i hate my toddler

I have the 2y/o from hell. she hits me bites me throws things at me screams/yells at me all day everyday for the last 6months or so. Anything she ruins belongs to me she wont touch her fathers things and shes always getting into things she never goes near when her father is home. we had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out of my makeup and jewlery which she has broken/lost and colored with and now i have to wake up at 545am because she destroys the house while im sleeping since she wakes up before my husband leaves for work every morning at 6am.the minute anyone else is around she completely changes into a perfect angel. i have thought about leaving and signing myself into a mental hospital or drugging her into a zombie like state. she is making me crazy and i hate her so much i dont even want to look at her.

63 thoughts on “i hate my toddler

  1. Reading all the comments from mums whise experiencing being hit or screamed at i do feel my toddler isnt too bad! But i just cannot help feel frustrated at the thought of having alone with my infant and her for a whole day….she is very demanding and now started saying “mama mama mama” and when I ask what she usually has nothing to say or say something in gibberish! I just sick of this attention seeking behavior…even when I send her out to play in the garden of our house she wants me to GO WITH HER! i desperately need some time out from her during the day so I can juz be with myself. Even when I am workinf on my laptop she wants to see what’s happening and just wont play on her own! !
    We have a cat in the house and she would play with her but then she would just scream at little things the poor car does like running away or towards her or just nonsense things…i just hate her behavior everyday!! I hope one day i can truly love her and adore her everyday as right now i am NOT…even when she wants cuddles from me I do it but not whole heartedly! I feel so bad at times as I am snapping at her for little things…i know im supposed to be this patient and good mum but I just cant help getting annoyed at her for no reason sometimes

  2. Thank you everyone for being honest. I have an almost 3 year old who is a terror and won’t listen. I appreciate these posts and reassured that I am not the only one who feels this way. There is no need for rude comments. Just because we have moments where we are at our whits end doesn’t mean we are going to harm our children.

  3. I hate my toddler beyond words 90% of the time. She is a colossal ******* *******. Doesn’t ever listen to anything. Throws food, spills everything, destroys my house, hits and kicks her newborn baby brother, screams in his face when he’s sleeping. She’s a terrible Terrible human and ruins most hours of my day, every single day. I have no judgement. People w good kids have no idea and don’t understand at all what it’s like to have someone look in your Face and smile while they empty and box of cereal on the carpet or kick a newborn baby in the face. It’s a nightmare and if it wasn’t for the new Baby, I would just go back to work. She’s going to school in fall six hours a day and that is best option I can come up with for now. Good luck to you and I understand your pai

  4. I have a 2.5 year old and feel the same way a lot of the time. I bite the insides of my cheeks all day just to stop myself from screaming or slapping her, sometimes I bite so hard my mouth is raw and tastes like blood. But then, other times my heart feels like it will explode because I love her so much and she is so perfect. It’s such an emotional roller coaster ride. Time outs are what works for me, she screams like a banchee the entire time, but I go into the other room and distract myself with a game or the Internet for a couple minutes, usually after that she is calmer and so am I.

  5. I feel the same way. My 2 1/2 year old son is a nightmare. He whines and crys and screams when he is with me. He listens fairly well when I tell him no or redirect him. His actions will change but then comes the whining tantrum. I am at my wits end. I have a lot of help from my sister in law, husband and now day care twice a week. But just the thought of having to spend any amount of time with him makes me ill. I can not wait for him to grow up, use words and have the ability to understand. I had not idea how much I hated children until I had him.
    Never again. I’ll be lucky to survive this.

    1. Megan: I understand how you feel. There is supposed to be at least part of the time that you enjoy your child’s company. I want to suggest to you to try going to a therapist if you aren’t already, they can help you figure out different ways to cope with situations that we did not see before. Even if you just vent to them it will help you feel better. We have to feel good about ourselves before we can feel good about our kids. I know it is tough but don’t give up! 🙂

  6. Get help for your kid. Get help for yourself. Don’t judge yourself or your kid. Get the help you need. Do your best to be a good parent, and if that means getting yourself away from your kid temporarily then do it. If it means getting a job and sending your kid to daycare or whatever, that’s better than hating your kid and yourself and your life. There’s a chance your kid will move out of this stage. If you feel so badly about your kid, you are doing the right and best thing by taking yourself out of the situation until you can get things straightened out. Just do it as responsibly as you can.

  7. no wonder they call it the “terrible two’s”

    My cousin was like this when he was two and three.
    He was satan to me but an angel to everyone else
    it eventually passed, and i think it will for you too

  8. Hang in there, it does get better.

    I had a biter too, and even now, he at 16 still wants his own way. But seeing how he’s grown and brought happiness is unbelievable.

