Trying to keep my head up
Posted by AnonFem in Family on Sep 12th, 2010 | 12 commentsI have been with my husband for 8 years and married 5, we have been trying to conceive for these 5 years and it’s been a no go, no miscarriages or anything like that just nothing. I’ve quit smoking,started eating healthier and working out i am even seeing a doctor for help. Lately pretty much everyone women i know is pregnant and while it makes me upset i know they aren’t doing it to make me angry but it’s hard not to get down when a girl who sleeps with a guy she just meets gets pregnant and my husband and i who have been ready and wanting this for years cant.
Every day i fall apart a little more inside, i’m trying to be strong and i know i know it will happen when i least expect it but i’m really starting to think that it’s never going to happen. I want nothing more than to be a mother and show my child all the love and care i can possibly muster but it seems it’s not in my cards. I can’t stop crying.
12 Responses to “ “Trying to keep my head up”
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Truth: Look for the vasectomy scar.
My husband hasn’t gotten a vasectomy but thanks for being an *******.
Truth: Wow wannabee Mommy you gonna kiss your maybe someday kid with that mouth? I gave you what help I could give you based on my life experiences and something I have seen happen in real life. I was not trying to be a “*******”. You asked for help I tried to give it. As not to muddy your thread I’ll just end this with wish you all the best and good luck on getting pregnant, you sound like you will be a great Mom.
You really are an idiot, this woman is obviously hurting and you have the audacity to tell her to look for a vasectomy scar? Oh yes pardon the poor lady for calling you an ******* it must be hard to live such a saintly life such as the one you do.
Take a step off of that pedestal you seem to love being on so much and realize that Truth: Look for the vasectomy scar and Truth: Wow wannabee Mommy are just as rude and hurtful as whatever she called you.
Truth: I am not here to hold hands and kiss boo boo’s, I am not a Care Bear, I’m also not a tab of Prozac. I have never nor will I ever care about someones “feelings”. I will how ever always 100% tell the truth with out beating around any bushes or sugar coating anything. Where is this law that I must be the “bigger person”?. I am a jerk, I am rude, I am blunt an “idiot” I am not. I am a “wannabee Daddy” and I know in my life I can never have a child of my own, I know her pain. I told her to to look for a scar because,,,,,never mind, As not to muddy your thread I’ll just end this with wish you all the best and good luck on getting pregnant, you sound like you will be a great Mom.
This is the ‘wanna be mommy’ and i’m responding to Truth Hurts, i’m sorry my comment back to you was so rude i was in a pretty shitty place when i wrote it. I understand that posting in an anonymous board means that i should expect all kinds of responses from different types of people so again I’m sorry for snapping at you and i read the comment you had left for the other person, i am sorry for you pain i really am, it’s a very shitty situation. I really hope that you have a chance in the future to find some kind of happiness with a child of your own.
I know how you feel, with my first child I fell pregnant in 1 month, the second child it took 5 years, the same father so we knew we could have kids. Every month would come and go and still no pregnancy, I would get so depressed and cry. I did all the tests, blood test, ovary tests, but still nothing. Then one day I asked my doctor to put me on anti depressants, he said we will just do a pregnancy test first, then guess what I was pregnant. Please dont give up and if you already havent get all the tests done and you husband.
Maybe you need to start facing that it might just not be in the cards for you and start exploring other means of having a child.. I know it seems unfair but maybe there is a child out there (perhaps an older child) who will be in your life. Good luck, don’t be afraid to look at your life realistically
You need to goto a urologist and have his sperm count done. More often than not is likely thats the case.
I don’t mean to get you pissed off but unfortunately that is what happens.
Good luck
Dear Trying to keep your head up….
I’m a mom of almost 30 years, with 6 children and 4 grandchildren (and #5 on the way). Over my lifetime, I’ve seen it happen over and over that women who so desperately want to have a child just can’t seem to conceive. With no foreseen reason why, it just doesn’t seem to happen.
I’ve given this advice to 5 people in my life and 5 out 5 got pregnant within 2 years. (I hope this makes 6 out of 6!!)
RELAX! Completely change your mind set. Consider other possibilities such as adoption! If you feel that you and your husband could incorporate another persons biological child into your world – that you could love a child with all your heart and soul, even though you didn’t personally carry that child for 9 months – then you should consider that option (of course, that is if you haven’t yet).
Quite often when you take your mind off of having your own child, your body then is less stressed and the block that your body has on it to conceive will be removed and you’ll end up pregnant when you least expect it.
You’d be surprised how many people go to adopt a child and end up conceiving one of their own. Then they’re blessed twice!
If adoption doesn’t sound like a route you’d like to take, then get yourself involved with something that doesn’t involve thinking about having a child.
The point being…to remove the thoughts “I can’t” or “It’s never going to happen”, these thoughts stress you out and when our bodies are stessed they don’t perform the way they should. That’s why changing your mind set will help you to unblock those thoughts and help you to relax. (Taking a cruise or vacation could help you relax too! You know the kind meant for lovers…You, Your Hubby, and lots of romance!). Enjoy your world as a couple right now and until whenever….when the time is right you will conceive your child.
What the mind conceives…the body believes! Smile and Relax!
Jenny
P.S.
I totally agree with Jenny, sounds like totally sound advice to me. Just be sure to love your adopted child as much as your birth child. The world is an unfair place… the stories I could tell you about my own life but we gotta keep on, good luck
Truth:Dear, “Trying to keep my head up” no apology’s needed, everyone has bad days and everyone is different. I hope you understand that I in no way meant to cause you any pain my intention really was one of trying to help. I also understand you thought I was being a jerk and respond as such. I do have a habit of being to direct with my thoughts and most people find it unsettling. Alas, There is no honor in causing a woman pain in any form so for that pain inflicted I would ask for your forgiveness.