they are a pedophile or a rapist or a drug manufacturer or something terrible). Killing people needs to be done. But, by principle you fall into the category of people who need to go. The principle or simple murder being justified is only justified after the person is mature and has proven themselves inept and evil or having no worth. You have taken the life of an innocent. If the people I notify don’t track you down, I sincerely hope you kill yourself.

    1. Oh yeah. Killing an 8 year old is a good way to get rid of people.
      If you think there are too many people. Do yourself and the world a favor and kill yourself =)

  27. Turn youself in, you took a 8 years old girl life away, you have no right to live yours. Go to jail, rot in jail and burn in hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. You other people telling him he should kill himself are just as worse as him. I posted a comment a few months ago saying I don’t think it’s true, because if it was it would have shown up on the autopsy. Of course I could be wrong. But even if it is a joke it’s still sick and disgusting.

  29. Jump off the 7th story of a building. What you did was evil and it’s only a matter of time before that manifests into a breaking point. If your family finds out you will ruin them and their name. It will resurface a horrible event that happened to them. I feel horrible telling you this but you killed a little girl, a niece, a child. Justice needs to prevail.

  30. April 5, 2011 at 9:15 pm Listen dude… Im gonna tell you this First of all we all do bad shit as well as good and to be totally honest ur not a bad guy, just made a bad decision and things for you turned out shit. If this makes you feel better we all do what u do except you were the unlucky one whereby the situation turned utter shit. If I were you and this was really getting to you heres what i’d do: -Run off to the middle of no where give urself some space and time to think. Don’t listen to anyone and keep telling urself to **** the world and priorities gaining mental strength. U WILL NEVER GET OVER IT, JUST DONT DENY WHAT U DID BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE… BUT GAIN MENTAL CONTROL. -Slowly ease your way up in life, AND NEVER GIVE UP ON URSELF.

  31. The parents need to know! they need to know that it wasn’t something they did or could have prevented.

    Confess to a priest even if you aren’t religious. I think you should start by telling someone. Then move your way onto eventually (hopefully sooner than later) The police. Don’t tell your brother as he might kill you and destroy his life even more so.

    Don’t worry. Your brother will find out when shit breaks loose. If you want to die that’s easy. Let your inmates know why you are there.

  32. thats bad! maybe you will be send to hell if i had been on your part it would be difficult to turn myself in i would enjoy my life to the full as i know after this life where i am going to go is HELL god bless you

  33. I did 11yrs. in prison from 2000 to 2011. Regardless of what u do, karma is gonna have its way with u. In prison not only will u have to do ur time, but people like u are brutality beaten & raped repeatedly all the time.& on the outside, you’ll probably suffer from some fatal disease & die an horrible death. Either way you’re gonna have to live w/ what you’ve done & die bc of it. You’re gonna get what u deserve!

  34. you have two options… well three actually

    1. confess
    2. keep it to yourself
    3. kill yourself.

    those are your only options.

    i suggest you keep it to yourself. you cant undo it. if you believe in afterlife then you will have to answer for it. if not then nothing matters anyway.

  35. Mr. Murderer since you are allowing yourself, for once in your life, a moment to be in complete brutal honesty then you should hear an honest reply. I’m atheist so I don’t believe you are going to hell but what you did was very wrong. I feel your punishment is to live a life in regret of what you did with endless sleepless nights, self loathing, and self hatred. A lifetime of this will perhaps give you what you deserve. If you kill yourself you take the easy way out.

  36. People need to learn to forgive and forget. The lord sayeth, he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

    If he is sorry what he did, he should be forgiven. People can change.

    1. Your kidding arent you. Thats the problem with these rweligious types they think that people can commit an offence then confess there sins and all is forgiven until the next time. Your just as bad as this sicko

  37. You ******* sick bitch, why the hell would you do that?! If you were not such a spine-less coward, you would confess to your brother about what you did!

  38. I seriously think you ought to write a letter stating your actions, and then kill yourself. There’s no coming back from this one.

  39. This is one evil world.. If this is true U r sick as hell… If it isnt true u r still sick as hell.. and 9.5 times out of 10 ur going to HELL…PEACE out Idiot and to ALL the idiots that are telln u to keep quiet…Freakn psychos…

    1. you are no different to any murderer, what is different however are your life influences, experiences, and a trillion other factors.
      Accept the bad with the good.
      Your selfishness is what is wrong with our species.

