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Posted by cleo in Fear on Jan 3rd, 2011 | 12 commentsI have been pondering my current situation. And so far this is what I have down, I’m pretty much A BIG FAT LOSER!!! I’ve wasted a lot of my time, which I should have treated as valuable because it is. Here’s the scoop I’m 25yrs old no high school education and no drivers license. I have very little job experience. I live with my parents and I have no job. I’m on unemployment, food stamps and I just recently found out that I’m pregnant by my boyfriend who isn’t employed either. Needless to say I have a lot of ground to cover and I haven’t put in much work. I feel dumb and dumber every day. I can’t focus on anything for too long it’s so irritating because I want to finish what I start but I can’t. I feel so hopeless at times and other moments I feel as I can accomplish anything if I put in the work. As far as the baby goes I feel like I have no other choice but to abort it, I feel I wouldn’t be able to give this child what it needs and I’m in no position to imagine that I could even possibly be a good mother. I have already decided what I’m going to do and I’m not looking for advice. But what I am looking for is different point of views, I feel it’s always good to see a situation with a fresh pair of eyes weather the response be a negative or a positive one.
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You’re not dumb if you can realize you’re in an unfortunante position. In regards to aborting your pregnancy, the choice is yours. In truth, you really can’t give your baby what it needs. Children need stable homes, parents, and financial incomes in order to flourish. It doesn’t appear that you can give your child any of this at the time. I believe that everyone has a choice, and if aborting your pregnancy is the right one for you then so be it. Just know, you’ll always live with the knowledge that you terminated a fetus. That’s a pretty heavy thought. There is always adoption. I’m plenty sure you can find parents that will provide your baby with everything he or she needs. In addition, there are so many more open adoptions if you wanted to stay in contact. But before you make any decisions, you should talk this over with your boyfriend – he is the father.
I hope this whole experience is a wake-up call for you. Life doesn’t come easy. If you want to do well, you have to put in the work. It’s as simple and complicated as that.
Dear Cleo, I’ve been on both spectrum’s, very wealthy (self-made) and now currently, bankrupt and broke. I’ve also been diagnosed with some very serious mental health issues. My best advice to you is to take advantage of what you do have and what is available to you. Continue to use county assistance in the meantime but use it to BETTER yourself, if there is Workforce in your area, they may have programs available to you.. Maybe a grant is available to you to go to school? Whatever is available to you, use it!! Call your county worker, search online, figure out what you can do next, what you can do to have something to look forward to. Volunteer, do something to make yourself feel good about YOU!
What you do with the baby is a whole other issue but I have known women who have had abortions and it’s affected them negatively their whole lives. Take small steps to ultimately lead you to what you need to do. I’m assuming you have free medical care, a therapist can help you with your procrastination problems and any issues that come up in your life. Good luck
^ DO IT!!!!!!!!!
I am not one to judge on abortions. But I do feel, it should not be used as a form of birth control, so if you do this. Make a promise to this baby that you will better yourself. Go to school, get a job etc. So when you are faced with this situations again, you will be able to raise the next baby.
Abortion is what selfish people do. Okay, so you’re a loser – we get that, but why don’t you give your child a chance to make it by giving him/her up for adoption.
Also, you seem to accomplish nothing. Why don’t you make a list of things that you want to accomplish in order and one by one start to accomplish them. So what if item #1 takes 6 months to attain. You’d still be further ahead than doing what you’re doing now.
Whats stopping you to do all those things? Get an education? driving license and a job?
Nothing.
This is what you want – just get it.
And don’t blame your pregnancy for not doing it! but just do.
Just do it.
Its that dead easy.
agreed.
what is stopping you from doing something with your life?
you can use a computer and type and read and write.
get a job
im 21 years old and have 3 girls under 3 years old… I married at age 17. I dropped out of school at age 14. If I can do It I promise you, you can do it, be realistic with yourself about time frames… things dont happen over night (though i wish it would) dont be afraid to face your fears… things happen for a reason. you just dont know it yet…
Kittycat and C gave you some pretty good advice concerning abortion so I’ll just say that I agree with them on that issue.
Nevertheless, the first thing that you REALLY need to do RIGHT NOW is to start working on getting your friggin’ drivers license! At your age you can never feel good about yourself as long as you’re cooped up in the house all day. Don’t expect opportunity to to just come knocking at your door because it never does. You have to go out and get what you want and that’s only possible if you can actually drive a car.
You can’t call yourself a loser if you’ve never given yourself a chance to be independent and to go out in the world.
My advice? Just get your friggin’ drivers license ASAP and then get out of the house. Just drive yourself to the mall and buy yourself an ice cream cone; and while you’re there you might also try filling out a few job applications.
Just start with that much and I guarantee that you’ll begin to see your life improve in ways that you never would have imagined. Good luck!
You are the only one stopping you from doing what you need to do. With that said, I am very similiar to you. I know I am the only one who is stopping my self from doing the things I want and need to do.
I am lucky that I found a guy who has a great job and can support me and his children.
Our first child is actually not ours. I had him from a previouse boyfriend who I thought I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I am so glad I chose not to stay with him. He has now been unemployed for 4 years and living with his mother. He is 27 years old.
Anyways, I am encredibly unmotivated and have a very hard time doing what I need to do. If it wasnt for the man I am with today, I would be stuck working at the same fast food resturaunt and living off of my parents kitchen and food stamps.
anyways. Kind of went off subject a little.
I say keep the baby, you have 9 months to start getting your shit together!
If you love this child you will have no problem giving it everything it needs.
oh, and if you boyfriend is a loser! dont include him in the decision of what you are going to do. Posibly leave him and raise the baby on your own. I know I am so very grateful I did not stay with the loser of a man I was with
Your baby is the only thing that would motivate you enough to accomplish those things. You will only add to the pain you are going through, if you have an abortion you may be ok right now, but later in life the hurt will come out and you will have to deal with it.
i love you … cheer up and if fast food places wont hire you its because they wont cheep kids to work for them and if you cant
get a driving licenses its because they made it super hard so they mack more money youer cool becos you wont to see haw to have a nice life
ps i wont to see a world full of real happy ppl LIVE ON ps again i love spel chek