losing faith
Posted by sadeyes in Fear on Jan 11th, 2009 | 7 commentsmy mother is dying they have given her 1 year or less. i am grown adult but i feel like a scared little child, my heart breaks everyday at the thought of losing her. i know everyone will die but to be given a time frame is just harsh. i want to believe a miracle will happen but the truth is its a very rare diease and i know there are no other options for her. i can’t stop dwelling on this even though i should be enjoying the little time i have with her i can’t because i wonder what if this is the last time? i feel selfish for feeling this way because she doesn’t complain just accepts whats going to happen and goes on. if i could have one wish it would be to just be able to go to the mall with my mom like we used to do before she got so sick and just talk and walk around drooling over everything we couldn’t get. if you pray please pray for my mother. i love you mom always and forever.
7 Responses to “ “losing faith”
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Spend as much time as you can, talking to your mom. Talk about the old days, and try to laugh and joke. Talk about when you were a little girl, and ask her to tell you about what her life was when she was young. Take pictures and voice record what she tells you. The time that you two have left is sacred, and you need to spend it reflected with as much joy and memory building as you can. Use other people in your life to cry and grieve, and share your pain with them. Find a therapist or clergyperson to help you cope. Losing your mother will be very hard, but you can bring the gifts of beauty and honor to your lives. You owe that to her and to yourself.
I will pray for her.
Knowing she will not be here a year from now is by far the hardest thing to except. However, you have a chance to make the very best of it while she is here. I would record her telling you her life long story, starting with when she was just a little girl, all the things she did weather bad or good, funny or sad then moving on to the day she met your dad and out came you and all the way to today. The best part of this will be that you will always be able to play it back and listen to her voice on the recording. It will comfort you when she is gone. We did it with my grandma and it was the best idea we ever did. I play it all the time….. Best of luck!
This is one of the hardest parts of the human experience. it is not something to take lightly and you should feel no shame in your emotions.
have you ever read “A Grief Observed” ?
It is a book written by a man who watched his wife die and how he worked through that pain.
The only way to be comforted by this is to both know where you’re going after you die. God offers us so many wonderful promises while here on earth but what could be better than knowing one day you will be together. Before she goes, she needs to accept Christ’s forgiveness and you too!…if you haven’t already. Only He can give you the peace you need.
I understand your fear. I lost my Mom in 2004 to Cancer. But, honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted her here feeling sick, tired, & always at the doctor or hospital. I miss her more then words can possibly express, but I’m so happy she’s in a better place, looking down on me. I will pray for her and I will pray for you. It will be okay.
I lost my mother and father at 21 (only 3 short years ago), only a few months apart. I can tell you that the best decision I have ever made was staying and taking care of my mother as she died a horrible painful cancer death. I was so angry and felt so selfish for not wanting to do it (we didn’t have the best relationship), but I did it anyway. Two days before she died I told her that I loved her (I hadn’t said that in 5 years) and that I was sorry for all of the selfish childish things I had done. She forgave me and I cried all night feeling unworthy of her forgiveness.
Cherish the time you have. Spend it as happily as possible, no matter how terrible her death is you will remember it. Add good memories to the bad. Believe it or not, it helps.