    2. When god gave his ten commandments he did not put them in order from good to bad every sin is counted as a sin towards god yes confession could help but what these people that say you are a bad person don’t realise is that you are already living in hell everyday worrying about someone finding out affraid to do anything for fear you have been discovered everytrip home feels like such a long trip because you never know of someone is waiting for you on the other side of that door. Now I have never killed or anything but I studied to be a psychologist these people like the one that originally posted live in a hell that no one else here can ever imagine these people reach a point where they can’t decide if its better to confess and hope for relief while having everyone deny you familly leave you and person you ever meeet in your future and being hated by selfish people like the people here who say that you are bad. Living in your own hell and being tormented every second of ever year or killing yourself you can’t decide if your familly will be more hurt over your death or fiding out what really happened. This is a hell that most people can never come close to feeling and I hope they never due I hope you continue to make people feel like crap for the rest of yalls lives so you won’t be the person in the other shoes because no one should ever feel this pain. But remember if you have ever stole looked at a woman or man with even the slightest bit of lust wanted something someone else had God sees you the same way as this original poster. If you want to give that image of people like this then you are also giving yourself that same image

  40. Whilst this could be true I think it’s a fake. Surely if he sexually abused her it would show up on the autopsy? Also I think this person is very sick to even joke about something like this.

  41. The person I admire the most in my life always says something. He says “Own your actions.”

    In other words, Man up. You may feel like this situation is over, but it will never really be over until you Man up, take responsibility for the things that you have done, own your actions, and allow the truth to come out. Do it. Be an Adult. Be a man.

    On a side note, I ABSOLUTELY agree with HaterWife.

    I sincerely pray to God that either this person has the gumption to do what they need to do and own their actions, or that the owners of this website are wise enough to do what THEY need to do. Or both. Both would be good.

  42. It is sad that you killed your 8 year old niece. If my brother killed my daughter by throwing her from the 7th floor, I’d never forgive him. Whether you had anger management issues or are just that evil, I think you should feel terrible for it. I would never forgive you and I hope your brother doesn’t forgive you. As awful as what I’m saying, you do not deserve anything else from your brother or anybody but you do deserve to tell them what happened.

  43. Here’s what you do. You aquire a gun. You sit your brother down for a “chat” and hand him the gun. You then confess to him the TRUTH and let him decide your fate. He either calls the police or he does what I would do…put a .45 ACP through your head. Child killers don’t deserve to live.

    1. Yeah, I kinda agree with this. If I were in that situation and had the courage, I’d tell my brother and hand him a gun myself. :|

  44. im sorry if i sound cruel but you need to be in prison and just be stripped away from society and the rest of the world , or kill yourself .

  45. I have to say that I think it’s extremely wrong that this post is still up here and I can only hope that the person(s) who own this page reported this to the police.

    Did you?

  46. i know the guilt you feel, i understand how YOUr whole day is now filled With those fInal images pLaying over and over in frame by frame detaiL.

    just know, that it doeS fade in time. yoU will neveR forget it, not eVen for a day. but you wIll eVentually only seE the image of her once or twice a day. thats about as good as it gets…..

    be strong

  47. When you are sitting there debating suicide you need to think about this….. That poor little girl would have probably grown up to have a good husband and children of her own, she had a life, she was a human who hurts and breathes just like you. And you took that from her, you took her life. Can you imagine the pain she must have felt, even if only a brief second when she hit the ground? Can you imagine the pain of her mother and father, the pain of losing a child? You have stolen more then just a life. You stole a child, a future wife, a future mother, a grandchild. And you took away something that you can never give back no matter how sorry you think you are…. So when the guilt takes over you, if you have a soul that is make sure that when you kill yourself dont do it with a gun, you dont deserve to die that quickly….

    1. What business is it of yours how they die? What business is it of yours whether they die or not? What does it solve? You’re simply imposing your own will, your own judgment, on someone else — and making nothing any better.

      1. ????LOL???? WTF’s the go with that comment?

        How can you be so blasé about a molestation and murder?

        Shoe… other foot…. you know how it goes!!!

  48. you mollested and killed a child you sick ****. what the hell is wrong with you? you post this on the web in hopes that people will feel sorry for you? i hope the tragic death of your niece by your own hands eats at you ever day, and every night when you close your eyes to sleep…i hope you see her poor little face. my advice to you: shoot yourself in the head you worthless piece of shit. people like YOU dont deserve to be alive!

