I hate my best friend’s wife
Posted by Anonymous in Friends on Mar 9th, 2008 | 21 commentsI’ve been very close with a friend of mine for over a decade, now. It’s actually the epitome of what a “best friendship” is. Because of that, when he started dating this girl, I expressed my reservations but was very supportive of him in every way. Eventually, they got married and I’ve always been very sweet to her and never express anything to either of them.
But I can’t deny the truth that everything about her bothers me more and more. From the irrational behaviour and beliefs, to the general white-trashy attitude, to the idiotic certitude in the face of overwhelming evidence to contrary positions.
I don’t know what to do.
21 Responses to “ “I hate my best friend’s wife”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
I have so many questions. I am in a similar situation- I think. But he is my roomate and I wonder if I should act on my jealousy or not. DO you feel like it is jealousy or that the girl just really sucks…or if one might get confused by another? Its so hard to decide.
Oddly enough, a situation very similar to this just happened in my life. A very close friend of mine was involved with a girl who was pretty sketchy. I was not the only one who had reservations regarding the girl, though. Many mutual friends were also like, “Dude, can’t you see her true colors?!” We all could….but he married her. I guess love IS blind.
I feel you. Recently my best friend had the definition of a whirlwind romance with an old classmate of mine. While we always got along before, now all she does is peck at me, pushing my buttons and such. I’ve come to realize that if she were a guy, I’d punch her lights out. As sad as it is, I can’t wait for the wedding so I can just push this friendship out of my mind and move on with my life. Which, I guess is healthy, right?
Just got in an argument with my best friends wife because she is a control freak on him and there are many lies involved from him and her and now im made to look like the bad guy for calling them both on them.
i am in similar situation, i have a friend of over 20 years, i’m 28, i can’t stand his wife, i never liked her, i’ve always been polite and friendly towards her, they have been married for 8 years, I didnt even go to the wedding, I just thought she was using him, i’ve never got a positive good feeling from her, I hate her becuase I feel like she is horrible for him, but now it looks like i have to let them both go because he is totally intertwined with her, he’s become like this half him half her person, so it sux, but i guess its the way things go sometimes, people change and grow..i feel like i have matured and they have both become what they used to hate..and being around him drains me, i no longer want to try and encourage him in life, he sucks off my energy instead of giving me energy..he’s cheated on her, and out of guilt almost od’d..all over a stupid bitch..i’m done **** em both..he’ll have no friends left by the time shes done with him..**** em for being so weak..
Is this a sticky situation or what!? I’m in a very similar situation, they’re not married yet, but I feel lost on how to cope with my best friend’s fiancee.
I am trying to keep our friendship one-on-one, no “partner” talk but it’s not easy. It helps that I’ve been upfront about my dislike of the fiancee but with wedding plans and “true love” getting in the way, it’s difficult not to talk about the loser, in-it-for-US citizenship-fiancee.
Why don’t they believe us that it’s SO MUCH clearer when looking outside-in? If we can be friends and not talk about relationships, I think we’ll be fine.. otherwise, it’s probably best to ditch a friend who makes such completely irrational decisions and who has no value for the advice and concerns of their closest friends.
It is beacuse all of you asses were not supportive of them in the beginning, you were jealous and tried to sabotage the relationship. Think about how that was not your business and your best friends are wimps for not being able to tell you to back off.
It angers me that people who think that they are being “friends” by putting in their two cents about a relationship is being helpful. It’s not. Because of my husbands moronic so-called best friend doing this, my husband and I are now on the verge of a divorce and with three kids in tow with it. Talk about making it not only difficult for us, but also for three innocent children and he’s laughing on the sidelines.
I have to say that the reason I dislike my close friend’s spouse is for very good reason. It’s because he is obnoxious and rude towards me as well as abusive towards her. If he was just abusive towards her then there is only so much a friend can do or say obviously – it’s her relationship & all we can do is be supportive. But he is horrid towards me as well and I haven’t been to visit for a long time because of it. This is his third marriage and it’s not hard to see why! The man is arrogant, rude, childish, denigrating to women, stuck his hand down my top in front of his wife last time I visited (yes…) and likes the sound of his own voice far too much. He’s one of those people who speaks like an authority on everything until you press him and find he actually knows no more than anybody else despite acting like an expert. Once when we went into the local town centre he grabbed her hand and pulled her off ahead of me, leaving me to trail behind them like a freakin concubine or something. Extremely rude! I’ll be here all day if I carry on listing what is wrong with this guy! My friend and I go back a long way (childhood) and it’s really sad that I feel increasingly distanced from her because of her husband. The fact that he swings between outright rudeness and outrageous flirting bordering on flippin sexual assualt towards me is a big reason for staying away! She doesn’t seem to be too bothered by his behaviour and laughs it off but I think it’s because she’s stuck financially with him now.
