Why am I so scared?
Posted by Anonymous in Fear on Jun 11th, 2010 | 1 commentI want to tell him when I do it, but I can’t. I’m so scared that he will stop loving me if I don’t start getting better soon. He has even told me not to feel defeated when I give in, but to just keep trying to beat it. He is so supportive, and tries so hard.
And I can’t bring myself to talk to my father about him. I don’t understand why I should be so afraid of speaking about the most amazing, patient, kind person I have ever met with my father. I hate it.
I’m also afraid I’m never going to beat this. The stupid eating disorder that I can’t figure out if I do it because I know I am harming myself, or if it is a control thing or what, and I’m afraid that I can’t be worth anything to anybody because I’m still worth nothing to myself.
One Response to “ “Why am I so scared?”
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If he’s said and done all of that to/for you, he will stand by you, whatever happens.
As for your father; I’m assuming you’re on the younger side of the equation? There are a lot of variables that come into play when it comes to speaking about such things with parents about this. There’s no magic bullet, so all you can do is set your fears aside and go with the simple truth. If you truly believe in what you feel and say, it’s HIS problem if he can’t accept it.
Eating disorders are a tricky thing. Probably best if you seek professional help. Don’t be afraid. These people have nothing to gain from making you feel bad. They are there to help you work through issues that you may not feel comfortable talking about to people closer to you.