    1. There is no such thing as People like you it only exists in the observer state of a human being. There are only people, and we could of all done what he done given his situation, life influences and a trillion other factors.
      It’s easy to judge when u only have an outcome.

      Just because you don’t understand does not make it wrong.
      Anything that happens on EARTH is natural and it should be treated as such.
      For every action is a reaction.
      Sometimes it leads to an explosion and sometimes it slowly bubbles away.

      Not everyone had a choice to be who they are, that choice was stripped of them from an early age or a traumatic experience that sets of the Primitive Reptilian part of the brain often referred to as an ego!
      This part of the brains sole purpose is to survive, But if the danger does not go away and the ego is not calmed and retreated Consequences of this action can result in things that can only be understood by a logical intelligent person who has both used and fed their ego.
      End of!
      FIN!

      1. Last I checked, filth, child molesting and murdering little girls was a choice. Stop attempting to humanize people who do this or trying to make them seem “just like everyone else” when they’re not.

        That could have been your daughter, or your sister, or you.

    1. I think you should tell people even if everyone hates you – you will still feel better for doing this. It’s the right thing to do.

      Coming from a 12 year old girl.

  49. sounds like you have an anger-management problem and fianlly snapped…not to justify what you did because its horrid. I know one thing through experience though, i hurt some very close friends by being on drugs and stealing from them, i could not live with myself until i confessed to them and they actually forgave me. WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT YOU MUST CONFESS WHAT YOU DID TO THE PEOPLE IT HURT THE MOST IF YOU EVER WANT TO FEEL ANY PEACE. YOU WILL ALSO GO TO JAIL BUT…YOU DID TAKE AN INOCENT LIFE. BE A REAL MAN NOW.

    1. Totally agree.
      You need to confess.
      How is it fair that you have a life when you took the innocent life of a young child – and for simply wanting to tell of the disgusting acts you subjected her to?

      I think your brother and his family deserve the truth! Do you still keep in touch with your brother? Get together at Christmas and Birthdays? You make me sick!

      You should pay for taking that precious child’s life, so please do not kill yourself, you have a lot of pain and punishment to suffer yet on earth before spending eternity in hell.

  50. you feel remorse..that shows that you have some good in you. you have to put this situation right… the right thing to do is to confess, but it is understandable if you just can’t do it. pray for forgiveness every single day devote your life to charity work and helping others and let your neice know that you are very sorry.. do not commit suicide as suicide is a sin and even if you are not religious you will have commited two huge sins.. just try and put things right and i wish you the best x

    1. he is not a sick man.
      we all have urges to do this.
      we are imperfect spontaneous beings of evil.

      it is to no shock that he did what he did.

      i am similar too. i am sure many out there are in the same situation

      1. Yeah, this is… bad. Really really bad. You robbed that poor girl of her life. :/ It’s awful. But when you get angry at someone, do you think that hitting them might be morally wrong? There are some people that have problems with their anger, and let it control them.

        It’s stupid to act like that isn’t natural, as if you are all above such people.

        However, the fact that he could not control her anger enough to save a life, or at least keep herself from committing such a HORRIBLE crime is just wrong. You should turn yourself in. You really can’t escape the guilt.

  51. hey dummy keep ur mouth shut. this is how they got the kennedy cousin skakel admitting to a murder in drug rehab. i can see it now: murderer confesses online and appeals his conviction to the u.s. supreme court citing privacy and confidentialty laws. i stopped caring about male murderers getting caught for killing females when i saw that woman get away w blowing away her minister husband in tennessee. the women in the church rallied around her only because they both shared vaginas. sick of the anti male sexism and double standards in the judicial system. like the duke rape bitch who wasnt even prosecuted for false rape allegations cuz she had mental issues. so! let that be her defense then. so i hope u get away with it like the women do all the time.

    1. so are you still molesting children or was she the only one? p.s. I think you should maybe through yourself off a tall building that would be poetic justice and may help give peace to your soul. I don’t mean that in a harsh way, I am just saying you may feel relief after you off yourself.

    2. Why?
      There are many answers.
      But none of them is “right”.
      I feel your compunction.
      From now on, make “good” deeds.
      You will feel easyer.
      Do not tell anyone.
      Nothing good will come from it.
      In most difficult situations, the only thing that can restore a man is making others less desperate.
      Help the poor.
      Make “love”.
      And you will be forgotten.

