Married beneath her
Posted by Never mind in Friends on Jul 5th, 2010 | 3 commentsI love my friend. We’ve been mates for over 10 years and always get on brilliant. Then she got into a relationship which quickly esculated into marriage.
I want to put this out there now…There is nothing I desire more than seeing her happy.
I just don’t understand how she is.
This guy is younger, both physically & mentally. He’s brought her down, she is overweight, looks unhealthy & they constantly struggle for money and yet they always find money to fritter away on food/cigs/gambling. They’re both a mess. He can barely string a sentance together through sheer stupidity and has already been in hospital for health reasons.
My friend used to be the life and soul of the party, she was gorgeous and so fun to be around but she’s thrown it all away for someone undeserving of her.
I know love is blind. But I sure as hell didn’t think it was stupid.
3 Responses to “ “Married beneath her”
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I’m sorry to hear that about your friend.. In some ways it reminds me of my former marriage. There may be things going on with your friend that you weren’t aware of.. Self esteem issues, etc.. stemming from where, I couldn’t tell you but that is my best guess..
In my situation, I didn’t marry for love. I married because I was sexually abused by members of my family and I was looking for a way out..
Oh Annona, that’s so sad. But looking through your comments, you sound like a savvy, smart person. I can only assume you have moved on from this terrible part of your life now.
I think with my friend, it was a rebound relationship that became something it shouldn’t have. He’s very possesive and jealous but offered her everything she wanted from her ex (house/marriage etc). She never see’s her friends (unless he’s there) and I think it’s because he doesn’t like her to be reminded of a time in her life without him. I worry that it’s emotional abuse. I just don’t want her to wake up one day and think ‘what have I gotten myself into’?
But then again, maybe I do.
(P.s. If a similar comment appears, it’s cos my computer crashed in middle of submitting so I have retyped, assuming it didn’t work the first time)!!
Thank you, Never Mind. I’m still in the midst of working on my problems but it’s getting better.. Your friend may come to her senses someday. If I can, anyone can!
It sounds like it’s emotional abuse at least, with him trying to isolate her from her friends and her past.. Abusers like to do that
My only advice is (and I have no doubt that you’re doing it already) just be there for your friend. There may be a time in the future that she needs you. I know it’s frustrating to see someone settle but just do your best to build her up and maybe she’ll be secure enough in herself someday to get out