Comments on: I hate my best friend’s wife

By: Fah Q

Fah Q — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 06:49:18 +0000

i could understand your view on the jealousy factor but like someone mentioned its a generalized statement and you dont know everybody’s story. my personal story involves a jezebel temptress using her sexuality to lure my best friend into a relationship. as a Christian, i see her casting him down with her and she will cast down his children as well. Now they are engaged and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with God. She is also very reactive defensive and explosive towards anyone that does not go along with her plans. She hates me the ost because i speak truth and call them on their bull$#!+. she doesnt let him be the man in the relationship and she controls everything from what the weddig is going to be like to what cups are going in the cupboard. he’s not allowed to have a say.

By: frusrated

frusrated — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:05:19 +0000

Geez, this must be pretty common.

I have a friend, whom my husband and I’ve been very close friends with for over 25 years.

he met a woman on one of those online dating thing, and then got married. When I first met her, I had some misgivings as they are from very different backgrounds and upbringings, but kept it to myself. It’s his life and choice afterall.

but as years progressed (10 years after marriage), she is turning out to be what I feared.. ultra-competitive nature stemming from her insecurities. She compares and judges everything and anything around her. And she is ultra-competitive evenfor the pettiest detail. if she decides she is above/win, she gloats and shows off. if she decides there is a deficiency, she blames everything and everyone else. If she can’t defend her position, she attacks.

She constantly comares and judges her children against ours and other children, always commenting on all the deficiencies of others, or if she thinks their children are not “quite up to par” blames heavily on something else.

For instance, there was a birthday party for a preschooler at a gymnastics place. over half of the kids never done anything like it before. They stumble, fail, fall, but all are having a good time figuring it out by trial and error, just being kids. There were a few who takes lessons and was doing much better, but the key was, all teh kids were having fun. Except their children. One stumbled and fell, the other one wasn’t doing some of the stuff as “elegantly as the others” (her words, not mine). by the end of the party, she was almost frantic, took her children off to the side, very vocal to everyone, “my little ones have never done these before! It’s too hard! of course they’re going to have trouble!” and very upset. Everybody else was like, “it’s just a kids’ party. what’s the big deal?” and just gave her strange looks. in the end she made her children stand on the sidelines while other kids tumbled and rolled and basically ran amok just being children.

I’ve tried to be cordial as I value my friendship with her husband and I have very high respect for him, but it’s getting to a point it’s just too tiring, to watch what I say, what I do, as not to rattle her competitive mode, and be judged, put down, slighted, gloated upon, whatever. It’s just not pleasant to have any conversation with her, as every conversation seems to end with placing her in a superior light, or listen to her excuses of why she (or her children) are unfairly judged or disadvantaged (!?!?!).

she had a very tough life… and married a very succesful, potentially very wealthy man in the future. and it’s very clear she saw herself as a cinderella when they started (she said this herself too, in the beginning). but now that she has gotten over the “awe” effect, she seems to have this constant need to prove herself that she’s just as good or better than anybody, or something. and all that posturing is just so unnecessary!

unfortunately my friend is lovey-dubby with her, so even if he sees this, it doesn’t bother him.

I’ve been avoiding her as much as I can. my husband, who is also my friend’s close friend, sees the problem with the wife, but at least he can ignore. She just rubs me the wrong way. so everytime they suggest a family get-together, I’ve been making excuses not showing up. but this is getting too taxing for me. I don’t know if our friend has noticed my absences, but…

I guess it’s the case if he inquires, he will hear the truth. But until then, I’ll just stay away as best I can.

sigh

it’s just so sad, because it’s so unnecessary.

thanks for letting me vent. This has been eating me for a while now. May be now I can let go…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 03:34:24 +0000

But why not say something, especially if you plan on or are thinking that all you are going to cut off all ties?

