Betrayal Still Hurts

I was betrayed a few years ago by someone who used to be my best friend. She went down a dark path, and started blaming me for things I couldn’t help or weren’t my fault. Then she told other friends of mine lies about me so they turned their back on me without hearing my side.

So quickly, I had gone from having so many friends to nearly none. But one mutual friend, she couldn’t take from me. But they are still somehow friends. I wonder how they don’t see the truth… how they don’t see just what that person is and what they did to me. And I’m afraid that they’ll eventually be betrayed and hurt too.

What makes it worse is I have nightmares about her and the other friends I lost nearly every night, even though it’s been years. Sometimes in those dreams, I try to kill the one who betrayed me. And those are the best dreams. Because in it, I’d finally have justice for everything she took from me.

I want to kill her so badly. I want to make her hurt like me. But if my one friend left lost her, she’d be heartbroken.

Yet waiting around for that person to do the heartbreaking herself… it’s killing me instead.

2 thoughts on “Betrayal Still Hurts

  1. Dear Friend,
    I am now in the position of you.My heart aches every single time I see her,talking to my friends like nothing happened.It all happened in a second : All my friends leaving me.This hurts,you know.Everyone going away,leaving you to deal with you problems alone.I have spent many sleepless nights thinking about what I have done wrong.But you and I both need to remember one thing : What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.Take care and live a happy life.They are just a piece of dust,a passerby in your life.
    Hugs and kisses,

  2. Dear Friend,
    Betrayal by your friends certainly hurts and I am sorry to read of this. It sounds however that you are still mired in the hurt of losing friends. Why not try a different tact? Forgive the main friend who betrayed you, truly forgive her for not being worthy of your friendship. Then forgive all of the other people whom you thought were friends who listened to her. After you’re done, you will likely be released of the need for revenge and will again be open to making new and better friends with sincere people. If this continues to bother you after all of this is done, please seek therapy. Take care now.

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