Worthless

I am worthless and I want to die sometimes. The only thing that keeps me alive are my children and the thought of them growing up without a mommy. Other than that, I am the crap on the bottom of my husband’s shoe. I am transparent to him and all I’m good for is taking care of the kids and a means to an end. He thinks he sacrifices for me to go to school, but he’s not the one taking the kids to daycare, or trying to go to school for the betterment of this family. What sacrifice?!! I serve in the Air National Guard and they have paid my whole way for school. And I don’t have to work because the GI Bill gives us some money. Nothing I do is good enough. He forgets that I am the one who takes off when they are sick or go to school. He looks at me with disdain when I haven’t folded the laundry in months or clean the house. He throws an attitude when he has to do it. He does nothing but oppresses me and it is slowly wearing me thin.

3 thoughts on “Worthless

  1. You’re not worthless. It sounds like your on the right track for you and your kids. You’re being made to feel worthless by a husband who has, what sounds like severe personal issues.
    In the long run divorce is infinitely better than being miserable and suicidal. I know divorce can be very messy and traumatic but, sometimes things get worse before they get better. You stay in school, use the GIBill , love and protect your kids and let him deal with whatever he has going on.
    Easier said than done, I know.

  2. I agree with Waterlily: You are so far from worthless. If nothing else, you’re a parent and a successful one, I’d hazard. That takes much more than I have and many others

    It sounds like you have been ground down by life or (more likely) people. Everyone judges, but few are accurate so if someone is putting you down, they’re wrong. Try to remember your good points and focus on them

    I really hope you can build yourself up. It seems impossible, but it must be possible. I hope so; I have to do it myself

  3. Well for everything that you are doing to be worthless is really the worst word to describe yourself
    Be able to get up and out of this unhealthy environment, respect yourself much more because you deserve a happy life with your children
    Recapture your strength and decide to be happy now! You sound like an amazing person who has the ability to rise above it all! :)
    Trust in you
    Make the step to live with your children a better, healthier life
    Remember that loving yourself would never allow anything or anyone to hurt you
    Take a moment, breath deep and move each day closer to Happiness, you deserve it!
    Yes you do :)

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