I can never come out
Posted by Anonymous in Fear on Jun 2nd, 2010 | 14 commentsI am gay and I know I will never have the courage to come out. It’s not that I don’t think my family would support me – I just can’t live with the shame. It’s still so socially unacceptable and I know that as soon as people found out they would look at me completely differently. Everyone has a preconception of lesbians being ‘butch looking’ women but I am not like this AT ALL nor would I be attracted to a woman like this. I don’t want to be associated with being this way and am scared that I am going to live my whole life never being free. Sometimes I think I should be strong because I am merely trapped by stereotypes and social expectations and it is sad to live my whole life encaged by them. I just can’t find the will to ever tell anyone and I feel so alone. I don’t have any friends who I would trust to talk to – I would always be scared that we might have an argument and they would threaten to tell my secret. I’ve known I was gay since I was 17 and am now in my early 20’s. I’m just fed up with it, I don’t know why I had to be one of the few born this way but I hate it and would do anything to change it.
14 Responses to “ “I can never come out”
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Why bother telling people you’re gay? When you decide to be normal everyone will think you’re stupid if you come out. You decided to be gay so don’t cry online about how ashamed you are. You should be.
You’re right – it’s probably because i’ve seen the amount of hate that exists in society and even more so online when people can hide behind computers. Thanks for confirming how harsh life would be, i’m better just hiding away.
You shouldn’t hide away because there will be people who look down on you. You don’t need to share who you are with every person walking down the street but trusting the people you love enough to share your secret with will be very healing for you. I’m sorry that while trying to share your secret crule people will discourage you online and off. There will always be love and support for you and understanding from good people.
never hide who you are. You are hurting yourslef by doing that who gives a crap if they dont like you cause your gay im not gay and i love people who are gay. And think bout how much life ur missing from hiding this. And if your friends wont accept that who gives a crap find better friends who will. come on no one should have to live in secrecy this is the 21st century. And yes there are homophobic freaks out there and they will call you names but im black and i was just called the n word the other day instead of feeling hurt and mopey and depressed i have to tell myself out of all the people there are in this world i will NOT let a group of dicks affect who i am as a person.
Why don’t you move to WeHo or somewhere where this is all socially acceptable maybe that would help. and ignore those mean weirdos above are just bible bangers yes thats right I said bangers cause it is violent how those people use their “morality”
Why do you even need to come out? Just find the one person that you need to be with — and guess what? When your friends find out about it they’ll be happy for you! Give it a try! You’ll see…
for one thing: statistically, one in ten people are gay. you should go to a lesbian bar and look around. not all lesbian women are butch. you should also get out and meet other lesbians of all ages and be PROUD gay people have come a long way in a short amount of time. they’ve made long strides in making it more acceptable than ever.
love and embrace who you are, find some good, gay role models, maybe date a little when you’re ready and eventually you’ll find a partner. would you prefer to ‘pretend?’ that’s what i did and it doesn’t make it any easier to be middle age, divorced with kids and then coming out. i wish i had come out when i was young but my family was very closed minded and abusive and NEVER would have never accepted me. thank God that you will have a support system, not everyone is that lucky
Thank you all, your comments have been really helpful :)
Dont sweat it honey. Your sexuality is your own personal business and no body elses!!! Alot of the above postings are really good advice. Start to feel better about yourself. Work on yourself. Your right when you tell people they do treat you differently, I had so called “friends” who were open but when I told the abut me, theyre whole attitude changed toward me. Well **** them cause they lost the best friend they ever had. Take care of yourself!!! and dont worry about any one else.
Dont let the phrase “coming out” put pressure on you….save that for Lifetime television and the movies and rag magazines.
Im the same way. i kno where ur coming from n i kno how u feel! its really hard some times u just havfe to keep it to urs self till u find the right person to be with
I wish I could talk to you because I feel like the only one in the world with this problem. It’s good to hear someone else is in the same situation! I hope you pull through.
It is silly that gay people have to “come out.” Imagine if it were the reverse….. “Mom, I am straight.”
I believe that we are getting closer and closer to a more just society. Prop. 8 was overturned in California recently, and there are lots of people fighting for equality.
With equality, acceptance does not come right away. There will always be those struggling with hate (or fear) inside of themselves. I believe that people who are homophobic are suffering, because hate is a destructive emotion.
Finding a supportive community of other gays and allies might be the best thing for your right now.
Ever been to a Pride Parade? Super fun! The community celebrates!
There are lots of wonderful things going on in the world.
Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are, there are alot more people like you then you think. The only people who will look down on you are ignorant twats, and radical religious people. Good luck :)