7 Responses to “ “i hate her”

1. stranger says:

   June 17, 2009 at 5:23 pm

   Dear stranger,

   My first 25 years of life, with some exceptions, had been full of crap and pertinent problems that I had no much control over. From home violence to war, poverty, famine and freezing – just name it – I’ve been through it all. Another 5 years I made miserable myself by falling in love with a wrong person and loosing my boundaries completely. I’ve always loved life, despite everything, although I was so tired of crap while dating that guy that I simply wished not to have to wake up next day. I would never harm myself because I hate physical pain and discomfort (and because I love my mother and sister more than anything in the world), but sometimes it was really so hard to deal with everything. I was lonely, scared for him, heart broken, I felt I can’t go on etc…. Things that bothered me I could not sincerely share with anyone at that time and I could not see any solution to it. It was such an overwhelming miserable state of heart and mind that I still get shivers just even when I think about it …… So, if you have ever felt like that – I hear you. But I also know there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and a whole new life and a whole new world that we can build once we decide that we had enough of crap. As a curious person, In search of better understanding I read a number of books and theories on human behavior and emotional processes. Then, one day, I stumbled across a very simple book called Tears & Healing that made me realize I can’t solve pain problems with logic. I applied a simple learning from that book and focused on things that would bring me in tears. This was a whole new interesting process of self-discovery. I came to experience that all our problems in life occur when we act or are forced to act against our personal values and beliefs, whatever they are. Physical abuse is probably the most obvious case of boundary violation. But emotional, spiritual and mental abuse are often not so transparent. If integrity is what a person values, any kind of boundary disrespect will cause us pain because it threatens ur core values, things that makes us who we are. When there is a gap between the two – personal values and actions – there will be some sort of tension and uneasiness until the things are clarified and boundaries / power positions re-established.

   It takes tons of hope and persistence to change things around. Never give up. Keep moving forward and you’ll see a whole new spectrum of fun and exciting opportunities. My first step was to pay attention to see the pain in the light of values/beliefs/boundaries and understand what is it that hurts. Then, with bits and pieces of clues, I basically started bringing some structure into life. Things then progressed rapidly and started to unfold, like a mosaic, in front of me. Such a liberation! A huge burden dropped off my chest. Every day was elevating and easier. I’d get challenged, once in a while, to act/think old way, but the new liberating feeling was so enticing and helped me keep going. Life is so simple and easy – arriving to that point can be sometimes expensive.And not everybody gets the same price discount :)

   I’m guessing that you are a young person. My wish for you is to have at least one amazing experience every day :)

   I am a total stranger, but I care that you and your friend are good. Your friend was no brave in a way that you should be envious about. You love her, but you build a veil of lies about your life. She does not know what your real life looks like. She might have some secrets too. But the bottom line is that you two genuinely care about each other. Or not? So instead of probably very painful suicides, discomfortable but honest conversation might be an easier approach. :) When it is difficult to talk, a paper and pencil might help. I mean, sitting next to each other, but using paper and pencil instead of talking. You might be at the crossroad: Maintain an illusive image without genuine conection or build a true connection at the price of less glamurous image. Things we don’t do today come back to us until we do them the right way.

   I care and I’ll keep my figers crossed for you. Cheers!

   Reply
2. Amethyst says:

   June 23, 2009 at 11:58 am

   Don’t hate her for that.
   As a friend, you should be supporting her.
   You also shouldn’t want to commit suicide.
   So many people in the world don’t even has houses! Look at you! You at least even have a computer! Or access..
   Either way, you’re luckier than so many people in the world. You should be grateful.
   Listen… I do hope that you rethink your way of thinking. Be more optimistic.
   i hope you don’t end up commiting suicide.

   Reply
3. Jessica says:

   June 30, 2009 at 5:43 pm

   Please stay alive,

   Reply
4. oooops!! says:

   July 3, 2009 at 11:37 am

   bullshit!!! ur not really suicidal!! people who are dont brag bout it everywere! i think u just want the attention from us and u want us to feel sory for u!
   and people who commit suicide are sooo selfish coz they never think about their friends and family who will be devastaded and will blame themselves.
   people who commit suicide want everyone to feel guilty for them!! its not cool!!

   Reply
5. geir says:

   July 6, 2009 at 5:44 am

   life is an incredible gift. You have the ability to take it, but you don’t have the right. Take on an attitude of thankfulness and humility that you are here. Enjoy all the gifts you have been given and endure hardship patiently. Storms come and go, but being alive is still a thousand times better than being dead. Suicide is a coward’s permanent solution to a temporary problem.
   In the Lord’s presence is an abundance of joy. I have experienced this ,and it is by far the richest experience of my life. He is a gentleman ,so he has to be invited into your life. Don’t be afraid to ask.

   Reply
6. Anon says:

   September 29, 2009 at 3:42 am

   People who whine about wanting to commit suicide are liars, and attention whores. Get over it. Quite crying about life. Everybody has shit to deal with, and I guarantee a good many people have dealt with worse than you can imagine. Quit being a bitch. People who truly do commit suicide, the world is a better place without them anyway.

   Reply
7. kitti_kat says:

   October 11, 2009 at 9:19 pm

   Way to be envious of your friend trying to kill herself. Yeah, don’t be supportive of her and tell her that life is better than that… Be envious.

   Selfish prat.

   Reply