I can see how some friends can be jealous but this is not the case with me. The man is a nightmare & I really don’t like him.
Another friend of mine (male) has an extremely jealous & possessive wife so we have to walk on eggshells to be in contact! Why do so many decent people marry total nutters?!
I believe in karma….it’s the only thing that keeps me sane…
I am in the same situation with my best friend of over twenty years. Hell I didn’t even go to the wedding. I can’t stand the stupid bitch. She thinks she is all high and mighty because she went to college which is crap. Now I’ve pulled revenge on her and have started turning my best friend against her. she is sick in the head and has to take medication for it so its pretty easy especially considering that I work with the guy I know all his passwords to his hotmail, facebook, even his work computer. I change them every so often and I know he will blame it on her and eventually it will push her into the hospital. I even called social services and told them that she was unfit as a parent I don’t know if they actually went there or not but I hope they did. Pretty soon it will all get to her and she will have a nervous breakdown and then he will leave her. I don’t know why he is with her in the first place. she has too big of a mouth for her own good she shouldn’t be opening it unless someone tells her she can. And she states that she is going to school from home through some home University when really all she does is use that as an excuse to sit at home and do nothing with those brats that she calls her kids.
changing his passwords?
not cool.
“turning your best friend against her”
Sounds like you have your own mental health issues.
This post sounds like a middle schooler wrote it.
I can confirm that this situation is universal. It’s simple jealousy if u ask me and I’m not ashamed to admit it (online, hiding behind my screen and keyboard, in total anonimity,mind you LOLz)
I have been married for 30 yrs and both my husband and myself have been friends with Mark for longer. He waited a long time to marry and about 5 years ago he married a psyho b-itch that knowone likes and she doesn’t like anyone. Not his family or his friends. But, yeah he allows it. so it’s his life and we all have had to give it up. We never see him anymore except for old mutual friends situations and he is a shell of himself. We all think he knows he made a mistake but he is a stubborn religious baptist and would never admit he made a mistake.
This is so interesting. I have a best friend that I’ve known for three years who’s about 3 years older than i am. He graduated college about two years ago and when the question of marrriage came up to his girlfriend, he said that he was happy where he was and needed to save money and honestly grow a little. ( I mean, he just graduated college, right?) so any way, whats her face is about to graduate and I meet her for the first time and she just gives me that bad vibe. She’s Really immature and they’ve been dating since her sophomore year of high school. She straight up says, i’ve never had a chance to meet anyone else. So anyway, being young like she is, she messes around with one of my friends, (behind her boyfriends back) as soon as he leaves, BOOM they’re engaged and about to get married. Idk I don’t want to call her a bitch, and I have TRIED SOO hard to be friends with her for my best friend’s sake, but she is such a miserable and immature person. I just don’t think that they should get married soo young, and I honestly think he could do so much better.
Same here. His family tried to get me to convince him not to marry her. He was so hurt by them trying to do that, that I decided I would support him. I was his bestman at the wedding and even tried to smooth over the gap between the two families, who wouldn’t even sit on the same sides of the room. I’ve always been great friends with that family and now they see me as a traitor. To top it off I almost never see him, because I can’t stand to be around his wife. And I can’t ask him over and say, “Oh, but don’t bring your wife with you.” I wish I would have helped his family.
I HATE my friends fat **** wife. she is a big mouth gossip loser. facebook and myspace obsessed like a teenager loser. just got pregnant to hide how fat she really is. people thought she was pregnant before she actually was. this IS NOT jealousy in any way. she is rude, ignorant, loud, controlling and unintelligent trash. everyione cant stand her. the friendship has suffered and everyone knows he made the biggest mistake. love IS blind whoever said that before is right. just gotta move on because it is not worth your time wasting it on negaive people.
my friend is about to marry a bitch. she manipulated him into marriage, even though he didn’t want too and is about to give up his dreams, for a negative, energy draining, religious control freak.
he is such a wonderful guy, sweet, so intelligent but he is getting ‘i am getting old’ – she is 21, he is 32 and his life is still beholding so much more, she will take it all away from him, i know it. my cool friend wil become my boring friend, just as soon as christian control freak is pregnant.
