i did something horrible to my cousin
Posted by djd in Family on Sep 1st, 2010 | 11 commentsIn the hole world, just my step-brother knows about this, and he thoght i lied when i told him, apart from him, nobody knows about this.
When i was 15yo, i hade sex with my little cousin 10 years yonget than me. I have never forgive me about this. I cant look my selft in the mirror without thinking to get rip of me. I have done so many things, thinking that i’ll end up dead about it, but i always fail, eather for my cowardness or for pure coinsidense.
i know you people want me to tell in details how it happend, but i just cant, if i write it, ill remember it, and then the horrible felling will come again so i wont do that. The only think that i can tell its that it was not forceful (kind of concented) and that i dint penetrate her.
I tell this because its that i want to move on, be happy again . Since that happen, i havent felt that my laff was not actualy real, like i dint want other people to concerrn too much about me, because i dint want to be a load for my family and frinds.
11 Responses to “ “i did something horrible to my cousin”
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And sorry for my bad english writing.
she was five? you need to seek help.
how awful for her to experience this.
You have to remember that all people do silly and stupid things sometimes. But I do agree you need professional help to sort out your feelings and behaviours. I pray that you never do something like that again.
I never did anything sexual… but I also have done horrible things, I can kinda know how you feel.
hello? people. you’re all taking this one way too lightly. not only does this person need help, but the person he MOLESTED needs more help than he does. my god do the right thing and tell someone so she can get some help if needed. fortunately for you, i don’t know your IP address or who you are or I’d go turn you in! omg
Who says we’re taking it lightly? He’s just not the only person who’s done horrible things. He probably has sought help in one form or another, he’s attempted suicide over it, no one’s taking this lightly.
I will add this on though. You really hurt your cousin. Killing yourself will only hurt more people – your family and friends… you and your step-brother sound close. Even if he didn’t believe you, you obviously trust(ed?) him. Killing yourself will inflict a lifetime of pain on everyone you know. If you want to redeem yourself, that isn’t the way out. As I said above, I have also done horrible things and have cotemplated suicide over it… And ya know what? You’ll probably never be able to forgive yourself for this. But that doesn’t mean life stops.
“It is simple. You will never forgive yourself. Accept it. You hurt others… That cannot be undone. You will never find personal retribution. But your life does not have to end. That which is right, just, and true can still prevail. If you do not fight for what you believe in, all may be lost for everyone else. But do not fight for yourself. Fight for others, others that may be saved through your effort. That is the least you can do.”
— Teal’c from Stargate: The Ark Of Truth
Was she five? No offence, but that is sick. really sick. And I agree, seeking professional help would be best for you. I see a woman every month and she helps me . . . . for different reason. Anyway, first I would talk to this cousin of yours. Imagine how she is feeling right now (or he) TALK TO HER. Still, you made a mistake, and you deserve to move on from it. I’m sure u had ur reasons to do it.
Where you trying to experience with her? Like wtf seriously dude no offense what were you thinking? Did the devil when inside you? But still I know how you might feel, if I were would look for help
i did something bad once, but far from that bad and there was nothing sexual about it… back when i was 6-7yo i sort of bullied around with my friends little sister who was only 2-3.. i’m 13 now and feel terrible! i want to tell somebody and talk about it but i just… can’t! i’m trying to figure out what made me do that to her but i don’t know! maybe i felt powerfull like i could bully this child because she was weaker… i don’t know.. i feel awful! and i just hope she doesn’t rememeber.. i think about it almost every day and i just hope i didn’t ruin her childhood! i feel so awful and i don’t know what to do! but i don’t know if this is only an exuse i use to comfort myself, but i was only a child myself, i didn’t know how bad what i did really was…
i had the same experience,she was 15 and i am 26,and i think she liked it in end