    I don’t know what you are going through, just wanted to send a kind word to you.

  9. What the ****? It sounds like an average toddler to me.. maybe instead of hating her you should try to be a parent and teach her not to tough things.. or not to go in your room. I personaly think it’s sad that you want to go to a hospital about your own kid. Like realy? If you didin’t want her you shouldn’t of had her in the first place.

    1. Anonymous……wonder why?? No balls to claim your opinion???? Ppl choice to go to war but need therapy when they get back to deal with the things they went through. Ppl choice to get married and need counselling to help make it a better relationship. Asking for help is not a crime! Raising children is the hardest job in the world and either you have none of your own or you have ignored them enough(or disciplined/beat them enough) to where the last thing they want to do is cause a problem for you. Yes children need discipline and its hard but it’s been proven that ac child that acts up with their mother and is the perfect angel with others(grandparents, teachers etc.),us because they are comfortable with you. Told a good mother, and everybody needs help. Sounds like you have the same problem as i do…….. We need a break. We give too much of ourselves to our children and not enough time to ourselves. So much stress(and a toddler is the top of the stress food chain) and not enough relaxation can cause mental problems, being overwhelmed, overworked……..put them in a safe room, go out front where you can’t hear them cry and paint your your nails….drink a glass of wine and listen to some music…..read a book… Relax……my teacher in parenting class gave me the vest advice……no child has died from crying themselves to death. …….taking a second for yourself will relieve your nerves, and ultimately make you a more calm and better parent. …..walk away, have a minute to yourself. Don’t feel guilty. Make sure Their safe and step out of the chaos. It’s ok! It’s actually recommended.

  10. Oh…love, I know how you feel. They ALL do this at some point. I’m about ready to quit too….threatened to cancel Christmas just yesterday – started taking the ornaments off the tree and everything.

    It’s ok to hate them right now. I am assured by my friend who has 4 (!) that it passes. Not soon enough!!

    Hang in there – they are irrational beings, it’s not on purpose.

  11. Your baby will not be this young forever so try and cherish the little things that she does to make you happy. Also now is a good age to start putting her into time outs, she is old enough to understand a time out. Keep up with it and remember to always love her because you mean the world to her

  12. Im sorry to hear this, maybe she just wants to be like you and because she cant shes jealous. I feel angry toward my 2yo sometimes. He refuses to do any learning, hes so smart hes to and can count to five add and subtract but on the days he doesnt wanna do any work i get so angry with him..all i hear is ‘play trucks’ all the time im about to throw his trucks in the trash and when i go away from him he follows and gives me stickers saying ‘god mommy’ but im so mad at him why the hell cant he just work..

  13. Toddlers are difficult. I have four :)
    Please, if you truely feel this way and are not just venting you must tell someone. There are plenty of women out there who would give anything for a child, to love and care for a naughty little girl! Talk to someone. It would be better for both of you than to keep quiet until you do something you can’t take back. And allowing her to grow up unloved will only make her worse. Get help before it’s too late. Please!

  14. how could u say u hate your child like that? i understand children
    can be difficult at times, i have a toddler too, but maybe u should discipline her and show her some guidance. there’s a reason shes acting out like that, maybe she realizes u feel the way u do . why don’t u try being a mother and take care of your child instead of hating her.

  15. It is perfectly normal. It happened to my wife and our daughter, she is 3 now and sonetimes still give her hell. I had to change jobs so I can be home more often and she just changed almost completely. Believe it or not she loves you more than you know. My daughter always cries for her mommy when she is sick or on pain. Just take her out more and be in a public place where she can run and exhaust herself and dont take it out on you. There is a eeason why they call them the terrible twos. Dont tell her she is bad and dont argue when she is around. You love her remember that mate.

  16. I’m a mom of 2(2 year old and 5 month old girls). I am with you on signing myself into a mental hospital! I actually did it and I got no help!!!! People thought I was full of it! Everything I say is a lie to them! My children are NOT angels!!!!!! No one is there to see it!!~!!! I’m losing it.

    But I am glad I am not alone on this.

    I just want you to know you are not alone

  17. Tell me about it. My 2-year old does the same crap around my wife. But when it is just me and him, then he’s as happy as can be. When mom comes home, he turns into a screaming, crying, hitting terror. And I have to watch all of this unfold. It irritates me, because I don’t know what to do about it. I am starting to become spiteful of him, because he sucks every bit of attention from my wife, and leaves her exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed out every evening after work.