    3. But, it wasn’t a woman you idiot, it was a child. He said he tried to abuse her what the **** do you think he meant? He wanted her like a woman.

    4. Yes i do agree with you about the legal system the whit american mail is the bigest one that is discriminated person in the world today. But I CAN NOT condone the killing of a child!!!

  52. My point is dont report or do anything. Leave all in the hands of God and truly in your heart seek Gods mercy and whatever HE lets happen to you accept as HIS sovereign will. YOU WILL BE SURPRISED AND YOU WILL REMEMBER ME ALWAYS…. be well my friend. Jesus died so that we have HOPE for this life is just a temporary phase. Where we spend eternity is so so critical/important.

  53. There are the right answers in here for you. As I am a lawyer this is my advice. There are 2 judicial systems. Admissions to the police are not right. There is a superior system of justice and that is God. If God wants you in jail for a day or a year HE will get you there. But God wants your repentence. Repent and it is apparent you feel guilt but truly learn and live this God. HE forgives. if HE puts you at the mercy of the human judicial system (which i know is very very imperfect all over the world), HE will get you there. I know of many who have tried to avoid and who have failed the human judicial system. HE will have those who seek your arrest and convition show mercy on you. My point is do nothing but be true to your repentence and call on Jesus Christ.

  54. Yes, you did a terrible crime, but going to prison will not bring your niece back. Get treatment and spend your life contributing to society in an attempt to make amends. If you ever feel the urge to abuse another child, do anything and everything to prevent it from happening.

  55. You need to turn yourself in, tell everyone what happened and go to jail. There will be plenty of nice guys that will do to you what you were trying to do to the little girl. It will help you forgive yourself when you pay for it. And then end your life on some miserable way and go to hell ’cause you really don’t deserve to live. I wish you misery and suffering.

  56. [quote post=”1538″]I held my 8 years old niece and I threw her from seventh floor, after I tried to abuse her[/quote]

    HAS ANYONE TURNED THIS GUY IN!?!?!?

  57. Good to know that you feel guilty. That’s not enough though. Report to the police or die in a hole somewhere.
    Seriously, you already abused her! Why did you kill her too! She’s your brother daughter! What kind of an aunt are you?!
    you’re an asswipe!!!!!
    i really hope you go die in a hole! XD
    if i was your niece, i probs would come back to haunt you. If I was your niece, I would pull your leg in your sleep, and throw you out of the window.

  58. You are a monster.

    Monsters are not deformed nor are they supernatural. We don’t need zombies, werewolves or vampires to define monsters.

    These fictions merely allieviate anxiety.

    Behavior defines what we are.

    You destroyed innocence and then to avoid shame of what you knew was wrong, you killed a child as you would an insect or other annoyance.

    You go on with your guilt ridden life, lamenting and reproaching yourself in a sea of self pity. You see this as pennance but it is not.

    Most monsters feel their own pain.

    Humans are capable of doing things where they should no longer have the right to be here. This is the only salient agrument for capital punishment.

    You are an example of this.

    Nothing you do can attone for what happened.

    You are a monster.

  59. Some of the reply to this post are stupid!
    You killed your niece who was still young.
    Maybe you should have jumped into that building with her and took your own life so that way you are at peace.
    YOUR A STUPID PERSON WHO DESERVE TO BE TORTURED! Just like the person who replied to this post as a molester You people are both disgusting people!

  60. That is disgusting. How can you tell someone to do that?? Hurting yourslef is not a sane way to deal with your issues. Think of how that affects your family.

    Clearly he has severe psychological issues- that jail, ‘help’ , cutting and PRAYER definately wont fix. How can you believe that God forgives for something like this if you ask, but not for a simple lie if you dont. Get your heads out of the bible and think about what you are saying.

