I’m struggling to make them love me

I don’t care who reads this and in all honesty I don’t want anyone to reply, I just need to vent. We were the picture perfect family until we moved to Del Rio,Tx. I was in the fifth grade and the verbal abuse wasn’t as bad, it was only that I couldn’t be friends with them because they made me look like a ****, sure, I guess a group of straight A nerds could make me appear to be a ****. So I dumped them and stayed friendless until seventh grade. I got new friends and even got one boyfriend. My dad told me that if I didn’t dump my boyfriend he would kick me out and then the only way I could survive would be to sell myself like the little **** I was. I was even called fat by them, it made me eat a little less and made my weight go from 70lbs to 44.5lbs. Things got better as soon as I began joining things they wanted me to do and that would make them look good. Stuff they could brag about and that was when they would tell me that they loved me, words I hadn’t heard since the summer of fifth grade, that’s why I loved school. Because they would tell me that they loved me. Well in eighth grade things began to fall for me again. I was slapped by mom that threw me across to the other side of room, I had a bruise that stayed for three days on my face. My dad also threw a table at me. I was kicked out of my house to sleep in the backyard three times. For getting anything less than an A. This year my mom tried to get me but I went into my room and closed the glass doors and sat below it. She punched a hole in the glass and tried to get me that way. Even though the door wasn’t locked. I was kicked out for making a mess that I didn’t even do and slept in the rain on the corner of my street since my dad said if he even saw me on the street I would be sorry. I moved again and I stay locked up in my room now but still I’ve been kicked out in this big old city of San Antonio. It’s not my full story but it’s some and it’ll give me some relief that I got some of their things off of my chest.