Secret Confessions

I had fallen madly in love with a guy, and with little difficulty we made our families meet. They are now happy too. I am going to get married soon next year. We have been together for 4 years.
But in our last year we were not in contact with each other much, as he was away somewhere else.
and just 10 months ago, I met a guy during a multiplayer game. I told him my fake name, I told him I am not engaged, reason being i came to know he lives in the same area that my to-be-husband lives. And I was scared that who knows they may be friends or may become friend and my to-be-husband will find out I have been friends with a guy which he hates(he hates it if i befriend some other guy).
We are now great friends, and sometimes from his conversation I feel as if he loves me, though he hasn’t said so,once he stopped himself expressing himself,he asked me whether i love some one and i replied in negative, and when I in turn asked what if I do love someone then so he replied I will feel at loss that I wont be able to take that person’s place in your heart.
few days back he said he was planning to get married, as his mother is forcing to do so.I asked him what kind of a girl you are looking for…….. and he described qualities that points to me, like “Programmer, web devolper,some one who knows me as a friend and understands me bla bla”
and then he made me promise that i will help him and i will not back out when he will ask me to help him get his girl. I live in eastern society and here culture is different! I am feeling like a cheat!I feel I am the most disgusting person on earth, lying to him(my friend) and hiding my friendship from my lover. I am cheating both
If u ask me whether I love this guy, i will say no i dont love him, yes but i like him very much, I like to talk to him everyday and spent time with him he is a damn nice guy,I like his presence!! but I love my to-be-husband. Many times I decide to end this friendship to tell him the truth but i am scared to lose him, i want to stay friends with him forever…… and maybe I will lose both of them if I do tell the truth! I dont know m going crazy :S can you believe it I am still talking to him while writing this confession?
I HATE MYSELF OH GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!