Can’t have children…
Posted by Jess in Fear on Apr 30th, 2010 | 17 commentsI got married at 19…I am 30 now. i never got pregnant with my husband or in my past (been sexually active since 14). I am 30 now. I think that i’m “screwed” and never be able get pregnant. Is it normal to be sexually acitve since 14; only use condoms periodically; usually use a “pull out method” in the past – not to have ever been pregnant? For the last few years we are sexually active w no protection and still nothing. My family and friends keep having kids and talking about me having them, especialy since I been married so long. Is it normal to NEVER even accidently been pregnant nor purposefully? I feel like there has to be something wrong with me that SO MANY PEOPLE can ACCIDENTLY get pregnant and I can’t even when I’m trying. But I don’t want to admit that I am trying witout success. I went to my gyno and things seem fine for me…but I’m hiding from everyone in my life that we ARE trying. My parents, friends, family. They all think I just don’t want them or arent trying. But I am. And it just dosent seem to be happening for me…
17 Responses to “ “Can’t have children…”
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at 30 I’d say its time to quit trying anyway, at the age it would be a pain in the ass raising them, just play with your freinds kids and be glad you never had any.
There are woman who go many years without getting pregnant and eventually do. The best thing you did is go to the doctor. If they say you are fertile, then maybe it is not you and it may be your husband that is not fertile. It can be either one of you with a problem if there is one. And don’t worry about who has children, cause the more you think about it the more you won’t get pregnant. I have seen many cases including myself (took 10 years), that finally got pregnant after they just stopped trying. Don’t give up hope as you are still young. Don’t listen to the post above. Apparently, they don’t have kids so they don’t know the joy that kids bring a woman, which leads me to believe it is a man that posted the above comment. Men do not understand what having children means to woman and they don’t care to understand. Anyway, the point is don’t lose hope, take necessary steps to determine if there is a problem, and don’t ever give up on the idea of adoption if that is the only option you have. There are a lot of woman who get pregnant by “accident” as you say and don’t want or can’t take care of the baby and therefore needs someone like you who is ready for a baby! I wish you luck and hopefully you will have your baby soon.
I am 32 years old and have the same problem too,i had miscarriage in 2000 since then i tried and still cant conceive. I have 2years in marriage and my husband is always complaining. i did all the tests everything is fine except one right tube which they said is blocked,the doctor prescribed staminigro which i took for 4 months but nothing happened.
If you’re serious about wanting to have children you need to see a fertility specialist. Many couples have “unexplained fertility” but, are able to have a child with the help of fertility drugs and treatment. Just because it isn’t happening naturally doesn’t mean it can’t happen at all.
Go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I was also struggling to have a child. Turned out I had infertility and had to get help. I had one son at 32 and the second at 34. You can easily have a child at 30 or older if you want. Infertility is no longer a dirty little secret.
just talk to your doctor and come up with a plan … and dont listen to mac he is an idiot. i have one child whom will be four in july and i have another one on the way as we speak. he will arive in late aug. i am currently 30 right now. i also have a girlfriend whom recently got married and is pregnant and she is 43. keep it up and talk to your doctor. and dont be embarrassed. it happens. one of my other girlfriend had to see a fertility doc once and that was it then her second one came natural.
Thank you everyone (lol even Mac). I will always hope. I just needed to get it out that I DO want kids and I WILL keep trying. Fertility specialists or adoption either way I know it will happen for me. I’ll give it more time (tying not to STRESS) and than see what happens. I appreciate all your comments.
the only thing you can do is belive in GOD….just talk to him with all your heart and belive that he is qoin to give you one…! the same thing is happend to me and i kwno how u feel:(
but we have to have FAITH!!!