By: Joe

Joe — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 19:30:48 +0000

It sounds like you are too involved in your friends life. Now that he is married, why not pull back a bit and let him be. If he accepts and loves his wife, let them enjoy one another. She will never change for you and you might risk messing up your friendship if you start behaving as if you don’t like her. Maybe it would be helpful for you to develop your own life a bit more so that you don’t feel such harsh feeling for your friend’s wife. Try to concentrate on positive things about her rather than criticizing her unduly.

By: Creeper

Creeper — Mon, 30 May 2011 06:43:29 +0000

Wow… everything you just said.. was borderline psychotic. You need some help. It’s not your place to get that involved in their personal business. And to call CPS? That’s ****** up, especially since you just admitted that you did it to get back at her. Poor kids. Your sick.

By: ouch

ouch — Mon, 30 May 2011 06:36:27 +0000

Well… maybe you shouldn’t have been one of those slutty/cheating/gold digging/lying women that everyone is talking about?

By: afterthought

afterthought — Sun, 29 May 2011 14:40:38 +0000

hi all.
let it go.was good friendship. but let it go. this is one battle you cannot win.
for some friendships its not till death do us part.

By: afterthought

afterthought — Sun, 29 May 2011 14:33:18 +0000

sound like my ex.
only good thing was a child that she now uses to control situations.instead of soaps mine talks or used to talk about money-giving her,not making.dummy.
she had all these sky high schemes of roping a man with child and all. well. she has paid double. and a few more rounds waiting.

By: afterthought

afterthought — Sun, 29 May 2011 14:22:12 +0000

u sick my man.very sick.
doubt you know what hate people
are talking here.

By: Hoorah

Hoorah — Fri, 27 May 2011 15:23:49 +0000

I disagree,you dont have everyone’s full story,for example my situation is not jealousy.My best friend rushed into marriage with a girl that gave it up the first time they met in person(they met on myspace)and after talking to her for 3 weeks,decided he wants to marry the sl*t…She sleeps with anything that walks including her high school teachers when she was underage…but anyway,he asks me to be his best man,and i agreed,although i did not think it was a good idea and had a bad vibe the moment he told me about her.and it got worse the day i met her(in which she was calling him “daddy” in public,instead of babe/baby/honey etc)I explained I dont support the marriage but i support HIM…then I told him again the day before the wedding when he asked my opinion and was expressing(yelling and hitting things in the middle of the night,chain smoking)how much she drives him crazy,and how he “cant believe hes gonna get married”.but,because im a good friend,I just told him how i felt,calmed him down,told him to really think about his decision,and then was STILL there beside him when they said their vows…I toughed out spending with them as husband/wife,but when she cheated on him with MANY men and women(and had video evidence of it on her phone),he was finding out about another person each day,she told him “i Dont want to be married.” and they were planning for divorce,he had just returned from Military training mind you,so she did all this while he was gone.Thats plain LOW,and now he’s claiming that “shes trying” and they’re looking for a house and trying to get pregnant,when the last thing they need to drop in the middle of their dysfunctional relationship,is an innocent baby.
My issue with this whole situation is,after finding out about more than 5 people she cheated or had a full blown affair with,he cheated himself to feel better and laughed about it telling me he would divorce her after tax season,admitting he rushed into marriage only because he wanted someone there to come back home to after training,and the extra money from the government when you have a dependent.AND speaking of money she CLEANED out his bank account at fast food restaurants the whole time he was in training,every paycheck that was deposited for training she spent on random things “because she was mad at him”.I know my Best friend,he is a sweet guy that has been screwed over by every girl he’s been with,but also desperate for the dream of a wife,white picket fence and kids…He likes the IDEA of her.and im sooo sick of hearing him b*tch and complain about her,hearing his divorce plans,and then switch it around and saying he’s staying with her.
so tell me,please oh wise one.Am i jealous?because im no clingy/needy/attention wh*re of a friend,SHE is a conniving,cheating,sl*tty,gold digging,LYING,disgrace of a human being and its sad to watch my friend go through this for 5 simple reasons…
1.money(from the Gov,and to save his GREAT credit score)
2.desperate for a family/American dream
3.pride,scared to prove the people who said “its too soon” right
4.does not think he can do better
5.sex