    Admit yourself to an institution where You cant hurt anyone ever again, you can deal with your mental illness. Spend the rest of your life guilty and on your own, it’s what you deserve. Dont tell your brother now, it will only ruin his life all over again

  61. I know this story, the details aren’t exact but are very similar. I know who you are. Do you know what happens to child murderers and child rapists in prison? You’d better kill yourself, I’ve made a copy of you post and am going to the police. You’re done.
    -TS

  62. i am a victim of a molester. it was over fourty years ago, although he did me again when i was a teen. i am still after all these years, a cutter. that is, i cut myself, purposely. it’s the way i deal with pain and intense emotion. sometimes i cut myself so deeply that i need to be stitched up. a few times i have passed from blood loss and my husband has called paramedics. but mostly i do my own first aid and steristrip it because i don’t want them to put me in the psych ward again. i know it needs to be stitched, but i can’t afford any more hospital visits.

    this is what i want from you. i want you to be a cutter like me. i want you to experience what i have to experience. it doesn’t hurt, i get semi disassociated and don’t feel the pain. i like seeing all the blood though, i like seeing it run, spill, and puddle under me. it will never be enough to attone for your sins, that’s why i must do it so often, and that is why you will too. cut on your upper thighs, there are many large veins there and even if you wear shorts, no one can see your cuts.

    i want you to cut yourself everytime you think of her. i want you to cut yourself everytime you think of another child.

    1. As a fellow cutter that went on to get a degree for psychiatry, you need help. You, of all people, should know what a disease self harm is if anything you’re saying is true. For you to wish the pain and humiliation of self harm onto another person, obviously shows me how sick you are. Seek treatment, the psych ward is exactly where you need to be.

  63. Honestly, I would not admit to it. Just go on with your life and see how you feel in 20 or so years, if you still feel bad then confess then. From what all these religious nuts are preaching then forgiveness from “Jeebus” does not have a shelf-life. Also there is no statute of limitations on murder so the law will still punish you then if you so choose to admit it.

    Do not be fooled into thinking your brother would ever forgive you. If it ever comes out that it was murder then that relationship is over. Also keep in mind that in prison (Federal) it is commonplace for inmates to punish people who abuse children (eg. gang-rape).

    So basically your two options are dealing with the guilt, or being assraped to death… literally. Ironically it boils down to whether or not you believe in a higher power that would/will punish you after this life to decide which is the best course of action, assuming your only desire is to endure the least amount of pain.

  64. I cannot believe the audacity of some of these posters. Yes, what he did was evil, but hurling insults and calling him all sorts of names isn’t going to help anyone. It’s not going to help him deal with this or bring the dead child back to life.

    Yes, he made a mistake. A HUGE mistake. But aren’t we all capable of making mistakes? Don’t kid yourself if you think you know for sure that you wouldn’t do something as evil as what his person did.

    We all think we are inherently good, when we are not. We are all, to some degree, broken and selfish. We are all capable of evil.

    “I’m a murderer”: If you are still reading these replies, I’d recommend that you turn yourself in. Whether you’d be forgiven or not, I don’t know. But I do believe that you need to own your mistake… even if that costs you your life.

  65. maybe it will be worse for his brother to hear what happened? i dont know…..u need to take responsibility…….how i dont know but dont harm anymore lives is my response

  66. Guess what…all of our sins are equal in Gods eyes. ALL OF THEM!! So, you murdering someone is equal to a lie a told a week ago. But the GOOD NEWS IS that it is not a lifestyle of yours, murdering others, it was a one time mistake that you need God’s forgiveness for. He, after all, is in control of where you spend eternity. He knows how sorry you are. Perhaps he will feel compassion on you and show how merciful he is if you confess first. Have you read all the confessions on here? People are crazy!! Including me! So, we all need Gods forgiveness. All I can say is give your life to God. He loves you no matter what you’ve done. Let this be your wake up call that you need him.

  67. Being put to death?
    Is that all you people can think of?
    You really think that execution is right?
    Maybe you’re the one that has something wrong with you. This man is clearly troubled and regretting what he did. He’s reaching out for a little support. He knows what he did is wrong.
    If you want to kill someone for killing another, doesn’t that make you just as bad as him? At least he’s admitting his guilt and not bitching about how the little girl should have died for threatening to rat him out!
    You should be ashamed of yourself!
    The death penalty is NOT an option. If you really think it helps detour criminals, think again. Take a look at the stats. The states that have the death penalty actually have a HIGHER crime rate than the states that don’t.
    And how many innocent people will be put to death with the penalty in place?
    Do some research and have a heart. You make me sick.

  68. Don’t kill yourself over it though it won’t allow you to escape. Try to avoid jail as well, society is not set up perfectly. You are a good person now because you have learned from what has happened. Don’t throw that away. Let time heal the confessional needs.