I want to tell you my story, not to make you sad, but to give you hope and not to give up. At age 30, I lost my 9 year old little boy. Losing him is the greatest pain I have ever experienced. As time when on, I was able to live with the pain of losing him with God’s help and go on with my life. I started thinking of having another child, but I didn’t want to have a child if I was over 40. Well 40 came and went. Over 40, being very sad I did not have the child or children I desperately wanted. Being very lonely and talking with God, I realized there were many many women in this world, who wanted children and never had them. Here I was a woman who was blessed to have been pregnant, carry a healthy child, full term. Yes, I lost him, but I had 9 beautiful years with him. I became satisfied with what I did have and thanked God for what he gave me. I became ok with my life. I did not let not having anymore children hurt me again. Guess what, at 43, I became pregnant and had a beautiful healthy baby boy at age 44. My son is 13 now, yes, he looks more like my grandson than son, but he is my gift from God. Don’t give up on having a child, just don’t let it consume you or be a source of unhappiness for you. Be grateful for your life and all things God has for you.
I know exactly how you feel, I am struggling with infertility at 22, My husband and I have been married for 2 years and I have been trying to get pregnant basically since our wedding night… I see all my friends having kids and it makes me so depressed, but when anyone asks me why havent I had kids yet I just say, were waiting until we save more money, until we purchase a house, basically any lie I can make up to get them off my back. I have so much to offer a child, so much love to give. I just cant wait for it to be my turn. So yes I feel your pain and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers never give up hope
im going through the same thing. Ive been trying for a baby for quite a while now but so far nada. My husband and i have said jokingly that our kids are the cats. Im not done hoping, especially since im so young but who knows what will happen. I can just wait and see.
I am 19 almost 20 yrs old and me and my boyfriend have been sexually active for about 6yrs used birthcontrol for first yr. Then unprotected ever since I didn’t want to have a baby because we were so young but we live together now and now I’ve been thinking to myself wow I wonder why I haven’t got pregnant….. I wouldn’t mind having a baby now but were not planning to have one just yet because we’re still young me being 19 and him 20yrs.. but I would like to know if something is wrong with me or him….I’m planning to make us a doc. Apppointment to check things out just in case something is wrong we can get it fixed and when we are good and ready to have kids we will be all clear in doing so.. I’m just worried I can’t have any, I love kids so much and if I were to find out I couldn’t have any it would just break my heart.
You should tell them that your trying, maybe then they will leave you alone about it, it’s odviously a sensitive issue, and if they are hurting you, you should let them know, so they can help. Good luck. :)
People i have the same problem, but i had miscarriage in 2000 since then i didnt have 1,i got married 2years back and been trying till now i cant get pregnant.i started seeing gyno in 2008 till nw she prescribed me staminogro which im taking for 4 months right im on the second month but not pregnant yet.my husband is not supportive at all he tells me that he is fertile iam not. the doc realise that my right tube is blocked the left one is fine.please help.
if you BOTH want children try all ways but either way in the end both agree or their will be alot of anger and bitterness in the futre and believe me that is probably more sressful hope this helps you and your partner.
It seems like your doctor or another one could help you answer this question about how common accidental pregancy is. You should see a fetility specialist to answer these questions, but in the meantime you need to work on your relationships. At some point if you get pregnant you’re going to tell people, right?
The good news/bad news is that there is a chance that you have been pregnant before very briefly but too briefly for you to notice. Many pregnancies go unnoticed because they end in miscarriage so early on. You may be more fertile than you realize.
I have been married for almost 17 years now. My husband and I tried to have a baby for 12 years. We tried everything…..all fertility treatments that were available to us…..we tried adoption after our fertility treatments did not work. We had two failed adoptions. We have had a very, very hard time dealing with not having children and it has been very painful. But all I can say is believe in God and just know he knows what is best for you. Many times people would tell me just pray and God will provide for you. Unfortunately, this did not happen for me and my husband but I do know that because we were not given a child God must have something else planned for our lives. Sometimes it just does not work out like you hope it will…..but just do not lose faith in God…..God is Good and he will help you through this difficult time.