RSSI’m a liar
I wish I knew who I was deep down. In reality, I’m only a guy who trys to please others…
When my friends are down, I’m always the one who they come to if they want to vent, or need advice. So when they come talk to me, I always need to be happy, and secure of myself, so the negative feelings don’t rub off on them. Half of the time, I feel like total shit, and can’t even put up with their crap. I have no idea how I do it. I just wanna die, I’m so bogged down with their stuff.
But then, when my friends are OK, and they ask how I am, I can never tell them that I’m not doing well. I don’t want to bog them down with my emotions…they have too much going on. So yea…I take everything in, but don’t have anyone to talk to.
Sure, I’ll tell people that I know I can come to them if I ever need help or advice or just want to vent, but I can never bring myself to do it when the time comes down to it.
It’s all been going downhill recently. Worse and worse. I’m more depressed, more emotional, more suicidal. I want to show this post to my friends, so I can get help…but then I’ll just scare them away from me. They’ll be afraid of my past, that it’s coming back.
But this isn’t what I went through when I was younger…and that kind of scares me. Because I (now) know how to deal with what I was dealing with then. But this is new. Different. Unique.
And I can’t take it anymore. So if any of my friends see this…please…help me.
Princess Starbucks said on 30 Apr 2008 at 1:28 am # Quote
Apparently there is more to this story then you are telling. Why on earth do you think you would scare your friends away by expressing your emotions back at them? If they can’t give you the same empathy and resepct back then why are you their friend still? Friends are there for one another thru thick and thin. Users are only there for themselves. If your friends care for you the way you care for them, they will be there for you. Simple as that!
wiwi said on 30 Apr 2008 at 4:43 am # Quote
I’m not ur one of ur friends, but i know exactly how u feel. about a year ago i tried to suicide, and i even did what it took, i took all the drugs and left my note. after almost mre than 14 hours i woke up, but i suffered soooo much, then i started thinking, that must be a second chance given to me by GOD. i started a new life, where nothing really mattered, though am still the one everyone comes to when they are in trouble and sad. after a year am still happy, sometimes i do get upset, but then i remember that life is short and i almost lost mine.until this day no one knew about how i felt before what i did, and no one knew that i even tried to suicide. i hope u will think more about your self, and live your life day by day.
Gamer said on 30 Apr 2008 at 3:15 pm # Quote
You’re just a little harsh to yourself. You’re not just a guy who tries to please others, you’re a genuinely good person inside. The fact that you’re willing to sacrifice your feelings for your friends makes you a very rare person to find these days. I agree with Princess Starbucks, if they’re your true friends, they’ll listen. However, don’t start venting to them all of a sudden. If you start relating to their problems, they’ll see you have problems of your own too. Just reveal your problems gradually and there shouldn’t be any shock to your friends.
Virtue said on 01 May 2008 at 3:12 pm # Quote
Just what Gamer said “i know who you are gamer BTW :]”
Ease your emotions in, not all at once, but slowly with your friends.
Im sure over time, you can streathen your relationship with your friends, and be more comfortable with your emotions.
Also, if you really wanna get 1 on 1 talking to anyone here, just say so, we want to help :]
Just A Person said on 17 Aug 2008 at 2:26 am # Quote
You know the reason why you feel depressed all the time? I’ll help you, it’s cause people always go to you and ask advice. I don’t your age, ‘coz it depends how mature you handle things. I too am a mediator, an adviser, the “Dr.Phil” in the class, and like you I feel sad and just wanna die. But y’know what? Say to yourself that you have people that depend on you. And how can you let them go? If you ain’t having a good time with your family, that doesn’t mean you already need to die. I became obsessed with blood because of the problems being poured out on me. I too want to die, but it never happened because everyday I go to school and see all those faces that’ll just break down and be sad or even cry when they find out that I’m not here anymore. It goes the same thing as you do. There are people out there that need, that even you can not see. Oh, and you not knowing who you are…. everyone’s lost in life at some point. Me, thinking if I should ask God to just forget about me. Hope that helped.