  18. Its a SHAME that someone so lucky to have children feels this way! Maybe you should have thought about that BEFORE you layed down in that bed.

  19. Get yourself a job during the day and put her in daycare.
    ALL DAY daycare. Seriously…’til like 6 o’clock at night.
    Even if it costs every single cent of your weekly pay check to do so.

    You certainly won’t be the only mother who’s doing this for your same exact reasons.

  20. Giiirl you must learn how to discipline your child! At 2 years old they’re in the cycle where they have feelings for a male’s (father only) attention and see you as being the one in the way of her getting all of his time. If you were to introduce her to the belt she WILL learn and she WILL know not to mess with authority!

    1. Would you like to have someone discipline you with a belt for doing something that someone else didn’t like?

      Just consider this: You get pulled over by the police for speeding and are physically attacked by the officer as part of your punishment. If you don’t agree with this (because obviously it is illegal) then you shouldn’t agree with the belt.

  21. Sounds like that brat needs a whooping! Honestly, it will do her a lot of good in the long run and it will make you feel a lot better.

    1. dear” Extremely Frustrated”…

      please do not take advice from someone calling themselves “bojangles”. beating your child will definitely not make you feel better – there is lots of other good advice here. I hope you find help soon.

        1. Actually I spanked my kid once and I cried longer than he did for it because I hated myself so much for losing my cool and resorting to physical discipline. You will feel worse for it, not better.

          1. Magdelena, I gave my kids a swat on the fanny maybe two or three times…one swat, it was to get their attention because sometimes all other strategies failed when they were doing something like smearing food on a wall or being mean and pulling each others hair, etc.

  22. Well stop trying to be her buddy and b a MOM, if it was a grown person doing this to you, you would wooup their ass wouldnt you? So. She should be no different. When I was a child I feared my mom more than my dad and that was for a reason.

  23. i have a 2 yr old from hell …He is the worst one in hell.. i feel god punished me while i am on earth..may be he do not want to wait till i am ded…. my son is pain in the ass .. he cries at least 4 hours a day non stop.. and never eats anything and ..always hanging on to my neck… all i here in day is MUMMY mummmeeee mommmy mom…i am tired of this m word … i wish i am dead…. and at the same time i want to live and enjoy my life…. and top of all this crap my in lwas are always back of me ciricizing me for how thin he his …. WHAT CAN I DO? He do not want to eat and wastes all the food i give i feel bad for the childred who die with food… i wish often with to send him to africa for a week so he relaise how hard it is to get food.and how lucy is he…I send him to preschool and he is the olny one who do not want to eat and play… I hate him to death… I wish I never had him.

    1. I know how you feel I have 2 and I can’t stand them theyre so annoying and inconvenient they ruin my life I wish they would go away I hate them to a fault they never shut up and I don’t ever feel bad when they cry it just pisses me off theyre always in trouble for annoying me the destroy my ******* house before I wake up I don’t do rewards at all or surprises it’s if u don’t listen stay in ur room and shut the **** up

      1. Mummy: I completely understand your feelings and have been there before and I realize that your post is old but please listen. You need to get help, the feeling of anger is normal, even hating at some times but wishing you were dead is more severe. It is not easy but there should be some times that you enjoy being a parent, when you don’t is when you know you need help. Also consider that maybe your child has Autism or another learning disability. It is not meant to be easy but it is not meant to be as hard as you are feeling. I hope that you have already taken these steps for both of your sakes.

        Bailey: Most of the above may apply to you as well. I can not stress enough how important therapy is, even to just vent a therapist can help you with alternative ways of doing things which can help your situation. I also want to say that rewards and surprises are extremely powerful tools that you can utilize to train them on better behavior.

        I am not trying at all to be critical of either of you, I am just trying to help and I truly hope that you both can enjoy being parents at least some of the time.

        A little about us: I have a 5 year old who is Autistic and an almost 3 year old. I myself have: Autism, major recurrant depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and last but definitely not least PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder).

        Failure is only proof that you are trying and once you succeed you will feel so much better. Don’t ever give up! 💛

        I have chosen to receive email notifications for replys here if you have any questions or even just want to talk or vent.

      2. Wow! I have understood every mother on here complaining about their kids except you cause you either Don’t have children or do not need to have them. Please get help. For them and you. Mental help. All the other mothers are crying for help but bailey you just obviously hate your kids or your making it up that you actually have any. Please adopt them out and go live your life free of their burden! Pathetic!

