Not A Perfect Mother….Just A Perfect Liar And I Hate It! :(
Posted by My Name Should Be Cinderella in Family on Nov 25th, 2010 | 5 commentsFirst off, I have a husband and 4 girls (5,4,2,1) and I live with nasty in-laws who are pack rats and are just plain rude.
I wake up and make homemade breakfast, fast food never touches my families lips.
HONESTLY: All I want to do is sleep and not wake up until I truly feel like it. I hate cooking breakfast. Why doesn’t someone wake up and cook me some breakfast for once?
I am constantly picking things up trying to keep a clean house.
HONESTLY: I get so freaking tired of cleaning up and having everyone else throw S*** on the floor and never pick it up. I am so tired of seeing overflowing trash in the bathroom and kitchen. Tired of seeing filthy clothes in the laundry room.
I get my kids dressed on a daily basis with fresh ponytails.
HONESTLY: I look like crap and all I do is keep everyone else looking good. I am too tired to pull my own self together. Sometimes I don’t even have the time to shower or even brush my teeth.
I homeschool my kids.
HONESTLY: I ordered the best curriculum and I feel like my kids are lacking essential knowledge. I feel like they are dumb. I spend all my time devoted to their well being and they can’t even retain the information I teach them. Totally makes me feel like a failure.
HONESTLY, HONESTLY HONESTLY: I try to pretend like I am the perfect woman, mother,and the kindest person in the world. Deep down inside I am drowning in my own lies.To afraid to just be real and show my flaws. Tired day in and day out and still feel like I haven’t accomplished a d*** thing.
It sucks being a stay at home mom and it sucks to pretend to be so perfect.
LIVING THE PERFECT LIE can make you hate yourself.
5 Responses to “ “Not A Perfect Mother….Just A Perfect Liar And I Hate It! :(”
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Not all abuse is physical, and you sound like you’ve been suffering for a long time. I urge you to seek help…see if there’s an adult abuse helpline in your local phonebook.
-may the way help you find a path to peace-
-pf
I am so sorry :( I only have 1 that’s 3 months, and I hate it. I feel bad, but I miss my old life. I miss my old self!!
I really hope that your kids get their act together and start treating you better, and that you get a break <3
I agree with the above posting. You sound like I would have sounded while I was married (but I was too afraid to speak up) Now, I’m in therapy, divorced and out of the closet, among other things.. It feels pretty d*mn good!
It would probably be a good idea to get your kids in school. They may have social problems if they’re not getting what they need at home.. Then you get a break and it may be healthier for everyone. You should sleep in some days you need it!
Your family can eat fast food once in a while. It’s partly your own perfectionism that’s keeping you stuck in this rut.
Living with your in-laws is probably a situation that you’ll need to eventually get out of
Really? Why do you live with your in-laws? I am not trying to be self-righteous, but you have to help yourself first. You know when you get on an airplane and they tell you if you have a child with you to put on your mask first if the need arises? Its because if you can’t take care of yourself properly, you can’t take care of them properly. Get involved in something for you! Maybe you need a part-time job or to volunteer…just do something to get out of the house. Mothers day out is a two day a week thing…try it! You sound like you know you need to get out of the house, DO IT!!
Like someone said above, sending the kids to school sounds like a good idea but also, one of the things you need to teach them is to take care of themselves. It sounds like they are young but they need to learn to show you respect.