    How can you tell this man to avoid jail???He killed and INNOCENT CHILD..DAMN IT WAS HIS NIECE.

  69. What this man did was horrific and he needs to be punished BUT telling him he doesn’t deserve to live is wrong.If he kills himself noone will ever know the truth and he won’t truly be punished.He needs to go forward with what he did and accept his punishment.For murdering a child it needs to be the death sentence.My bil’s brother killed his gf’s 2yr old daughter in 07.He was a good guy but even though I know him I still feel he should be put to death.Children cannot defend themselves and because of that people who hurt them should get the harshest punishment out there.I have 3 kids and one in Heaven (miscarriage) I would kill someone if they hurt my babies.When I miscarried the one it devastated me.If I see on the news where a young child was murdered I break down because even though I don’t know that child or family personally that’s still a young child who didn’t get to live a long life.YOU OWE THE CHILD YOU MURDERED.STAND UP BE A MAN AND TURN YOURSELF IN.LET YOUR BROTHER KNOW WHAT YOU DID BUT DO IT AFTER YOUR BEHIND BARS SO HE DOESN’T KILL YOU AND END UP GOING TO JAIL FOR YOUR MURDER.I hate the fact that if a person kills your child you will go to jail for murder if you kill them….grrrrrr

  70. After reading this confession and some of the responses, I am truely disturbed by the lack of compassion people have.
    I will not pretend that I think what you did is wrong but it is clear that you are hurting and came to this site as a way of healing.
    You really should go to the police and tell them what happened. Going to your brother yourself might be a dangerous idea because in his anger he may hurt you. Write him a letter explaining everything and exactly how you feel. Don’t hold back. He needs to hear everything.
    Be honest with what you did. You will have to serve jail time and pay for what you did but it is a lot better than lying all your life and living with regret.
    Be strong and do what is right.
    I’m sorry this happened and am sure the little girl in heaven will forgive you once you admit your guilt.

  71. The world is ****** up. False religion has tricked people into thinking sex is bad. Because of this men are unable to express themselves properly. This is why child rape happens. Don’t kill yourself over it though it won’t allow you to escape. Try to avoid jail as well, society is not set up perfectly. You are a good person now because you have learned from what has happened. Don’t throw that away. Let time heal the confessional needs.

  72. I have read your confession. I feel I must respond. As a Christian, I know the love and forgiveness Christ offers. The point of the Christian faith is that Christ died for us all, so that we can have the forgiveness you so desperately seek. The very fact that you feel guilty is proof that God is working in your heart. I think you must confess this to your family, but ultimately you must also ask forgiveness from God. It is a lie that you will burn in Hell. Jesus paid the penalty for your sin and mine, so that we will be forgiven when we do wrong, but you must accept the gift God has given you. I am not a crazy Christian, who lurks on websites and harrasses people who don’t believe. I am a Christian counselor and I know of many, many people delivered from depression, guilt, unforgivess and set free from the despair you feel. Then, after confessing your secret, if you do go to prison, your heart will be free. That is much better than the “prison” you are in now, in which you see now way out, other than suicide. Stop reading hatred filled responses to this post. If we all go what we deserved, we would all burn in hell. I am praying for you. I also think you should find a good christian counselor in your area to explain Christianity to you, and help you sort it through. Even if you don’t believe, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Do you have a bible? Start reading it. In there you will find words of solace encouragement and truth.Read through the Psalms, and read the gospel of John. But your must bring your dark secret into the light. Only then will the healing begin, for everyone.

  73. If what you say is true then you are a child molester and a murderer.

    If you are telling the truth you also feel no empathy towards anyone or anything. Also you are a narssisis.

    You are basically someone who really doesn’t feel any guilt towards killing a child.

    The only thing you want is not being castigated for what you did cause in your eyes you did nothing wrong.

    And it doesn’t matter what anyone here tells you cause you will continue to harbor this little secret till the day you drop dead. You are by nature a weak man both physically and mentally.

    You realize that if you go to prison you WILL get raped and maybe die of AIDs or get stabbed to death by one of the various gangs in the system especially when they learn you are a child killer.

    The best we can hope for you is to maybe get car jacked and shot in the face with a shotgun, resulting in a slow painful death. Even that would be too merciful for you.

    And the sad part is that if your brother found out he would kill you like the useless piece of human trash that you are and be man enough to do his time like a man.

