you took everything

not only did you take everything away from me and turned by life into a nightmare by raping me, but you gave me AIDS. i can never make love to my husband again, i can never have a happy healthy baby, i can never live out my dreams because you took them awy from me.

9 thoughts on “you took everything

  1. hey. i know how awful you must feel. My most recent ex boyfriend is HIV positive and his meds are keeping his viral load at the ‘undetectable’ status. This means he can’t spread it. He takes Atripla. Also, almost no one who takes the right medication dies from AIDS anymore. That was in the beginning before all the medical breakthroughs.
    I just don’t want you to go thinking that all your dreams are ruined because of what this ASSHOLE did to you. He should burn…i mean really f*#cking burn for what he did to you. Screw Christian forgiveness.
    anyway I know a lot of gay men who are positive, being a gay man myself.
    none of them are suffering anymore from their HIV status.
    About having a baby…I don’t know much more about that than to say that being positive does not guarantee that your child will be.
    None of this is your fault and our advance medical treatment for HIV will prevent your dreams from being taken away.
    Have hope.
    You are not alone and you are not destroyed.

  2. I am truly sorry. Nothing can give you your life back or take away this terrible tragedy. But your life is not over yet. Living with AIDS is not easy, but you cannot give up! I hope that once your anger and depression and fear ebbs a little, you realize that you can still live a full life, a life worth living.

    I hope that you know that you are deserving of love. I hope that you are not consumed by regret, unforgiveness, and a sense of injustice. I hope that you can still have a family and make love…because you can. It may be more difficult, but it is possible.

    I hope that if you haven’t already, that you visit your local AIDS Center. Find people who can support you, counsel you, inform you. You are not alone. Your life will be harder in ways you never expected and never deserved, but there are so many people out there living with this disease who can help you and inspire you.

    I hope that you have sought out treatment, that you are remembering how important it is to stay healthy and take care of yourself. You are not a piranha, you are not poisonous, you are not dirty, you did not deserve this. You are beautiful and strong and worthy of a fulfilling life. Living with AIDS does not mean you have to sacrifice your dreams.

    My friend’s husband cheated on her and gave her HIV. There were many nights someone had to hold her as her life fell apart and remind her how much she still had to live for. She struggled to build a new life, a new identity. And it was never easy. She now helps people like you, and it has given her an even greater sense of purpose than she had even before her life changed. She has turned this tragedy into her life’s purpose. Yes, she still has her bad days. She still gets frightened sometimes when she has a check up, wondering if her viral load is up or her T cell count is down. There are those who are uncomfortable around her. She has lost friends who could not deal with the fact that she has HIV. She wants to have children and wonders how she will make that dream come true. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows. But she has found someone who loves her and is committed to her. And she has saved many lives by being a shoulder to cry on, a voice on the other end of the phone in the middle of the night, talking her out of ending her life because she couldn’t see that her life wasn’t over yet.

    I don’t know you, but I love you. I wish I could hold you and tell you that you can do this.

    May the love of God be with you always.

    -S

  3. You are allowed to be angry. And sad. I wish there was some way I could help.

    Prosecute that MF to the fullest extend and sue his sorry ass for everything he’s worth and then some.

  4. Oh… I really… don’t know what to say. I share Saved’s sentiments. Wow… I sincerely hope that at least some small, good thing can find it’s way into your life. No one deserves so much pain.

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