Once again I fell for bullshit and trusted someone, someone who called me their ‘soulmate’ and said they couldn’t make it thru a single day without me, yeah….such a sucker, dropped everything to be there for them at all hours of the day and night, missed work, lost friends, blew all my money plus half of my retirement to help this friend, stole from my father…..and out of the blue, they change shifts, tell me as an after thought, only been talking to me when they want or need something, can’t help me financially now that I’m broke….I’m a f****** idiot, when my dad notices his money is gone I will be homeless too, and this “friend” used me and threw me away without a second thought. So I hope her boyfriend keeps cheating on her and she can feel what it is to think someone is there for you and always has your back, she can find out what it is to be used by someone you love and thrown away without a care. I keep having thoughts of walking out to the lake and killing myself, so tired of being used and thrown away. For 35 years it’s been the same story, be it boyfriend or bestfriend, used….then thrown away, put up walls to stop anyone getting close to me, one eventually gets thru, and repeat. I hate myself because I have betrayed the only person on earth that I know actually loves me and cares, my father, and for what? I hope she hurts, I hope she looks back and realizes she deserved all the hurt he caused her.