My mom is getting on in age. I fluctuate between petrifying fear of losing her and annoyance at her constant maladies. Not much can be done. Arthritis. Pain in her knees. Pain in her heels. I feel horrible hearing it. Her quality of life is suffering. I tell her to stay with me. It she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t like my husband that much plus there isn’t that much room. Plus as much as she says she hates being alone she also wants her privacy. Her stuff. I can respect that. And at the end of it all I feel like watching her is watching a film of my future.