    2. I feel you… My 2 1/2 year old boy is constantly throwing tantrums over nothing at all. He’s always been this way. Nothing’s physically wrong with him. He can be the sweetest, silliest, most playful little boy, but he freaks out at least once every. Single. Damn. Day. I’m exhausted & so over it. I haven’t resorted to physical punishment for screaming at the top of his lungs for 25 mins for absolutely no reason, but I definitely see why people beat their kids now. I still think it’s wrong & I don’t ever want to physically hurt him (I mean, I feel like doing it, I just have to control myself) but I completely get why parents do it. I even see why people kill their kids. Al we do is love & provide for our kids, give them constant attention, make sure they’re fed & eat healthy, teach them, are patient with them, & they just make us feel like not even living anymore… This is so hard, I really hope we all get through it. I’m at my wits end & feel like I could end up in the looney bin soon.

  24. You need to get some professional help and you need to call child protection services in your area and remove your toddler from your home for your childs safety and protection .

    1. Who the F are you to make that kind of a call from such a small and albeit very emotional but tiny glimpse into some poor mothers life!? People like you make me absolutely ill to my stomach. There are people out there that abuse and neglect there children and worse and CPS’s already spread thin resources are wasted on investigating some judgemental biggots’ high horse unsubstantiated claims. Even if there is the slightest (and as a mother of a 3yr old myself, I think not) situation in this woman’s home, she is actually crying out for help by sharing that here. So SHAME on you. I assume that you are not a mother yourself because I can PROMISE you that every mom that’s read this can understand and feel empathy because they’ve been there as well. Shame

  25. OK. This is bad. REAL bad. I think a 2 year old may be annoying sometimes, but you’re a parent. Tell her that you’re her mother. She should respect you. Tell other people too, that you’re having difficulties with her. If she’s really that much of a problem, get her, and yourself, a help. From your family, friend, or even professional, if it’s really needed.

    I was a bad kid, and maybe some people think I’m still a bad kid (I’m actually young, real young.), but looking back, I think I’m getting better. My whole life, every people I met affects me. I grow. So, let your kid grow with someone good and actually respect their parents. What about that.

    One more thing. Remember at all times, she’s your daughter. She needs love.

    1. I can’t help but laugh at your comment: Tell a two year old that you’re their parent and they have to respect you. I would like to offer up my two year old for an entire day to you and see how it goes when you tell him that. 😂

    2. Before you even said “I’m young, real young” I was thinking ok this is obviously a teenager with no kids… Right, tell a 2 year old to respect you lol

  26. maybe you need to take a break… how about take a vacation away from your daughter… seems like you have post partum depression..

  27. lol jesus. Ok, so yeah, some kids are terrors. If you truly, truly feel helpless around this kid then get help. Even medicaid will get you a good counselor for yourself and this kid. She needs behavior modification. Maybe she has opposition defiance disorder.

    My kids used to drive me nuts. I had them young and didn’t knwo what I was doing.Z The oldest would throw things out the window and pee in cups; the middle would cry and throw tantrums. He’s 10 and still does from time to time. His teachers say he talks back and, well, at times he is a general pain in the ass. My youngest is extremely needy and I don’t always know how to respond. They’re always in my stuff. It drives me nuts. On top of this I’m a single mom. Their dad is too much of an ass to handle them. There were days I wanted to bail and run. I seriously didn’t think I could do it, but this is the ting– You have to understand that all children are fixable. I had three before i was ready and have had to learn to respond to their needs individually. Sometimes I freak out because I’m doing this alone, but the truth is there’s a lot of help out there for me, and for you. Kids WANT to behave. They WANT your approval. They NATURALLY love you. Some of them just happen to really need help doing it. I had to get books and learn to meditate for the stress. I needed to learn to be honest about myself and my parenting. The truth is I’m a little selfish and they’re starving for my attention. This is the point: don’t count her out as a loving baby.. She has it in her. I know its tough but don’t give up on her.

  28. Welcome to parenthood! I feel that way sometimes too, but what did you think parenting would be, sitting down to discuss politics over tea?

  29. I am sorry you are having a rough day. I am sure a few hours after posting this comment things calmed down. I also have a 2 yr old and a 2 month old and some days.. are hell. But when I go to bed at night I miss them so badly it hurts.

    I found the more understanding and patient I am with my toddler the more she obeys me, however she does get into everything throughout the house. I call her a motivated learner because that is how she learns and NOTHING will stop her!!

  30. You are paying the price for neglecting to be a real mom for two years. She will get worse unless you pull your head out of your asss and realize what being a mom requires, such as- waking up and taking care of her when she wakes up, putting your makeup and jewelry where she can’t get to it, and supervising her if only to teach her.