    But to be honest if I was a juror in his trial he would walk away a free man and I would walk up to him and commend him for disposing of human trash like you!

    In the end you will burn in hell.

  74. Clearly you wanted to get this off your chest. God knows what was going through your mind when you first tried to abuse your niece, then killed her, but the demons of guilt will always follow you, and you MUST confess and get the punishment you deserve. The guilt will never go away, but the fact that you feel guilt at least shows there is some humanity in you. Do the right thing. Please.

  75. adopt a poor girl child and take care of her with all you heart and support her always in her life… may be u will feel relax..

  76. You need to think about this. What you did was WRONG, and just by confessing on some www you don’t deserve to be rid of your sins! Turn yourself in, either that or….well who knows, you are screwed up killing another human being

  77. you did a horrible thing to a little girl, but God forgives, please talk to God and pray for forgivenss to receive peace to your soul.

  78. If you are indeed telling the truth, which I sort of doubt you are (why would anyone confess to a murder over the internet?), then you should confess this to your local police department and clear your concious. You have to pay for what you did. Consider it obligatory.

    Think about this: what goes around comes around. This is not a religous statement or anything other than that which I have experienced for myself. I am not saying that you will be the victim of a murder, but I firmly believe that if we spread evil then it reciprocates back to us, but if we spread good then it reciprocates back to us as well. Think about that for a second, my friends.

  79. YOU ARE A MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A TERRIBLE THING TO A CHILD! ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT KARMA IS A BITCH! AND TO THOSE WHO FEEL SORRY FOR THIS PERSON, ARE YOU SERIOUS! HE MURDERED A CHILD!!

  80. If you killed once, then you must be apathetic enough to do it again. Apathetic means ‘lack of emotion’. You see, it would be easy to kill another person if you already killed yourself Spiritually and Mentally Corrupted, because you have not the emotion to ‘FEEL’ for ‘ANYTHING’ or ‘ANYONE’ anymore. This dark sea of water you sunk your soul in has became apart of you. Now you are the Darkness. And you will always be hated for what you did, and in pain for it, perhaps thats the only thing you do feel.. So do only what you can do and step forth to the darkness calling you.. and fight fire with fire!.. and kill all the bad people you can find. Find Pedophiles, find molesters and rapists and destroy them. Maybe after that you will feel like you atleast serve some perpace even though your a sick ****!… And then, that will be the only good growing within you, that you can atleast help others…tell no one what you did, justice wont be served! until the justice of millions is served!….and when humpty dumpty falls and all comes to an end, all the kings horses and all the kings men, you will end..

    Study Psychology, group psychology and hang out at Bars, and clubs, and that sort of thing, get to know the sick **** types that hang out in some of these areas with simple entertainment attributes that they all share in common, so that you will know your enemy well enough to hunt them down.

    Study Science, expand your mind, exspecially in forensics, and weapons.

    Study actual crime scene events to get an idea how to get around things, how it works, how the system works, etc.

    Learn to think like a hacker, they can get around things, not just computers. The system is basically like a computer in some philosophical ways.

    Learn to think like a director and act like an actor. Plot your visual minded murders with the art of creativity, visual analogy, PLUS with the knowledge you have been teaching yourself.

    Act and gain confidence enough to lie to the polices face, and get away with it. So when they interigate you and look you in the eyes, they wont see or feel anything of the truth because the truth is your soul is a long ways down into the darkness..

    -Learn how to get past lie detectors and how the Judical and Police system works.

    -Know your rights and learn to think like a LAWYER, to get around things.

    Knowledge truly is power, use it too your will. Creativity however is the most dangerous weapon when you ADD KNOWLEDGE TO IT!

    -Just A Phantom Passer

    1. This ^ . If your listening op, you have already proved your capable of murder so whats stopping you from doing it again? Your also a pedophile so get onto the dark web and chat up other pedo’s, lute them to your house with promises of small kiddies and then kill them, become a pedo hunter and you can redeem yourself.

  81. I’m sorry to hear that. You shouldn’t have done it. Always be sorry for what you did. Don’t be afraid of people finding out what you had done.

    Just face it when if and when the moment comes. Pray that others will forgive you. You’re sorry about what you did and that’s all that matters.

    You can confide in the one person you trust the most that will make you feel better.

    A person who sincerely loves you will forgive you for it and it will make your heart feel light.