MY best friend – who I have a long shared history with and is the only guy friend who I feel like I can talk with on a deep level – just got married in a whirldwind Vegas wedding he didn’t even tell me about. His new wife seems vapid, dumber than a box or rocks, bitchy, demanding. She is also extremely possessive… she doesn’t want to spend 95% percent of the time with him, she demands 100% of his time…and there is an intense guilt trip and freak out if he is 5 minutes late, or looks at another woman to ask the time of day. She has no hobbies except watching reality TV – and if you aren’t up on the latest characters, there is nothing to talk about. She is now trying to get pregnant to she can rope him in forever.
My friend is — on many levels – a highly intelligent guy – but I guess his values are screwed up. Marriage in an unconscious agreement to accept each other’s shadow projections and live them out… and learn things the hard way!
My best freind and I have been the closest of buddies, helped him many times along the way with cash, jobs and all sorts. Was “decent” with his wife until the b**** decided that she is jealous of our friendship, started turning him against me and accusing me of trying to destrioy their lie of a marriage – I on the other hand actually helped the witch stay married by persuading my best friend not to cheat on her (he stopped) and look after his family instead.
She subsequently got what she aimed for – him all to her self, we have mostly parted way, aside from few casual meets at parties and gatherings.
I still feel a great void, I know he does to, but so many bridges were burned that its impossible to lick all the wounds away.
There was once the four of us guys, going through college together and planning our futures, and we are all full of potential with great career aspirations. Eventually, as does happen, the four of us end up at different ends of the country, but stay in touch.
Gary had met Kelly whilst on a summer job during college. He was 22, and she’s 17. We never got to meet Kelly back then, but we got hints from Gary that she was from a rich family, and it quickly became clear that she was a spoilt brat, who only happened to be working alongside Gary as her father had made her go out and understand the value of a dollar.
The rest of us meet girls and progress over the next 5 years. I get married, Dean meets “the one” but loses her due to international commitments, and Jim settles down with a girl in his new hometown. Meanwhile, Gary sits at home and plays the devoted boyfriend whilst Kelly goes off to her prestigious college (and gets up to god-knows-what). 3 years pass by, and Kelly comes home.
Sufficed to say, we never see Gary again. They immediately buy a house together, he proposes to her, and the wedding is now weeks away.
All of this is fairly standard stuff, other than the fact that Gary is a shadow of his former self, going from a guy with real prospects (considering being a lecturer, journalist…), to settling for a warehouse job near home, whilst Kelly settles into a bullshit, high-salary career in the city. She works late, and does drinks with her colleagues in the city, eventually heads home, and Gary cooks and cleans and waits at home for her. He doesn’t go out, nobody sees him, and when you ask him out for some guy time, he’s never available. Ridiculous fact: he wasn’t allowed to play video games in her presence until this last year, and should you ever try and get the two of them involved in a party, Kelly sits there in the corner with her arms folded.
We’ve just getting to grips with Gary’s bachelor party now. Jim has been picked as best man, and Kelly has emailled him demanding a full rundown of the party, specifically banning Gary from going into town and having a drink. I heard last night that Kelly has turned it into a family meal now, of all things.
And Gary sits in the corner, nodding along with it all and acting like he’s supportive of it all.
So yeah, I’m familiar with the concept of hating a friend’s wife. Dean and I constantly wax lyrical about how we should have stepped in earlier. 5 years back, when we were all at home in the same town, should one of us do something crazy – for example, I dated a weird girl – the guys would step in, and we would take heed and trust each other’s opinions.
Now, with mortgages and weddings on the line, telling Gary he’s literally signing his life away just isn’t…practical. In the movies, you can run away at the altar. When does that really work in real life, especially with the kind of gutless guy Gary has been turned into.
My plan is like some of the other people in here. Bite my tongue for the next few weeks, sit through one of the most ridiculous charades of a wedding I’ll likely ever witness, and then cut off all ties.
I have contemplated writing to Gary, and getting my feelings down on paper, but i have to ask myself why bother? He was a friend, but that friend was crushed by Kelly, along with all of his dreams.
Good luck to the both of them.
To all u female friends of the guy…his wife is most important to him not u…his wife is now his best friend…so back off nd get ur own life. If he made a mistake by marrying the wrong person he will learn from it himself. Just leave them alone…he sees sumthing in her that u cant…so just let him go.