Bright future with a dark ending
Posted by Anonymous in Guilt on Feb 9th, 2011 | 7 commentsToday was the first day I tried tapping down my breasts. I’m a 34DD. I’m also a National Honor Society student, an All A’s student, an academic decathlon member, and I’ve won state history fair.
I have the future in front of me, but i’ll never be what I want to be most; a boy.
The freedom and joy I felt by getting rid of my breasts for 10 minutes before I couldn’t breathe was better than any award, metal, or recognition that I’ve ever gotten.
7 Responses to “ “Bright future with a dark ending”
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I see that you posted this in “guilt”. There is no reason to feel ashamed.
You are not alone.
I can relate to this a lot. I’m lucky since I could potentially pose as a boy for a while because I have about as much breast tissue as one (no lie), so I couldn’t imagine what it’d be like for you. I know how difficult it is to have all these merits, and yet feel unfulfilled because of gender issues. It IS a lot easier for males a lot of the time, but just try and know that it does get better.
You could always try a sex-change operation, but I don’t know how willing you’d be to do that.
it doesnt have to have a dark ending, because you will be happy in the end, if you will still be that A student but a happier guy ;-)
Ftw Alice!
I was about to say: so, why cant you be happy/a guy/ whatever tickles? :P
Good luck :)
The good thing about the here and now, is that you can become the person you want to be.
Why the dark ending? You already are a boy; you just had the misfortune of being born into the wrong body. Having a physical body that matches our physiological gender is something too many of us take for granted.
You have a bright future ahead of you. You have taken a huge step: you’ve realized who it is you were born to be. You need to accept that it is OKAY. You are NOT ALONE. Have you “come out” to anyone yet?
I suggest that you find others who are like you who have been living as transgender and talk with them. They will be your best source for knowledge and your biggest champions as you face the challenges of living life as a transgender male. I have met so many wonderful people on YouTube who have shared their personal stories and their knowledge of their own transformations– their guilt, their depression, their shame but also their excitement, their victories, their joys.
I have also had the fortune of meeting some of the most amazing people at university who were beginning their transformations. Some of them lost a lot– girlfriends/boyfriends, friends, families, jobs. But they all said that their decision to live an honest life by being true to themselves and acknowledging their true identities was worth it. The first time they put on a binder, cut their hair short, went out in men’s clothes was the scariest yet most liberating experience of their lives.
You sound like an amazing, intelligent young man. You have many exciting and thwarting challenges ahead of you, and I wish you the best of luck!
(Btw, if you plan on regularly tapping your chest down, do NOT use things like Ace bandages, especially because you have a larger chest. It is actually bad for you and can cause health problems. Get a binder. You can find them online, and they are not too expensive.)
I wish I could give you a hug right now and tell you that it will be okay. I know you posted this a while ago, but I hope that things will get better for you.
-S
don’t feel guilt. be proud of being you!
you are a hard working, very intelligent person. it must be hard for you with such a womanly figure but there is no reason for it to be a dark future!
have you considered a sex change? whats dark and depressing about being a hard working, intelligent guy!?
in the mean time you should try finding people with gender issues too. you are NOT alone and this will help you realise this.
i hope your future is bright! good luck :)