    But always feel sorry for what you did.

  82. you did a very big mistake !!! i mean you are an adult and you should have brain right? but enought of this you tried to rape this little girl and that was the stupidest thing that you could have ever done in you life !!! and after this you killed her so she would keep quiet and pretended it was an accident . that in itself was a smart move to save your ass, many would have done the same despite what they say , your were in panick ,but that is not an excuse !! the thing is you shouldn’t do something not carefully planed and that you can not assume . they say you should confesse ,but i think that is cowardice !! because you can only cause more pain with this confession ! do you think your brother will feel better if you tell him “i killed her ,but i’m really sorry” i don’t believe in god so i don’t know about praying .the only thing i know is if you skrew up have at least the guts to assume it!!!!
    kira the shinigami

  83. I cannot understand how peoeple like you still on earth. What is the reason to have someone like you living and enjoying life; while you hurt so many people. I have no merci for people like you. You should be in jail for life, and get riped everyday and you wont be able to do anything about it; just like the little girl she was not able to do anything about it. After all, you will finish in hell.

  84. I cannot understand how peoeple like you still on earth. What is the reason to have someone like you living and enjoying life; while you hurt so many people. I have no merci for people like you. You should be in jail for life, and get riped everyday and you wont be able to do anything about it; just like the little girl she was not able to do anything about it. After all, you will finish in hell.

  85. first of all, unplug ur computer (or atleast dont come back to check the replies after u post ur messages)
    the people who visit this website are probably not in the their right senses.

    what you do NEED to do is to confide it to someone very close to you and in the worst case, get medical help.
    It’ll be alright, i understand how much pain it has caused you. What you did when you were young wasnt right, BUT
    1. you were too young then
    2. All the pain/guilt has probably punished you enough so that you’ve learnt from your mistakes.

    Go confide in someone who you trust. It’s gonna be allright..take care

  86. You need to confess what you did…not only did you take a life of an innocent child, but you ruined her family’s life but taking her from them.

    1. How could someone be so callous and uncaring to actually ruin someone’s life, take out the family either my killing or fear and intimidation and sleep at night, smile, party, etc., etc. HOW???

  87. 1) You are a pedophile because you wanted to abuse your niece. 2) You are a murderer because you killed her. 3) You don’t deserve to be alive because what you did was one of the most terrible things that someone could do.

  88. As hard as you try, you will never be able to rid yourself of the guilt as long as you keep it inside — it will gradually eat away at you, tormenting you in your thoughts and dreams, until you either suffer a nervous breakdown or take your own life. You’ve taken a big step in revealing your indiscretion here but, in order to relieve your soul of the burden which you’ve placed upon it, you must make a public confession to those which have been most affected by your actions…only then will you be free.

  89. omg….how irresponsible of you….you are an adult,you are not retarded,you have your brain to think about your actions and their consequences…you are now a murderer….what can you do to make it better?…if what you’re looking for is a way that will make it easy for you,i don’t think that’s there’s one,there’s nothing you can do for you….but there is one thing you can do for others,specially for your brother,and that is to confess…

  90. Confess it’s the best you can do, and pray for forgiveness from your brother and your family. You took a humans life after trying to inflict pain to her, you know very well that you deserve to be punished, because if you don’t confess you know you will always be hunted be what you did and that will destroy you little by little.

    1. The thing is Light…she’s feeling a little guilt but she’s not feeling THAT MUCH guilt…not enough to lay in the bed she made by confessing. I personally could never hurt an animal or human being but it’s insane to me that people do this and get away with it…..really upsets me.

  91. I know what you feel, pal. I hope you surrender to the police, pray for her soul to be peace and you….TO BURN IN HELL…MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

  92. what kind of sick person are you to KILL your young neice after she tried to get help from abuse you tried to inflict on her?!! you should be in jail! i hope you get what you deserve. your brother will find out what happened and justice will be served. that poor little is looking down on you right now and sees the disgusting evil freak you are. just turn yourself in, thats the least you can do..considering that you did KILL her and take her away from those who really loved her. you are worthless and i hope you get raped and killed one day.

  93. it is not the answer to run away from the truth. u kill a life and u should desirve what u done, coz u will never rest in ur hole life if u keep it to ur self, u would rather destroy urself, i think “its my opinion” to tell the police tha u kill here, and yes u may go to breson and stay ur last year there, but im sure u will be much better

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