    1. You comment is so unfair, no wonder you did it as anonymous. This site should be a safe zone to vent and be honest. The expectation is to get apathy and advise;not to be ‘anonymously’ attacked.

      1. I am a single mother of 2 children. I have a 8 year old and a 2 year old. The 2 year old girl drives me nuts. As I read anoymous, I realize how right he is. Do not get offended, venting out is also for the purpose of getting feedback and advice. The truth does not always come wrapped in bows. Straight up, these kids will do what they eant with us unless we do pull our head out of our ass, buying a rack up high to keep them away from our stuff. Yes my daughter has destroyed my expensive make up, time to spend less time doing other things and start supervising these little devils until they grow up. We had them, they did not get asked to get here. We brought them into this world. Discipline time. I am not going crazy over a little bratt.

        1. Bitch, please. The woman could be a perfect mom and her toddler could STILL just be an *******. Quit with the mommy judging. True, the kids didn’t ask to be here, but that doesn’t always mean we have to do a fake song and dance as though parenting isn’t the hardest job in the world. She’s allowed to vent; kids can be complete paradise in many ways and hellish in others. Let her have her scream box, and if you want mommy perfection, clearly all you need to do is look in the mirror. #sarcasm

    2. This is an anonymous bullying and cowardlying comment. I know this comment is 5 years old. I hope for your sake that you’ve grown up since then.

    3. What an awful thing to say. I have been a diligent parent and still have a strong willed child. He is 2, knows his abcs, can spell his name, knows his colors and is very advanced (obviously not neglected). We also are dealing with the same attktude problems. Get over yourself and stop mom shaming. It isnt pretty

    4. You obviously are a trained house wife with no true feelings or beliefs of her own, or you have a nanny/sitter with your child all day(if you have any). Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Nobody will test you like your children. I have been so against any form of physical discipline to a child, throughout my whole life, throughout 2children……but my 3rd daughter lent truth to the saying that all children are different and need different discipline. I love my 3daughters more than life and would give my life for them without a second thought but at this moment right now…… I do not like my 2 and 1/2 year old daughter at all!! I think I’ve spoiled her on top of her having a very free spirt and outgoing personality. She’s more than a handful and i know I’m not lacking as a parent. I could challenge any human being to be in my shoes and i doubt half would survive without a serious alcohol/drug addiction or being a patient at a mental hospital. I have no guilt in saying i don’t like my toddler and neither should the woman posting this!! That’s not to say we are not going too grow to live our toddlers and have a wonderful relationship with them. It’s called being honest and not forcing yourself to fit into that perfect image of the perfect mother. Were human,we make mistakes,we need help and we have hard times. I’m sure my daughter doesn’t like me most of the time either but when she gets a “boo boo” the 1st words out of her mouth is mommy! In an honest marriage, you don’t like each other all the time! I hope 1day you will be honest with yourself instead of trying to convince others and yourself that your this perfect parent/person. It makes you look desperate and let’s on a stench of not liking yourself and trying to prove something to others. Take a look yourself honey! And to the woman that originally posted this…….I’m with you girl, I DO NOT LIKE MY TODDLER!! LOVE HER, BUT DO NOT LIKE HER AT ALL! I count down the hours till bedtime everyday. I feel like it’s the only time i can breath. Like I’m in an abusive relationship, walking on eggshells to not piss off my partner! It feels pathetic sometimes that I’m afraid of a 2 year old…….but I am because i do love her. And your posting this because you do too. You took the time to try to fix a problem that you care about….that just proves your a good mother. A bad mother wouldn’t care. You do. Keep fighting the good fight. War has nothing on mothering a toddler with a determined mind!!

  31. You poor thing. It is not meant to be this way. Get help and get it now. Children change and I should know, I have been there before , different yet feelings the same. Find some pointers from Positive Parenting and stick to it. It is hard. Maybe get your family involved . Hospitals have support for mums.

  32. The terrible twos. I know somewhat how you feel but im sure im not alone. My boy is 3 going on 4 and hes so far up my ass that i sometimes need a break from him. I get upset all too much but the one thing that will never ever change is just how much i love him. Im starting to do the tough live bit now. Instrad of always having to sleep by his side at night im sitting on the floor – even now as i write this. I get up each day at 3:30am for work and sometimes dont get to sleep until 10pm or so. There are people going through these very same things so hang in there. Youre not crazy… Just a bit frustrated. Good luck and love her unconditionally.

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